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2015.02.04 11:31 Jennylovex Google Dating - Best Online Dating Site

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2018.12.15 05:45 CurmudgeonlyBlaggart You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals

Discussion of dating, relationships and the single life with people 40+. Please be civil.
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2020.11.28 17:11 Throwaway16329380 I [27F] don’t know how to confront single best friend [26F] who might be jealous of my relationship

Throwaway account for reasons. Sorry that this is going to be so long, but I have a lot on my mind.
So, I really hate writing this because I don’t want to be “that friend in a relationship” who thinks all the issues in her platonic sphere are due to her single friends being jealous, and I tried really hard to deal with these issues as if jealousy wasn’t a factor, but I don’t think I can anymore. I starting to feel like my best friend/roommate hates that I’m in a relationship. If anyone can help me get out of this mindset if needed I would greatly appreciate it. I’ll also try to be as fair to her as I can.
For some quick background, my friend is single and has had issues with online dating. We’re both definitely late bloomers, but I put myself out there a couple years back while she’s just recently gotten the confidence to do so herself, which I was initially really proud of. Recently, though, I’ve been worried that her attitude towards the whole thing has gotten progressively worse as dating prospects where we are aren’t great. She sent a lot of anti dating memes in chat and randomly joked one time about being bitter. I try to consciously avoid rubbing my relationship in her face, because as a fellow late bloomer, I remember how much that sucked. She seemed to really like my partner and joke around with him, and at least will still be kind to his face, but lately when it’s just her and I, things have been different.
So I wrote a post in here about a month ago describing how she just wanted things quiet all day and when my long term partner was over on weekends (more context on that post). During that convo, she said something about feeling “like a third wheel in her own home” because, when he’s over, I would just stay in my room with him all weekend unless we would cook in the kitchen (we’d usually go and do things out in the world, but covid). That particular line stuck with me for some time afterwards. I tried not forcing them to hang out with him when he was here, and I hung out with them during the week, so that was confusing to hear. I got some soundproofing panels based on advice I received in that post, and also tried talking with her about the “third wheel” thing some more. While she offered up a couple points on things I could do differently, she didn’t seem like she really wanted to talk about it, so I let it go.
Last week, my partner and I decided to distance like we did during the spike in the Spring to keep our households safe as things are getting really bad around here. Since then, I’ve noticed 3 things that have gotten under my skin a bit. 1) I was, funnily enough, scrolling on Reddit last week while my roommates and I were in the living room watching TV, and she yelled at me “are you texting him?”. Now, she has said this before, but with the context of the convo we had a month ago, it peeved me off a bit. I tried to jokingly tell her off before revealing that I was actually on Reddit, but it kept bothering me that she would even care that I was texting my own partner. The 2nd thing was that he called the day before Thanksgiving to ask if I needed any extra supplies, and I excused myself to the kitchen to talk so she and our other roommate could continue watching TV in peace. Once we covered supplies, we were joking about this meme we found on Instagram that mentioned something about reverse cowgirl (it was a girl reversing in her car with a cowboy hat on, and the joke was that the person was a virgin and didn’t know what it was, for reference). We started talking about how hilarious the meme page we got it from was, when she loudly yelled from the living room “are y’all talking about reverse cowgirl?”, to which I responded without thinking “yeah, did I send you that meme?”. She then sort of muttered “No, I just wanted to make sure y’all weren’t talking about...” (I couldn’t really make out what she said as my other roommate giggled. Guessing it was “talking about sex”). Usually I would understand if someone didn’t want to hear seemingly vulgar things, but this friend jokes about some of the most gross sexual stuff all. of. the. time. If we got through a episode of something without her mentioning something crudely sexual for shock value, it would be surprising. I was just left feeling like, one, why are you in my conversation and two, what gives you the right to police what I talk about with my own partner? The third and last thing was right after, so I was still a little amped up. My family had called and were discussing this super labor intensive dish that I make and trying to get me to make it another time as I wasn’t going home for Thanksgiving (because duh). My sister joked that I always make it for my friends and that I don’t make it for them enough. This friend who was then in the kitchen kept saying it was my partner’s fault over and over again, which I ignored. The funny part is, my family also ignored it even though you could clearly hear her. They love my partner to bits, so I don’t know if they also felt a way about it.
Again, sorry for the long post but I’ve just been stewing about this since this all happened. Is there anything y’all would do to confront this? Should I even confront it? We have drifted apart a little as friends for reasons not involving this dilemma, but I don’t want to lose such a long-standing friendship over a romantic relationship.
Tl;dr: things between my best friend/roommate and me have gotten weird as I’ve noticed her getting annoyed at anything having to do with him, and I don’t know how to confront her about it or even if I should.
submitted by Throwaway16329380 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 16:11 Peterson95 Male(25) Scotland - Female (19) Germany

So an update for everyone,

We met online and it was the best thing ever, she played games I played games
(Inner childhood dream becomes reality) - (Broke up after 6 months together)

So first few months were amazing, April 30th 2020 to be exact, lead up to a few issues with trust and stuff but we fixed it and got better, I learned a lot about her, her past, and current situations which I don't feel is right on my behalf to say, but she had trauma and I didn't expect it to be as bad.

May - Became loving and really close, never a day without each others company, Instant problem, no time for yourself because its the love phase and the Adrenaline is high between you both and its long distance so things get more amped up as you want to prove yourself.

June, same as may, feelings become more and more connected, learning more by the day about each other, few disagreements because she was doing drugs with friends and one guy friend said they may need to share a bed, I wasn't confident or happy with it, we worked it out he slept on the living room floor she shared a bed wit ha girl friend, she sent a picture to prove it which shouldn't have been the case but she wanted to assure me.

July, Feelings are becoming more towards the I love you sign, I dropped the I love you she did too, it became a daily thing, movie nights together watching her favourite childhood cartoons or movies she remembered ( Aristocats,101 Dalmatians, Inside out) Started to speak about flying to her at the end of July, Corona virus got worse I was furloughed nothing to do, stuck in Scotland, lost all my friends because of my depression getting worse decided to make myself happy and fly to her to close the gap, I done it August 1st -8th. She was scared, past trauma, panic attacks took over her, she didn't want me to fly, she spoke to her dad, he said book the flights and live with us in Munich, I done it. Adrenaline was high, I haven't flew in 13 years, and I was doing it all alone, got the train to the town centre, memory in my head of it saved, got to the town centre messaged her, I'm almost at the airport, butterflies in my stomach fear was there but I suppressed it, never felt like this for a girl, not even my exes. Got the bus to the airport, flight booked in at 18:00 Edinburgh - Landed in Munich 21:00 during the flight I slept, constantly dreaming of her and meeting her. Landed in Munich, mother calls me, wishing me luck and she's proud of me for stepping out my comfort zone for a girl 1300km away.
(there was some issues with a girl flirting with me at this point and a lot of other stuff that happened that was resolved but caused problems because she didn't trust girls and I didn't trust guys a few other things such as other guys flirting with her and her not seeing it as flirting and passing it for them joking around, me being caring for her because her problems and past i got more protective of her because I didn't know how else to react, she wouldn't tell me the full story of stuff and hide it, then the next day she would tell me, and it would cause more stress, because she needs time to word things correctly so she doesn't fuck anything up, but doing that it stressed me out thinking there was problems everyday etc))

I get to my exit gate, I see her I'm nervous scared, she comes to me we hug, I meet her dad (who is the most nicest man I've ever met and regret hurting him through hurting his daughter) It was all so quick and nerve racking, sat in the back of the car, awkward silence for a bit, she texts me (I love you so much and I'm happy you came) currently crying while writing this as my depression and love for her is still strong even thought its been two weeks and I keep ruining every chance, Sitting in the back of the car we finally converse, things are good, we get home I get my room located in the basement where her dad works from home. We relax in her room watch a movie, she cuddles up next to me, we kiss for the first time, I will never forget it, it felt like a first kiss and I will hold id close to me, the next days I met her mother on Sunday as I arrived Saturday, we went travelling around Munich visiting places, I got sick due to travel sickness and not eating because the nerves. Had a meal couldn't properly eat it felt bad for wasting her dads money and offered to pay, (no you are our guest) I still regret not paying and not eating because I'm a guest. The next day we relaxed had a few movies, then went out to meet her real life friends who were so nice and welcoming, the guy her best friend Kuba, still in contact with me and still talks to me, made me food I ate thank god food I'm my tummy, I cant keep my eyes off her, she's so beautiful, I begin questioning myself how, why, typical things always waiting for the red flags because my past trauma with my abusive and controlling ex, We go about our day, get burgers to eat and stuff, alcohol, I couldn't really drink because I found out I had a issue with my stomach due to over drinking alcohol during furlough, went home she was drunk we lay in bed i opened up about my past life and my ex with her, i cried for the first time since i was 16 after my uncle passed away that night, i never showed emotions or feelings, I was a bit of a fuck boy before i met her, sleeping around with other girls, then i found the one, her and still two weeks into the breakup she feels like the one to me and i cant move on.
After all the fun we had, i never slept with her, because she wasn't on the pill i had no condoms, i wanted to but i didn't because i valued her past and wanted it to be the right time when we did it. Apart of me feels she hates me for not doing it but im over thinking everything, im ruining more things than i am making it better.

So i fly home on August 8th, i land depressed sad, crying she messages me come online when your home we relax in discord we talk and flirt the usual stuff, I've became weaker, more emotional and open, nothing really happens in this month of August apart from us talking more planning more.

September - Stress, Operation, Depression, and anxiety and more problems occur. She has her birthday in September, shes mature for her age and thats what attracted me originally and she was funny, Exams and her depression gets worse, i begin to focus more on her needs ordering her stuff, rings, a necklace, a teddy bear, flowers every month also forgot to mention this as its something i like to do for her, She's fine, in hospital im worried waiting for her to be home, we message all the time comforting her being there for her, not realising my breakdown is near and im about to hit rock bottom. She gets out, stress from school, doubting herself losing faith in herself, i begin to think its me, im doing something wrong, what do i do? I work harder and it makes it more stressful because i don't know what else to do, she says she needs time at the end of September, this goes on until the breakup, I over work myself during work im back working in the Gyms and working from home in my other job, constantly telling people about her, showing people pictures of us in Germany, loving her missing her daily, she's my everything my princess, Im happy with her and what we have, My ex appears in the gym, my trauma goes into overdrive, she's dating my best friend now, we argue, i get mad depressed sad, i crumble, i try to explain to my current girlfriend the issues, but im getting mad because im not explaining myself the way i want to, she tells me its ok i love you your the one for me, i begin to feel insecure and my past is taking over, i book appointments for therapy in October as follows.

October - The worst month of the relationship, so she needs time, reaches out to her old German friends, doing so she meets more girls, guys etc, one guy she met Marc only knew him for three days and instantly he has her number for WhatsApp, I asked him who gave who their numbers, he said he gave her his, she said she gave him hers, two conflicting stories, i begin to over think and doubt myself im already falling apart, i ask for time and she tells me "How ironic, now you need time" i held on so much and tried to push through but i crumbled, and she thinks im blaming her for things when im not im lost confused and hurt, unsure of what else to do. I speak to my therapist he tells me to take time, dont message your girlfriend just stop writing lengthy paragraphs and getting mad your not getting what you put into it in return., so i do so, she spams me "Why are you distant" "what's wrong" i tell her im sorry i need time, im mentally unstable right now, being furloughed from the gym again, losing more money, my mothers stressing me out for rent money, my bills i cant pay im stressed, relationship becomes harder to manage because she feels im caging her when i finish work and say im finished work, as if its a key word for "Get online and play with me" she has always had her opportunity to say no, so we discuss more and more trying to fix it, seems to get worse with no result, so i say, lets plan a day for us and us only, i told all my friends im busy on this day dont contact me, Saturday comes, we game together after i finish work, we play up until 9:30 pm when she says "My friends want me to play games, is it ok if i play, its up to you" I reply no truthfully we arranged today for us, games all day then a movie, she sighs and gets upset, so she goes quiet and i say, just go play with your friends then if you want to its fine, she replies, NOOO i want to play with you and then a movie. So im getting mixed signals from this and it hurts, also her "friend" Marc we tried to play but i went quiet and had a breakdown because i wasnt ready, i tried to explain this to him, he tells me "your an adult, man up and stop being insecure, and an asshole controlling her" which sets me off big time, like you dont know me i just tried to explain and you insult me after you showed me you were overweight you asked me to help you and you return it with this issue like what?
We also broke up unofficially the first time due to me breaking her trust and fucking things up, which i can understand why, i promised her everything, but i kept fucking up because i was stressed and scared to loss her, and she was distancing herself more and more from me, we would only see each other at midnight for a movie, and at that point there was no talking movie and sleep that was it, so no bonding, we made no plans but she could just go on message her friends and thats her the whole day gaming with them. The thing that annoyed me the most was Marc, how he disrespects my emotions and traumas and tells me his and i respected him for it. He continues to play around with my emotions, blocking me re-adding me causing more issues and making me more angry, so i blocked him, to which i was happy, then i started to get messages on an app ( Tellony, basically anonymous people can ask you questions) so i started to get weird ones, that i only told her about, turns out shed talk to him about stuff etc, and then the questions would appear for me, so i asked her she confirmed yes we did talk, he denies typing them when i know im right, my gut says so, this was another issue, distrusting myself also, saying na it wont be this wont be that, so i grew more weaker to my own trust. After that we got back together etc, ran up to November 2nd when we broke up officially, it became too much, she felt i was blaming her etc, more issues got worse, my depression the lack of income, everything got ontop of me, she tried to understand me but her stress ontop of mine was too much, she lost friends to drugs also which added up ontop of it etc, she played with those people to destress and stuff, but i felt neglected and useless, but she didnt realise this how i felt about her pushing me away, anyways it got worse and still is worse now, i miss her we tried to be friends more issues keep happening, i feel we can be together again, but i dont know i need to get better but i cant because well, i feel disrespected that she plays with this Marc guy, even tho he breaks her trust more than me, and she plays with him alone sometimes for hours, then with the others, and it pisses me off truthfully, even tho hes not her type, it annoys me because i respected her, i blocked the girl flirting with me, i removed people for shit talking her and kicked them, because i respect her, but i didnt feel i was getting respect back, and shed send pictures to me of chats and stuff that she said she wanted to do in order to help me etc, and Marc said why would you ask her to do that, its all annoying me really i dont know what to think
I cant get over her either, we are constantly toxic daily and stuff, tried to be friends constant issues etc the lot. I cant block her she cant block me because i unblock her and i love her so much still
submitted by Peterson95 to LDR [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 14:21 LueLinks402 LOONA - The 3rd Mini Album [12:00] Era Recap

Welcome to the LOONA [12:00] era recap, a thread that summarizes all of LOONA's content and achievements during the [12:00] promotional era. Check the Community Resources page for a listing of previous era recaps for [+ +], [X X], and [#].

[12:00] Tracklist & Album Details

Release Date: 201019
Stream on: Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music / MelOn
Track Lyrics by Composed by Arranged by
1. 12:00 --- Coach & Sendo Coach & Sendo
2. Why Not? Hwang Yubin Will Simms, Sondre Nystrom, Julia Finnseter, Ellen Berg Will Simms, Coach & Sendo
3. 목소리 (Voice) JQ, 혜수 (Hye-soo) (makeumine works) Jesse Saint John, Georgia Ku, Trackside Jesse Saint John, Georgia Ku, Trackside
4. 기억해 (Fall Again) 김연서 (Kim Yeon-seo) JINBYJIN, 김연서 (Kim Yeon-seo) JINBYJIN
5. Universe 조윤경 (Jo Yoon Kyung) Daniel Durn, Katrine Neya Klith Joergensen, Peter Wallevik Peter Wallevik
6. 숨바꼭질 (Hide & Seek) 문혜민 (Moon Hye-min) Paulos Solbø, Fredrik Raadal-Simonsen, Matilda Frommegård ROSII
7. OOPS! 김연서 (Kim Yeon-seo) Phat Fabe, Harry Sommerdahl, 김연서, Matilda Frommegård Bangers & Ca$h
8. Star (목소리 English Ver.) Jesse Saint John, Georgia Ku, Trackside Jesse Saint John, Georgia Ku, Trackside Jesse Saint John, Georgia Ku, Trackside
Album Details

Teasers

Video Teasers
Image Teasers

Music Videos

Why Not? - loonatheworld // 1theK // Vimeo
Release Date: 201019
Star - loonatheworld // 1theK // Vimeo
Release Date: 201118
Bonus MVs
A-FLOW - YOU ft. Choerry (Release Date: 201023)
Voice (Art Film) (Release Date: 201104)

Online Concerts

LOONA On Wave 'LOONATHEWORLD : Midnight Festival'
KCON:TACT Season 2

Music Show Performances

Extras and Behind the Scenes
MCountdown
SBS MTV The Show
MBC Music Show Champion

Other Performances / Dance Videos

LOONA TV

Playlist with all LOONA TV episodes in order

Variety Shows

MU:PLY 'B Side 2: LOONA'
Dingo Music Mafia Dance
308KPOP / Fanijeom24 Loona-Jeom ft. Vivi, Chuu, Olivia Hye
NADOL Idol Family & Idol Ground
tbs 'Fact iN Star'
1theK Originals 'The First Date♥' ft. Olivia Hye & Weeekly Jihan
Ykicky Studio 'Idol League' ft. Hyunjin, Choerry, Olivia Hye
TV Daily 'TD Assault' ft. Heejin, Hyunjin, Yeojin, Kim Lip, Go Won, Olivia Hye
Miscellaneous

V LIVE / Livestreams

JTBC Plus 'Interview Over Drinks' ft. Vivi, Jinsoul, Choerry, Yves, Olivia Hye
OSEN 'Star Road' LOONA

Interviews / Radio Shows

Promotional Videos

Fansigns

'Orbit Ring - Midnight' Video Call Fansign Roundup Threads (credit to u/bluebetaoddeye)
Due to reaching the max character limit, see my pinned comment below for the Sales and Achievements section.
submitted by LueLinks402 to LOONA [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 11:28 Temporary-Body 24 [m4f] from Utah slc, looking to chat, maybe more

I miss dating, this quarantine has made things complete shit and I wasn't having any luck with dating apps to begin with. So here I am at 3am wondering how I am going to make this work.
My relationship style is odd to the the least, I am polyamorous with my long term partnefiancé she has her own boyfriend who we live with (no I am not dating him). It's been fun and we are all chill but I am ready to start my own separate relationship and find another partner.
I am looking for someone to chat with, get intimate and carry great conversations, Eventually move to face timing, maybe online movies and more, and when covid settles down visit each other.
My hobbies are, drawing and painting, working out, singing, reading, video games, movies and coffee, I really love coffee.
submitted by Temporary-Body to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 04:47 Gurtrude22 Daily Challenges Update & The Issues Facing RDO & The Fan Base

I've held off posting this for some time, but with the latest news about the "Update" to daily challenges that NOBODY asked for I think today is the day. Hold onto your britches as it's a long one.
Firstly I love the game to bits, I think it has the potential to become something quite special. But the way Rockstar are currently handling everything is an absolute mockery. I know everything isn't exactly easy these days with Covid-19 but Jesus Christ. Red Dead Online came out of BETA in what, May 2019? It's now November 2020 and this is the crap the fan base is having to deal with? Rockstar are a huge AAA company that have made millions. Not some small indie team.
The previous part about being AAA is a good indication to the reason they're making the change to daily challenges. Let's face it, daily challenges are the only good consistent way of earning gold in the game. Rockstar likely figured this out by now and are forcing our hand as to apply a little more pressure towards the purchase of Gold Bar Packs. They already nerfed the Collector Role as they underestimated the ingenuity of the playerbase. If I'm honest daily challenges are about the only reason I log into the game at this point. With a current streak of over 365 days and a total earning of 1,145 hard earned Gold bars. I imagine there's many more like me who are the same as well. There simply isn't enough consistent updates to the game to keep me interested and motivated in actively playing past gold challenges. Especially with the state of public lobbies being riddled with either modders, bugs or griefers at times. There are modders who can prevent themselves from even being reported for God sake.
Hell we went around seven months along with in-game & social media clown protests without a single shred of news regarding a content update. Then Rockstar regurgitate up the lackluster Naturalist Role to try appease the masses. Many other games still sent out updates or even news in that huge timeframe.
The new Bounty Hunter expansion update coming out this Tuesday was announced in a small paragraph at the end of post regarding the separate sale of RDO. Meanwhile GTA Online thier cash cow, gets three in-game teases, and two separate teaser posts about a new island heist. You tell me what game they're more focused on. You'd think it'd be their most up to date game RDO, not a title they've milked for cash since it's first console generation in 2013.
I mean where are all the "Player requested features" that Rockstar previously mentioned about in a social club post? So far we had Mercy killing animals locked behind a role. Where are invite only or solo sessions, hell on PC there still isn't even a text chat system. Something that's a basic necessity for online games. Even if Rockstar actually gave in and give us invite only sessions they'd end up wittling it down and limiting role and stranger money making activities to public sessions. Because players just can't have money making schemes go smoothly. Cough Public lobby hacking & griefers Cough
Awhile back we previously had one measly post a day after a fairly major game breaking patch from Rockstar support acknowledging an issue and that they're "Looking into it" two days silence and they just rolled back to a previous patch for those suffering on console. There's still many bugs they haven't patched out to this day. But anything that disturbs their cash flow such as money glitches they'll hot fix right away though won't they.
Truth be told, talking about it and trying to bring up these issues with Rockstar will likely result in nothing. Since when have they actively spoken out or listened to the requests of the fan base. The fact that we previously had in-game clown protests is a clear sign of the issues at hand. That being said, I still think it's important we speak out about it.
We'll probably all be back to the dark ages of Rockstar doing what they always do, whatever benefits them and Take Two best and zero communication until they feel like it.
submitted by Gurtrude22 to RedDeadOnline [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 03:12 Nikki1190 30 [F4F] - MB, Canada/Anywhere - Looking for a long-term relationship

Hello!
I'm nikki or niks, whichever you prefer, and I'm looking for my person. I'm currently a childcare assistant at a nearby daycare with very inconsistent hours and feeling overworked during these times. I'm looking to change that, aiming to go back to college full-time for Fall of 2021in Digital Media Design, specifically Web Design. I need a change of scenery and more stability in my work life.
I'm a quiet person in real life, and it translates into online interactions. So, don't mistake my short responses or delayed responses as a lack of interest. Sometimes, I easily make friends, but I keep my closest friends in small numbers. I want to create strong connections that last long-term.
I'm a monogamous person, identifying as a lesbian, but one would not be wrong to call me bi. My emotional/romantic connections are always with women. I want to be able to share my interests and hobbies with someone; my love for music, anime, gaming, writing, crafts, worldviews, etc. I'm also a big advocate for mental health because... I have my share of diagnoses and I want to break the stigma surrounding mental health.
I like to take care of people, but now I'd like someone to take care of me-- it's a two-way street. I've always seen myself as empathetic, reliable, and committed. Hopefully, I meet someone who shares those qualities. I'm a bit of a softie for those older than me, and age doesn't feel like a barrier.
I've done the whole dating app thing, but it's just tiring swiping and hunting for someone in that manner. I like doing things in this way because at least you know someone is interested in more than your picture and a micro-bio.
If I'm interesting to you in any way, feel free to message me! My inbox and chat are open!
submitted by Nikki1190 to lesbianr4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 01:06 blue_eyed_soul 33 [M4F] Canada / international - Do you have a 'thing' for white guys?!

Yes! I know this is totally a problematic question to ask - but here we are on reddit and i'm asking it anyways! And besides - I know these types of girls exist, and, even more so - you opened this post!
So even if it's not something you'll admit openly, I still think it's positive to get to talk about it out in the open in a place like this!
And it's one thing to type it out but maybe it turns out i'm just your type!
As for myself i'm your fairly typical Canadian living right smack in the middle of a metropolitan city. My biggest hobbies are making music with my friends and heading out to local shows and concerts, soaking up the culture and meeting people. I'm also really into museums and galleries and vibing on that city experience.
but let's be real I haven't been doing a lot of that these days! These days i've been spending a lot more time in the kitchen exploring new recipes and love learning new ones! this yes I took a crack at Bahn Mi, Mapo Tofu and Jollof rice - and i've been ordering a lot of jerk chicken :D
TL:DR
I like meeting people with different lived experiences and think it's positive to connect over difference - whether you're one block over or half way around the world!
I am a 6 foot tall lanky urban white dude. Broad shoulders, blue eyes.
Looking for a girl for Online chats and flirts with possible lowkey hangouts, coffee and beer dates and occasional gallery visits.
My likes: Performing, music, weird movies, Blanket forts, exotic food, looking at bugs and birds and other pretty animals.
My skills: Cooking, canoodling, bikes with no hand, excellent smoocher. Cartoon voices. Silly jokes.
submitted by blue_eyed_soul to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 00:36 PhDisappointment0 Hypersexual and ashamed of my desires/behavior

(Warning that this post describes some extremely messed up thoughts, including racial ones, that I struggle with post-rape. I try to be as vague as I can. Also, I am not interested in recounting my rape, or chatting with men irl or online.)
Before I was raped, I had had numerous loving, sexually satisfying relationships. After my attack, it took me about a year and a half before I could even consider dating. Thanks to extensive therapy, I feel like I’m as healed as I’m going to be. I consider myself quite lucky. I can work, make friends, and generally navigate the world. But in anything related to sex, I’m still really struggling.
I have a boyfriend, and we’ve only been together for about three months. He’s cute, funny, caring, and extremely kind and decent. He’s like the kind of guys I would date before, and he’s probably the most decent man I know. I care about him deeply.
The problem is that I have no sexual attraction to him, or guys like him, anymore. For the first six months after my rape, I experienced no sexual attraction or desire. I am only attracted to incredibly douchey, cocky, entitled, cruel men, typically white men (I’m blasian), whom I hate in every other context.
I have spoken with my boyfriend about role-playing, and being rougher during sex, and he’s good at it, but the knowledge that he’s role-playing for me, turns any interest off. Every time we try, it just does nothing for me.
All of the things I do that bring me sexual satisfaction horrify me, and my sex drive is now impossibly high.
I have been finding myself watching videos of frat bros hazing and saying racist things. I also watch porn clips of white men having very rough sex with black and Asian women. I also watch rape scenes from movies, especially where the rapist is white. A few months ago, after I had started dating my bf, I made a throwaway reddit account where I posted naked pictures of my body (no face) and inviting white men to humiliate me. Most of the guys who messaged me were honestly incredibly unattractive, but one was very fit and cocky and alpha and I was extremely drawn to him and we had a very toxic and demeaning weeklong exchange. He told me things that made me sob, but each time I felt such a deep attraction to him. I finally deleted my account, but I kept the screenshots and still like to look at them when I’m feeling weak.
Engaging in my desires brings short-term satisfaction, but makes me feel so ashamed and monstrous. If I could get rid of these feelings I would in a fraction of an instant. I’m just not sure what to do.
submitted by PhDisappointment0 to rape [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 23:15 QuailApocalypse Twice is Losing their Spark and need to go on a LONG Hiatus.

(Be warned this post is EXCESSIVELY long but I wanted to get all my thoughts out about Twice's issues with Freedom, Privacy, and Mental Health)
I love Twice. I have loved Twice since their debut. But Twice's music and the member's Health and Wellbeing have been going downhill and they need more than just a month-long break to fix this stuff. The past 3 comebacks are just disappearing from my memory unlike how Twice songs used to stick with everyone for months and years afterward but at this point, I can't even remember the lyrics to their recent songs in my head. Twice's members seem worn out completely and with members constantly being hated on and leaving due to mental health issues I feel like it would be best for them to just end their contracts and do things outside of Twice.
The past 2 years have been pretty shit for their group from Bullying, Sexual Harassment, and Stalking, Their personal information being leaked at least once a month and now members are suffering from injuries and anxiety causing them to be unable to even perform.
To start I want to address the fact that Twice has gotten so much more shit for their change of concept and certain members not being able to sing well, but this is an issue because JYP is writing songs for them while still trying to keep the same tone as their songs that got them known in the kpop world. He is writing songs that are good but having them sing these songs in the same high bubbly sound they have always done when it would be so much more beneficial for them to sing the same songs in a lower range or just idk IN THEIR OWN RANGE so it's able to be sung live for people to enjoy. This has been a huge part of why Twice's popularity has been declining to me because Twice has always lacked in the vocal department, but they've always found a way to work around that but with fans becoming more and more obsessed with live vocals and having each member have even line distribution it's causing more shit to come at them for members who aren't at the same level as others.
The biggest thing for me is the member's mental health and we have literally watched all of these girls go through hell these past 2 years due to so much bullshit that people have started. Members have gone through so much shit and I can't even write it all out at this point, so I'm just gonna run through the list of stuff I remember off the top of my head in Member Order.
Nayeon:
We all know about all the shit that has been happening to Nayeon for the past 2 years but a quick rundown of the situation is needed. Nayeon had and still has stalkers. The guy named Josh would send threatening letter messages and emails and stalk the JYPE buildings to try and harass her because he "loves" her. He was able to get onto an airplane with Twice and had to be forcefully moved from the girls because he continuously tried to get the girl's attention and get close to them. He threatened to murder Nayeon on Multiple occasions and fans, including myself, have those video files and have sent them to JYPE. He threatened to kill himself AND her if she didn't return his feelings and swore that any information not from Nayeon publically meant everyone was lying to him and corrupting her mind trying to take her from him and now because of this legal action was taken and if he even steps foot into Korea he will be arrested. That's the rundown on the first stalker. Oh did you think there was just 1? Nah there was also a group of people planning to ambush and Murder Nayeon and some other members. They had set up meeting places and were recruiting people to watch their vans when leaving their concerts and events to find out where they lived or where they would stay. I'm not sure we got an update on that situation but that's what I know of it.
Jeongyeon:
Jeongyeon has been one of the largest attention grabbers for fans in the past 2 years it's not because of her talent or visual or anything of the sort tho it is because fans believe that she is being mistreated by JYPE for not having lines or screentime. This started during Fancy era when she didn't receive as many lines as others did but fans thought that she was going to have a huge part in the song due to teasers and such causing Onces to attack JYPE. This has continued with each comeback since then. Jeongyeon has also had multiple injuries that she has needed medical treatment for in these past 2 years causing her to miss out on a few performances or have a handicap when performing in general. This situation worsened when the issue regarding her fancams exploded. Fans who were in every way wrong for this situation started bombarding companies and JYPE for Jeongyeons fancams not being posted on their channels. News sites exploded, people were blowing up their Instagram and trending it on Twitter it was an absolutely huge situation and after about a week of this nonsense, Jeongyeon came out and told fans that she had personally and specifically asked companies to not post these videos because she didn't feel confident or comfortable when performing those days due to an injury. This situation must have been extremely embarrassing for Jeongyeon who is employed by these people and her request caused people to attack these companies which goes back on her at the end of the day, which is an issue for her career. Then we move into the situation happening now, Jeongyeon no longer being able to be active during promotions and such because of her injuries and Anxiety which as a fan I'm just guessing but her anxiety seems to be a part of why she tried to keep companies from showing her fancams in the first place.
Momo:
This year hasn't been as bad for Momo as it has for other members but she has been talked about more than usual. Momo has always been criticized for her vocals but recently due to her lack of lines and for songs out of her vocal range whenever she does sing live her fancams go viral for their poor quality. She was called out multiple times during More & More promotions because her singing hasn't improved over the years and this song was in no way good for her singing voice. This combined with people finding out she is Dating Heechul made her seem more uncomfortable during award shows and encore stages since all of these things happened.
Sana:
Sana has always been the super happy and bubbly girl in the group and has stayed away from controversy the most in the past, but either in 2019 or early 2020 she was attacked by netizens over a post she made on the Twice Instagram page about the changing era in Japan she was saying she felt sad because the era she was born in was ending, but Knets made her comment seem political and spread false information of accusing her of supporting what the Japanese government did to Koreans in the past causing her MASSIVE backlash. Sana didn't smile at fans in public or promotions. She kept her head down the entire rest of the promotions and barely sang or danced full out. During public activities, the other members shielded her from fans and held her hands. There were more security and such during their events as well because people were threatening her life. This situation and the post are still up on Twice's public Instagram page. Sana was also very visibly affected by the incidences involving her fellow members as she can be seen consistently looking after them in public situations and trying to dispel issues or bringing up missing members during award shows to show them her support.
Jihyo:
Jihyo has been through a few situations this year. She has done her best to address these in the past 2 years, the first situation that I want to bring up is the fact that people decided to say that she was one of the girls sexually assaulted in The burning sun scandal. She addressed this issue vaguely in an interview saying that she was hurt because people were making up their own conclusions online and adding her name into that issue caused a lot of hate to go in her direction. We saw the direct aftermath of this when seeing the videos of her crying in the airport and hiding from cameras a day or 2 after the speculations arose. The next situation was when her relationship was outed by Dispatch. A lot of fans were really excited for her but many of her (now ex) boyfriends fans were talking so much shit about her looks and making sexual comments regarding her own body saying that he likes her because she has breasts and things of that nature, which was talked about more when she was seen at his house taking out the trash. Fans started a big issue because they said Daniel "the man" shouldn't be letting his girlfriend do manly work which furthered the sexual comments towards Him and Jihyo with fans making videos and posts describing what he and Jihyo were doing while alone together and saying she was the man in the relationship trying to belittle Daniel. This situation died down fast but was still prominent this year.
Mina:
Mina's situation is similar to both Nayeon's and Jeongyeon's situations regarding stalking and Anxiety but hers is more severe in both areas. Mina for multiple weeks was performing with multiple issues, she had an injury which caused her to be unable to perform full out on stages which Thrice used as a way to hate on her, Mina slowly over these weeks got worse and worse in regards to performing, she was unable to stand up straight and was seen getting somewhat dizzy when doing their routines, she wasn't able to keep up with the other members and would leave events early or not perform at all. After a few weeks of this behavior during their world tour, JYPE came out with a statement talking about her Anxiety and Injuries saying she would not participate for the rest of the tour. This situation shocked fans all over the world and Twice as a group was visibly broken by the situation and can be seen crying on stage during Mina's parts of their performances. Mina flew back to Japan and stayed with her family for multiple months. Mina was able to return after taking a break and slowly integrated back into Twice's routine and during this time fans learned of another incident regarding stalking which was part of the reasons for Mina's anxiety in public. The timeline on this situation is a bit mixed but fans learned of another situation with a stalker. This person was able to find Mina's family home address and visited her home while she was staying with them. The stalker claims to have rung the doorbell and when she answered the buzzer and he said who he was and that he was calling for her she hung up. The stalker claims to have then left a love letter in her mailbox before being detained by police and questions for 4 hours. Though he says that he is done with Mina after the incident he still knows VITAL information about her personal life that could easily put her in danger if released to the public. This even prompted Nayeons stalker Josh to publicly ask to chat with him about how he was able to get the information so he could do the same.
Dahyun:
Dahyun hasn't had any detrimental issues this year but one situation stands out among others. During their Tokyo tour stops while at the airport, personnel in charge of checking their passports fully tilted Dahyuns passport towards a wall of reporters and fansites with high tech cameras. It was so obvious that Dahyun herself reached out and covered her passport looking the woman in the face visibly upset but the damage had already been done and her information on her passport and a picture of the passport circulated on the web. JYPE had to put out a statement regarding the situation and even if the information inside the passport is not detrimental to Dahyun it is still a breach of privacy that was 100% avoidable
Chaeyoung:
Chaeyoung has gone through 1 big incident this year also regarding Mina and Nayeons stalkers. The situation started when Mina's stalker was able to find Chaeyoungs phone number and posted about it online after his incident with being detained and then from what we know from Josh himself he was able to contact this person and was able to get her number which he then posted on Twitter. Josh swears up and down that it was not meant to be malicious and that he thought fans would be nice to her. Chaeyoungs phone was then blown up during a Vlive stream and she took to Instagram and made a post calling Josh out for releasing her personal information online. The post is still up on Instagram. But Josh expressed anger at Chaeyoung telling her that he would never do it maliciously and she took it out of context when his actions were directed against her. JYPE also came out with a statement regarding this situation stating they would take legal action against anyone circulating this information. Since that incident, Chaeyoung has addressed multiple incidents every once in a while on Twice's Instagram talking about people spreading photos of her that were private or taking photos of her she didn't consent to during her free time. Those issues are ongoing.
Tzuyu:
In 2019 Tzuyu was doing charity work during her free time in Cambodia when fans figured out which hotel she was staying at. They hounded around her when she didn't have security and waiting in the hotel lobbies for her so they could take pictures with her. A group of fans leaked the information, and then they were seen watching the hotel for 2 days and then booking a room in the hotel and trying to watch and see which room she was in. One man was able to bribe hotel staff and took up a room next to hers which he proudly posted about online.
Honestly, I feel like a lot of the members of Twice don't seem happy or like they care at this point. Members look like they are afraid to perform 90% of the time and they aren't even progressing as artists anymore. Every member has such great potential which we can see in their personal projects but they don't look like they enjoy being idols anymore. Twice members have all expressed interest in projects outside of Twice and as much as I love Twice I would rather have them disband or go on an extended hiatus to do other things for a year or so while they can at least try and find something to be happy with. It's been mentioned a few times but some members truly look like they could not give any less of a shit about performing and they've been through enough to make anyone tired of this year on top of Corona ruining their normal ability to interacting with good fans. Idk if this is unpopular but Twice really has so much shit happening to them at once and I feel like an extended hiatus for them to do things not centered around Twice would make them really be able to figure out what they want to continue perusing as artists.
This post was way too freaking long but I feel like it was the easiest way to give examples of why I've come to the conclusion that If Twice goes on a short quick hiatus it's more likely that nothing will change about their situations and they may even come back to more work and issues due to JYPE trying to make up for the lost time. They need a good long hiatus from group activities to just relax or to find interest in other things. They have worked so hard for so long and have powered through all these things while promoting like 3 songs a year in Korea and Japan. I know they will lose fans and people won't want to wait but Twice need some time away from fans watching their every move even if it's with admiration. And from the Twice that I know even if they went on a hiatus they would still constantly update fans about themselves and a lot of us fans would be happy to see them be free for a time. Fans cannot expect them to take a short break and have everything feel fine right afterward. Twice needs real time to heal the issues they've been facing.
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submitted by QuailApocalypse to unpopularkpopopinions [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 21:01 Jcote12 (TH) My sister was a sociopath. Then she had surgery.

There was always something wrong with Annie. For years, it felt like I was the only one who knew.
When we were kids, we used to see our little cousins quite often. Our house, their house. My mom and aunt drank wine and bonded over having lost their husbands, my uncle in the grave and my dad, in jail. Annie and I were much older than the other kids, but I’d still hang out with them, just to be safe and keep an eye on my sister. If I left her alone with them, someone would wind up hurt. One time, she’d stuck a clothespin on their cat and watched it run circles around the room. She was twelve. Another time, she’d pressured our youngest cousin to drop that same cat out a third floor window, mocking him for not wanting to do it. “I can’t believe you’re actually scared,” I’d heard her say. By the time I got up there, my little cousin had let go. The cat was fine, thank god. But my cousin was not. He was traumatized, screaming and crying behind his bedroom door. Annie told Mom that she was really sorry and that she’d learned in school that cats could survive such falls. It was all bullshit, Annie had never felt sorry a day in her life. But Mom ate it up every time, because Annie was her special little girl.
After Dad went away, our grandfather came over a lot to help Mom out. Her dad, as we hardly knew my father’s parents. I was very close with my Papa. He was probably the person I looked up to most. The man was never in a bad mood. At least if he was, he never showed it. He brought something to that house that had long been missing. Music, dancing, laughter. He’d teach me things my dad never did, like how to ride a bike, or tie a tie. Or, when Mom wasn’t home, how to use the power tools Dad left dusty in the basement. It didn’t matter what we did. There was comfort in simply having him there, waking up every day to find him already sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper, only to drop it straight away so he could cook me something for breakfast. Papa loved watching me eat, almost as much as he loved telling stories. He’d given me this small military medal once and told me about how he’d almost died earning it. Said he wasn’t much older than me when he got it. It didn’t feel right to keep it, but he was happy to pass it down, and even happier when he saw it pinned to my backpack the next day.
“Now you can take me with you when I’m in the ground,” he laughed. He joked, but he knew. Knew that I’d need his guidance even in death. Papa may have been a jolly, old Italian man, but he was sharper than he looked. He knew something was very wrong with his granddaughter, and knew that once he was gone, things were only going to get harder for all of us. Annie did nothing to hide her contempt for the relationship I had with Papa. She’d always looked on with a scowl. When Papa passed, she’d come into my room with bright eyes and said, “Are you sad Papa’s dead?” I screamed and told Mom but Annie pretended to be an ignorant child, and my mother was in no place to deal with it. During the services, Annie watched me like entertainment. I tried my hardest to hold everything in, to not give her any satisfaction. And though it did simmer her attention, it only heightened everyone else’s. People were apparently asking my mother what was wrong with me. The fact that I was looked upon with such scrutiny while Annie went unnoticed drove me insane, especially since the loss of my grandfather hurt me more than anything. And when his medal fell off my backpack the following week, it crushed me further. I came home from school in tears, totally inconsolable despite my mother’s attempts. Annie just sat there, looking amused. “Who’s gonna watch over you now?” she’d asked. I shoved her hard and Mom grounded me.
I thought about killing her that night.
The affect Annie had on me extended even beyond her reach. There was this ever-present mistrust in my mind, this cancerous red-flag that always waved. I’d spent my whole life watching my sister pretend to be something she’s not, to the point that even the most innocuously feigned interaction turned me off. Like when a cashier asks you how you are doing and you say ‘Good’ and ask them back. But you don’t care. They don’t care. I worried that this was true for everyone, always. So I kept to myself and never made very many friends.
Annie’s reign of terror continued on into high school. I got to spend one year there without her and it was the best year of my life. I actually couldn’t wait to go to school. Then she was a freshman, and I was back to spending afternoons in the counselor’s office. I never said much, and so Mr. Wyle treated me like every other anxiety-ridden student, offering me numerous breaks and check-ins. I didn’t know how to tell him that I was terrified of my fourteen year-old little sister, the sweet young girl that everyone was just now meeting. It hadn’t taken her long to adapt to her new environment. She threw on that sheep’s clothing and did what she does best: hide, and hurt. She was smart about it, much smarter than when she was a kid. It was always just painful enough to scar her victims, but simple enough to be overlooked by the rest of us. She’d date boys and break their hearts, just to take them back and break up all over again. It looked like casual teenage drama, but I knew she was doing it for fun. She’d toe the line with her male teachers, keep her best friend feeling like shit about herself, and tell her other friends that I was abusive toward her. I fucking hated it, and hated more so the fact that I had to let her get away with it. If I pushed, she’d push harder. I had to keep myself out of her mind.
Still, the thought of that stupid smirk as she soaked in the pain she’d caused made me see red.
Then I met Ms. Harden, the school’s new counselor. She’d seen how often I visited the reset-room in the past and wanted to get to know me. I wasn’t so receptive at first, but Harden never gave up on me. For weeks, I’d meet with her and in time I’d opened up. She seemed different. She didn’t talk to me from any position of authority, or with condescension. It felt like the person she was inside that room was the same person outside of it, which meant more to me than she knew. My red flags went down, as they rarely had. So when she asked me one day what I was afraid of, I told her everything. Harden was intrigued, so I kept going. It all came spilling out of me and I couldn’t stop. The release gave me relief I had never felt before.
Until Annie confronted me at my locker. “What did you say to her?” Harden had asked to meet with her, and she was livid. I couldn’t look her in the eye, my five-foot freshman of a little sister, so I dug around my locker like I was looking for something.
“Nothing,” I replied. I continued rummaging in hopes that she’d go away, or that somebody else would come talk to us. But nobody around us paid us any mind. Hell, it might have even looked like a sweet moment between brother and sister. Then Annie slammed the locker onto my hand. I howled and cursed loud enough to freeze the entire corridor. Teachers came running out of their classrooms as students buzzed with confusion, while those closer to me gasped and cried for help. I slid down to the floor and crunched into a tight ball, holding my hand to my chest, afraid to look at it. Annie had already disappeared.
I was lucky to have escaped with no worse than a bruise on the top of my hand. It hurt to make a fist, but it was better than a severed finger. Of course, Annie got in trouble with the school, and Mom. But what seemed to have bothered her most was the unraveling of the character she’d played for everyone. People were now talking, noticing things she never wanted them to notice, seeing her in a light she’d never wanted cast upon her. One of the upperclassmen called her a “little ginger snap”, and it caught on. She fucking hated that. And it was only going to get worse. Harden was now looking to meet with Annie regularly, and Annie would soon discover that her usual tricks were no match for a trained professional. Someone was finally seeing through the feigned innocence, the tales of grandeur, the timely sob stories. Thus began the chess match. When Annie skipped on her meeting with Harden, Harden called home. When Mom scheduled a joint meeting, Annie ate soap in the bathroom and made herself throw up. I was curious to see how long this battle would last, you just couldn’t underestimate how far Annie was willing to go. But I think she was smart enough to realize that any further resistance was just further evidence against her. I reveled in her misery the day she finally gave in. It wasn’t long before Harden suggested my mother take Annie to a psychologist. She explained to her how her daughter showed worrying signs of an anti-social personality. As ignorant and naïve as my mother had always been, it was now undeniable: Annie was a real life, near-diagnosable, manipulative little sociopath.
Poor Mom was beside herself. She cried and cried while pacing the kitchen with a cigarette in her shaking hand. She was at a loss, so she did exactly what was recommended of her. Annie was to be seeing the psychologist every week. Sometimes, Mom and I would join her. I had to hold in my excitement over seeing Annie so uncomfortably vulnerable, the way she’d always made everyone else feel. She’d stare daggers at me during the sessions. I’d try my best to appear neutral, to be like her and not show any emotion or fear whatsoever, but it wasn’t easy, not even after the fake apology she gave me. She spoke no truth in those sessions. Blamed her behavior on the absence of our father. Mom and the doctor deemed it progress, but not me. And Annie knew. Every time we got home, she’d shoot me this piercing glance before locking herself away in her room for the night, and only then could I finally breathe, though not for very long. I’d started sleeping with a damn knife under my pillow, just in case. If I started to feel ridiculous for doing so, I’d remind myself not to underestimate how far this girl was willing to go to get what she wanted. And right now, it felt like she wanted me dead.
A few weeks passed. It was hard to tell if the behavior therapy was having any real affect on Annie. The psychologist assured my mother to give it more time, but Mom was hysterical and impatient. So she did the worst thing anyone could do: she went online. She was up all night reading whatever bullshit she could find. From dietary treatment of personality disorders (“Buy our special product!”), to early signs that your child is a serial killer. It was fucking crazy, and it made my mother even crazier. That was when she found Dr. McKinnon. He ran some small, private practice down in Boston, a few hours south of us. His website touted him as an expert in psychology, with particular emphasis on treatment of personality disorders. There was also a link to a news article about the work he’d done with the FBI in catching the Bear River Killer, who he’d gone on to establish a relationship with in order to write the book he’d made sure to advertise on the website. Mom wrote to Dr. McKinnon, and he responded almost immediately, promising that he could help with our situation. This man claimed to have invented a device that could alter the pathways in Annie’s brain that made her the way she was, and rewire them to function normally. For a hefty fee, of course. Crazed and desperate, Mom didn’t hesitate. Drove down that weekend, signed every waver they threw at her, and scheduled surgery for the day after school broke for the summer, just six weeks out. Even booked a hotel room for the few days Annie would be spending in recovery. I thought she was out of her mind for this, and even more so for believing Annie would just allow it to happen. They’d had a blowout when Mom told her what she’d done.
“Why would you do this to me?” Annie kept saying. “You think there’s something wrong with me?”
“Yes, Annie! Yes!”
It hurt my mother to say this, and hurt even more when Annie said, “You raised me. I’m your daughter.” She knew this was the very thing that would hurt Mom the most.
“I didn’t raise you to act like this!” Mom shouted, tears in her eyes.
Annie ignored her. “I wanna go to another school.”
“What? Why? What’s wrong with your school?”
“Everyone thinks I’m crazy. Send me to St. John’s.”
Mom huffed. “I don’t have the money for that, Annie!”
“Cancel the surgery.”
“It’s either the surgery or I’ll have you committed,” Mom snapped. “Which one?”
That shut Annie up faster than I’d ever seen, and off she went to her room. When she was gone, Mom released the sob she’d been holding in as I awkwardly sat across the room, having just witnessed the whole thing. I felt bad, but was glad to see her stand her ground. Although I half expected Annie to run away that night. Or worse. Ended up barricading my bedroom door and kept a grip around the knife under my pillow as I slept.
But the days passed without incident. Annie went to school, walked home, did homework, ate dinner, went to bed. It was unnerving, and I told Harden as much. I’d been seeing her more frequently as the end of the school year drew nearer. Harden, of course, couldn’t talk to me about her sessions with Annie, but she did indulge me on the topic. I went off about how Annie was a monster, and how the world would be better off without her in it. I was surprised when Harden stopped me and explained that I’d had my sister all wrong. How I’d vilified her for so long that I’d stopped seeing her as a person. This frustrated me.
“I’m not telling you that you’re wrong to feel the way you feel about her,” she reassured me. “What I am telling you is that you should try to understand who she really is. Right now, you see her as this…tornado. Just traveling along from town to town, destroying everything in her path for no reason. But I promise you, there is a reason for everything your sister does.”
“Like what?” I muttered.
“Well. Control, mainly. It’s what caused her to act out,” she emphasized with a wave of her hand. I could feel mine throb. “Annie needs to be in control of not just her own life, but everyone in it. And now, maybe for the first time ever, she’s losing a lot of that control. Anything can happen, and that scares her.”
I rejected this. “That’s true for all of us, and most people don’t do what she does.”
Harden gave a nod. “We’re all trying to figure out how to navigate through life. Your sister included. Not all of us were given the proper tools to do so.”
I thought about that for a moment. “Did something happen to her?” I pressed. Harden stared at me sadly, silently declining to answer. “Well what does she want then?”
Harden shrugged. “These are thing you have to ask her. I think you two are long overdue for a conversation. You should really consider doing that soon. Especially if this surgery you mentioned does what it’s supposed to do,” she added with a hint of sarcasm.
I wasn’t sure I was ready for that conversation. If there was more to Annie, I had definitely never seen it. But I knew Harden was right. I was tired of being afraid of her. Of avoiding her in the halls, and at home. Tired of my entire life feeling like it revolved around her. I just wanted to live a normal life. With friends, girlfriends, birthdays, family parties, sleep. I felt like I couldn’t have any of that.
As we reached the last day of school, and the eve of Annie’s surgery, I’d reached the point where I could no longer put off the conversation I was supposed to have with her. I knocked on her door after an uncomfortably silent dinner.
“What?” she muttered.
There was a lump in my throat. “Can I come in?” I had to ask twice because it had barely come out the first time. She opened her door just enough for her body to squeeze through. “What?” she repeated.
“Can we talk?”
She paused, then moved out of the way, allowing me to enter. I’d only been in her room a handful of times since we were kids. It looked exactly the same now as it did back then. The walls were still pink, her old dolls still sitting high on the shelf, and her closet doorframe still had our childhood heights etched into the wood, something Papa used to do with us each time he’d visit. From here, Annie looked like a normal girl. I stood close to her door as she dropped herself onto the bed and looked up at me curiously. I was sweating. My hand, pulsating. I heaved a heavy sigh and decided the best way to do this was to just come right out with what I wanted to say.
“I want to understand you better.”
She didn’t blink. “I don’t think you do.”
“I do. I want to know what it’s like to be you. What goes on in your head. What you’re thinking. Why you do the things you do.”
“I don’t know,” she explained.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“Because I don’t understand myself either,” she said with more force. “You treat me like I’m an experiment, and I don’t appreciate it.”
“Annie, you’re about to get a fucking chip put into your brain,” I said shakily. She shook her head, and so did I. Talking to her could sometimes make you feel like you were the one who was crazy.
I continued. “You know you hurt people. I know you know that. Do you ever feel bad about it?”
“Of course I do,” she said.
It was clear I wasn’t going to get any truth out of her. “I don’t think you do. I think you hate people. I think you hate yourself. That you’re different. So you hurt people. Am I wrong? Do you even love Mom? Or me? Or do you hate us too?”
She looked at me like I was missing something obvious. She got up off the bed and approached me, stopping just a foot away.
“I don’t ‘anything’ you. I don’t ‘anything’ anyone.”
It was probably the most honest thing she’d ever said to me. In the moment, it made my skin crawl. It wasn’t until later that I realized how sad of an admission this was.
———
When Mom and Annie left for Boston early that Friday morning, I’d said nothing to her. Despite my doubts in Dr. McKinnon’s device, part of me was still hoping to receive a brand new Annie. With summer vacation now started and the house to myself for the weekend, I’d slept most of my time away, as though catching up on all the sleep lost throughout my life. I had no idea what to do with myself when I was awake. I’d watch TV, pace, eat, lie on the floor. By weekend’s end, I’d become so bored and anxious that I did something unexpected: I went into Annie’s room. Sat right on her bed where some clothes had been left strewn, nervous that she’d somehow figure out I’d been in there. I thought again about who exactly would be walking through the door when they got back the following morning. It kept me up that night. After a few short hours of sleep, I woke early, made coffee (that I don’t even drink), paced some more, and then waited in the same seat my Papa always sat in, staring at the front door as I mentally prepared myself for its opening. By that point, my mind had already been left to wander too far from reality. I’d imagined Annie bursting through to give me a hug and tell me through sobs that she was sorry for everything she’d done. It had occurred to me in that moment that we’d never actually hugged before, not that I could remember. When the daydream ended, I hated myself for letting her manipulate me when she wasn’t even around.
I heard car doors slam shut. My stomach sank. A few moments later, the front door opened and they entered as casually as if they’d run to the store.
“Oh hi, hun,” Mom beamed. “Didn’t expect to see you there.” She dropped her bags to give me a hug and kiss, and then added, “Annie, come say hi to your brother.” I wanted to puke. I could hardly bring myself to look at her. She was still standing by the door, looking bashful.
“Hi,” she mustered. She was rubbing up and down her arm, looking more uncomfortable than I was.
“Hi,” I replied. I finally looked her in the eyes. They looked different. A small patch of her head had been shaved, and I could see the end of the stitches running down her scalp to the edge of her forehead.
Mom sighed at our silence and started rummaging through kitchen cabinets. “Well, I know it’s lunch time, but I’m making breakfast. Anyone hungry?”
“Can I go take a shower, Mom?” Annie wondered.
“Of course, baby. Just be careful, you can’t wet your head yet, okay?” Annie nodded and quietly disappeared upstairs. Mom waited until she was long gone and then hovered beside me as bacon sizzled on the stove. “They said it could take a while to kick in,” she whispered excitedly. “But I think it’s already working!”
I remained silent as she continued with the eggs and bacon. “Where’s that knife?” she suddenly exclaimed, staring at the wooden block on the counter. The biggest slot was still empty. I wasn’t planning on putting it back just yet; despite my mother’s optimism, I was going to need to see a lot more.
I wouldn’t see much in the weeks following. Annie spent most of the time asleep, an expected side-effect. She was pleasant but quiet at dinner, uttering ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ but not much else. I’d been trying to enjoy summer break as much as I could, shooting pucks out in the driveway, riding my bike around neighboring towns, and even saw a movie with my friend from school. My deal with Mom was that I’d stay home during the day while she was at work, in case Annie needed anything. I wasn’t thrilled about being left alone with her, but I hardly saw much of her at first. Just a couple quick greetings in the hallway, nothing more. Mom was frequently calling to check in but there hadn’t been any issues. Until I shot awake to the booming sound of things crashing against the walls. I ran out into the hall and stood outside Annie’s door, listening as more things got slammed on the other side. She was throwing an absolute tantrum. I was about to enter but thought better of it. Then, as soon as it had begun, it was over. Silence. When I called Mom to tell her what happened, she told me that these kind of outbursts were expected. ‘Emotional fallout’, Dr. McKinnon had told her. I wish someone had told me.
Going forward, I was hyper vigilant. Thought I’d heard Annie through the walls one day, talking to herself. I pressed my ear against it but struggled to make anything out. This would happen again and again, day after day, this very faint whisper among the sound of gasps and coughs. And each day it got louder. So I stood outside her door again, lost in the white noise of the fans and air conditioners buzzing in the distance, Annie’s mumbling creeping from under her door. I wanted nothing to do with her, and yet I was curious. So I knocked. There was a pause.
“Come in,” her little voice called. She was wrapped in her sheets, in the dead summer heat, with only her face poking out. “Hi,” she whispered as I stepped in. I stood right by the door, just as I had the last time she let me in.
“Are you okay?” I asked half-heartedly.
Her face immediately scrunched up in a way I’d never seen it. “No,” she squealed as she shook her head and started to cry. I tried not to show how good it made me feel, to see her suffer. She got louder, so I approached the bed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I stood awkwardly over her.
“I don’t like this!” she choked through sobs and sniffles. “I don’t like it… I don’t like it…”
She reached for my hand and kept repeating herself. I was stunned. “It’s okay,” I said, but didn’t really mean. As I sat there holding her hand for a while, uttering fake assurances, not really caring, I wondered if the way I felt in that moment was the way she’d always felt. If so, I didn’t envy her.
Later that night, it was Annie who knocked on my door. She slipped in like a cat, crawling up onto my bed and sitting there with her legs crossed. It was fairly muggy but she was still in a hoodie and sweatpants.
“Sorry about earlier,” she said.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. I know you hate me. You don’t have to act like you don’t. I just wanted to tell you that you were right. I hate myself, too. And I was jealous of everyone. You asked what it was like to be me,” she began. My ears perked. “It’s like…being a ghost. Floating around. Lost. You don’t remember who you are or what it was like to be alive. You just exist. And nobody even knows you’re there. And when they do see you, they get scared. They don’t want you around. So you stay in the background and watch everyone live their lives. It’s not fair. So you mess with them. For attention. Because you’re bored. Beyond bored. Because for just one second, their screams make you feel like you’re real. You chase that feeling.”
I was blown away, unsure how to respond. I just sat up against my headboard in awe. The knife under my pillow was showing for a second before I shuffled to cover it. “Wow. I wish you could’ve told me that a long time ago. But I don’t hate you, Annie. I’m afraid of you.”
This hit her in the gut. She wrinkled her face and I worried she was going to cry again. Instead, she took a deep breath and smiled, like a switch had been flipped. “Can I throw you a birthday party?” she suddenly blurted.
I was confused. “My birthday’s in two months.”
“I know but…can I do it anyway? I want to do something nice for you. Please?”
I had no idea what to think of this, or of her. But she was staring at me wide-eyed and hopeful. “Okay,” I said, annoyed. She clapped her hands and thanked me with a giant grin on her face.
Later that afternoon, Mom took Annie shopping for decorations and a cake, which felt ridiculous to me. When they returned, they kicked me out of the house for a while so they decorate. I took a long walk around the neighborhood, even stopped at a park to watch a little league baseball game. I’d never played before and was kind of wishing I had. When I got home, I was amazed at what the girls had done. The entire kitchen and living room were lit in a multicolored glow, with lava lamps, strobe lights, and glow sticks all around the room. There was a “Happy Birthday” sign hanging on the center wall, and on the table below was my cake, chocolate with vanilla frosting, already lit with a number sixteen candle. They started singing, and then laughing at how stupid this all was. Annie couldn’t stop. She laughed so hard it almost made her look crazy. Though I wanted no part of this, I put on a face, for my mother. For the first time in our lives, we were going to have a good night together, and I wanted to give her that. We had some awkward chit chat, and even more awkward reminiscing, as Mom told stories of past birthday parties. She’d left out the parts where Annie had found ways to ruin them.
After having cake, Annie ran up to her room real quick and came back down with a small present, wrapped and topped with a bow, handing it to me without a word. It surprised me, but not nearly as much as what was inside. In the little box was a very familiar pin. Papa’s medal. All those years I thought I had lost it, and she fucking took it. I was overcome with a range of emotion and wasn’t sure which was going to come out. The look on my mother’s face said it all, as she was silently begging me not to react negatively. Annie was waiting tentatively. Part of me was ready to yell at her, but when I took the pin out and held it in my hand, the rage went away. I was just so happy to have it. I gave her my best thanks, and she lunged forward, wrapping her arms around me in this long, quiet embrace. Mom watched on with her hands covering the wave of emotion that had hit her. When we settled, we ate more cake and finished the night playing some inappropriate game Annie had convinced Mom to buy. I couldn’t take my eye off my sister. I wanted to catch her in an unsuspecting moment, just to see if the mask would show itself. When her attitude suddenly shifted to a somber state, I couldn’t tell if it was due to my watchful eye or if it was just another instance of emotional fallout.
I’d heard Annie again that night, quietly crying herself to sleep. In fact, I’d been hearing it almost every night. It was becoming less enjoyable. I thought about how if any of this was real then it meant she’d been in a lot of pain for quite some time now. When I realized I was starting to feel bad, I caught myself. I couldn’t let her fool me. And she wasn’t going to give up trying. She’d asked me what else she could do to fix our relationship, and I admitted to her that, even if her surgery had worked, it was hard for me to separate who she was now from who she was before. She understood. The very next day, she dyed blonde streaks into her hair.
As the summer wound down, I hung out with her a little more. Movies on the couch, midnight conversations in our rooms. I tried to limit it. But she was like a puppy, following me around for attention. For all the questions I used to have for her, she’d had that many more for me. Simple things, like my favorite food, or who I’d had a crush on. She even joked about how she’d probably once known this information but didn’t care enough to remember it. I was starting to get tired of playing along. So I put her on the spot and asked about the nightly crying. She seemed hesitant at first but then explained that she can never fall asleep anymore because images of all the pain she’s caused keep her up at night. She said every time she thought she’d remembered everything, something new would pop up. I nearly rolled my eyes. But that small sliver of hope in the back of my mind made me tell her that if it were ever truly bad enough, she could just knock on the wall three times and I’d come to her room and sit with her. She thanked me with another long hug, and I’d hoped to not deal with it any time soon.
She knocked that very night.
On the final week of the summer, my one friend invited me to go to his family’s lake house. Mom wasn’t sure she wanted to leave Annie home alone yet, but both Annie and I assured her she was fine by this point. I guilted Mom over how I’d hardly done anything that summer, and that worked. I was gone for five days of jet skis, hot dogs, and fireworks. I’d told my friend everything that had happened that summer, probably more than I should have. “I should’ve invited her too,” he’d joked. I told him if he had, he’d probably have “accidentally drowned” by now.
When the week ended, they dropped me back home. It was mid-day and Mom would’ve already been at work. I couldn’t imagine how often she’d checked in on Annie. But when I got inside, she was nowhere to be found. I called out, but nothing. I checked upstairs, even opened her door to see if she was asleep. Still nothing. Then I heard this strange buzzing sound coming from downstairs. I followed it to the basement door. It was locked. I banged on it and called Annie’s name. The buzzing continued. Then I heard this painful, horrific scream. I started punching the door repeatedly, shouting. I didn’t know what to do. I kicked the doorknob, over and over until the door cracked at the hinge. When I got it open, I skipped down the stairs and rounded the corner to see Annie with her head on dad’s workbench. She was holding one of the power drills, with the drill inside her head where the scar had been unstitched, right above where the chip had been placed inside her skull. Blood was spattered everywhere.
“I want to go back!” she shrieked. “I want to go back!”
———
Annie was rushed to the hospital, where she stayed for a while. She hadn’t punctured too far, but they wanted to keep an eye on her. When she was released, Mom brought her right back to Dr. McKinnon, who was in awe over what his patient had done. He almost seemed proud as he tried to spin the incident as good news, that at least the device was clearly working. Mom wasn’t so thrilled. She was hoping for a way to lessen its affects on her poor daughter, to which he could only offer medication. Much like her previous doctor had said, McKinnon explained that Annie needed more time. That she wasn’t just learning how to live with those around her, but with herself as well. He reminded us that she was feeling her entire life’s worth of guilt and shame, and said that the best thing we could do for her now was to help her heal. And maybe keep a closer watch in the meantime.
When we got home, Mom found Annie another therapist and transferred her to a new school. Annie was going to go to St. John’s Prep after all. Mom wanted to keep her as happy as possible and figured a fresh start was in order. This, in addition to the medication, calmed Annie down a bit as we got ready for the new school year. I hung out in her room with her through the final days of summer break, just to keep watch. I was told not to talk about the incident, but Annie was the one who brought it up. She’d suddenly asked me how I live with my remorse. I didn’t know how to answer that, it seemed like something for her new therapist. But I told her the best thing she could do was to learn from it. To just be better today than she was yesterday. It was corny and not nearly enough. But she thanked me anyway. Then she asked me if I loved her.
“Not yet,” I said honestly. “But I’d like to someday.” And I meant it.
She hugged me anyway and said, “I’d like that too.” She was happy enough to leave it at that.
On the morning of the first day of school, Mom and Annie were up and moving pretty early, which meant I, too, was awake. St. John’s started earlier than my high school, so they were ready to head out the door before I’d even had breakfast. Mom grabbed her keys off the table and kissed me as I crunched cereal. Annie was standing by the door in her new uniform.
“Don’t forget to lock the door, okay?” Mom said to me. “Have a good first day. Hey—the knife showed up!” She paused at the sight of it. I’d finally put it back into the block that morning.
“It was in the drawer,” I lied. Mom laughed it off and said bye. I looked up to wish Annie good luck but she’d already had her eye on me. I worried that she could tell I was lying, or that she’d seen the knife in my room that day. But she was smiling. She said bye, and the two of them walked out. In that moment, I was actually really happy for my sister, and for her new friends who’d have no idea who she used to be. None of that mattered anymore. Annie was a normal girl about to live a normal life. And I was going to live mine.
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2020.11.27 20:25 Joker_ERP [M4A] (A playing as F) Massive list of RP prompts (Rule 34, fandoms, Games, OC, Incest Ect.)

Hey there! Today I’ve got a massive list of rp ideas and have written out some starters along with some ideas to how I see the rp going. I’m open to change and ready to do other ideas too. So if you feel like you’ve got an idea I might be interested in feel free to talk to me about those: ).
As for my replies. I write in first person mainly and my reply length varies. I generally do anything from a few sentences to a paragraph or more and generally require my partner to do the same. Fair warning the less detail you reply with the less interested I’ll be in rping with you. (Not looking for a few words as a response)
I enjoy having a story to go along with the smut so it’s not just constant sex, some cute or action driven moments are fun as well. – Hand holding and cute dates are pleasant! I mainly do my rps on kik, discord or here. I also have an RP facebook account, so feel free to ask for my users for those! : )
My kinks and limits list might be a big read, but none are compulsory. I’m just here to have fun and hopefully meet some cool rp partners : )
Kinks: Harems (Doesn’t mean having to play all characters at once, just one by one is fine!), Incest, Outercourse (Which is stuff like titjobs, thigh jobs, grinding, hot dogging) Risky public spaces (Toilet stalls, changing booths. That kinda thing where people could get caught.) Facials, Freckles (Face and body). Big/nicely shaped bums (Especially if they jiggle). Creampies, Cum on tits/body, big cumshots, Thigh high socks. showewater sex (pools, shower, hot tubs ect.) Mutual desire for sex.
Limits: Pregnancy (Hard limit sorry), Vomit, Piss, Blood, Toilet stuff, Rape, Gangbangs (Unless it’s multiple females) Male on Male, futas, rimming/pegging.
There might be more that I’m forgetting so if you’re unsure feel free to ask me! The rougher side of sex like Name calling, slapping choking spanking I can all do as well! : ) Without further ado let’s jump into the starters!
Disclaimer: I am 18+ and all participants and characters must be 18+
Here's the basic list of ideas if you wanted to look them over before reading the full posts. I’m also open to some ideas that I may have missed! And please note: I’m looking for FEMALE characters only!
Rule 34/Fandom/Game Ideas: Idea 1: My Harem (Hero) Academia. Idea 2: Pokémon Idea 3: Naruto Idea 4: Bleach Idea 5: One piece. Idea 6: Sword Art Online. Idea 7: Fairy Tail. Idea 8: Avatar The Last Airbender. Idea 9: Persona (Girls from 4 and 5). Idea 10: Harry Potter. Idea 11: Final Fantasy. Idea 12: The Witcher 3.
OC Ideas: Idea 13: Fantasy harem adventure. Idea 14: Only Man of the town. Idea 15: Zombie and Nuclear Apocalypse. Idea 16: Sci-Fi space crew.
Incest Ideas: Idea 17: Brother sisteMother son (Or both). Idea 18: Aunt/Cousin. (Can be both) Idea 19: Incest family vacation.
Idea 1: My Harem (Hero) Academia.
(So my character will be a transfer into Class 1-A. His power is the power of persuasion. With the power he’s able to convince someone to do something as if it’s their own will. However, he’s hesitant to use it on other people and to tell everyone he even has it as he’s been outcast at his last school for the villainous nature of his quirk. As such he can’t use it to its full extent and can only issue small commands to begin with.
My idea with this is that one or more (cannon or non) of the girls decide to help him out in a private setting and overtime it gets more and more sexual in nature. And as he becomes more confident, he’s able to issue more longer-term commands. This can also be mixed in well with some story and some action to keep the plot interesting.)
Starter: It was a day which started like most others in Class 1-A. The students got ready in the dorms and headed to class to chat among themselves while they waited for Aizawa to enter. However, unlike most days there seemed to be an extra desk placed in the room. The seat caused some confusion which didn’t last long as the first bell rang and Aizawa entered the room.
“Morning everyone.” He stated in his mainly bored and sleepy tone which seemed to sound like he was stifling a yawn. “Today we’ve got a new student transferring in from another school. He’s from Shiketsu, some of you may recognize the name since it’s got the same level as prestige as U.A. but regardless make sure he feels welcome.” He said pointing a sweeping stare at everyone and finally resting on the problem child of the U.A class Bakugo.
With that he fell silent and I felt it was my cue to enter. Swallowing a little at the nerves I steeled them quickly and entered. My blue eyes sweeping over some of the familiar faces in the room. Many of the students had standout performances in the UA sports festival and as well in the news reports about the villain attack on the training camp.
I had a lot to live up to if I wanted to join these legends in training but regardless, I was determined to do just that. Breathing a little and shifting my auburn hair from my eyes I smiled the best I could. “My name is Schwarzer, Chris Schwarzer. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” I say bowing to the class.
Satisfied with the introduction Aizawa nodded to the spare seat in the room. Taking that as an order I nodded back and headed over to my seat sitting down and getting my books out. Curiously I turned to the seat next to me noticing one of the girls in the class and gave her a slight smile as Aizawa began his lesson.
Idea 2: Pokemon. (So this one is super simple. Some trainers or a trainer and his Pokémon go on a grand adventure. For this one my favourite Canon female are: Marnie, May, Hilda and May. And my favourite Anthro Pokémon are Lopunny, Arcanine, Blaiziken That’s just for reference though and you can really play whoever you like! Ocs are of course welcome too!)
Trainer x Trainer Starter:
I like many others in the world of Pokémon have just started on my journey. Although I had done so a little late. Regardless me and my starter Pokémon Aipom which was a gift from my late father. Setting off with excitement to make a name of myself.
That excitement wore off pretty quickly however as an advanced trainer stepped in my path and soon, I realized how big the gap between us was. He wiped the floor with my aipom and laughed as he took my “Prize money” Scooping up my aipom I rushed through the rest of the route and over to the next town ducking quickly into the Pokémon centre.
Looking around there was a few new trainers who seemed to have fallen to the same fate as I had and I shook my head. Guys like that were total assholes and without hesitating I headed over to the counter where the nurse took my Aipom from me. Once he was gone, I was told there was going to be a short wait due to the amount of Pokémon they had to treat. I nodded as I headed over and sat down in one of the seats.
Idea 3: Naruto. (So for this one I like the idea that my character is a nomadic mercenary hired by the leaf to help train the ninja of the village, maybe he also has some kind of hidden power that boosts his chakra but also increases his libido. Not too sure how I wanna go about this one.)
Starter: The Hokage Tsunade Senju looked over me with a curious gaze and then down to my application form. “You’re younger than I expected given everything you’ve done.” She stated honestly. “But the intelligence division did a thorough search into you and you check out.” She stated as she slammed the approved stamp down onto my paper.
“Just remember, if you do anything to endanger this village, I’ll snuff you out personally.” She said in an icy and threatening tone. Feeling a cold bead of sweat roll down the side of my face I nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of it.” I say. Internally I make a mental note not to cross her in any way.
“Good.” She said putting a smile across her features. “Your first group is down on the training field waiting for you already.” She stated. “Your lodgings will be set up by the time you’re done, here’s the key.” She said tossing the key to me which I caught and stuffed into my pocket. I was a little shocked with how quick she wanted me to get to work but I nodded. “Right!” I say giving a respectful bow before heading out.
It took me a little longer than expected to actually find the training grounds as I hadn’t ever been here before. And when I got there much to her credit there were a few ninja standing around. Approaching them I gave them a sheepish smile. “Sorry I’m late guys.” I called out. “I got lost.” I added on.
Idea 4: Bleach. (So a new human soul reaper makes it into the soul society. His power isn’t captain level to begin with simply being enough to take out the average hollow. And with the resurgence of the hollow threat the Soul Society has offered to give him a substitute badge to take out those hollows deemed too small for the soul society to handle. Maybe he’s paired up with someone or someone like Orihime steps in to help him grow.)
Starter: Another boring day at school followed by a night of boring patrols. With all the big hollows being taken care of by “Full-fledged” Soul reapers it didn’t leave me with much opportunity to train against bigger enemies.
At least that’s what I thought originally. A few blocks from me there was a rift which opened up and the pure spiritual pressure that came from the hollow that stepped out of it was enough to make me feel as though gravity itself was pushing against me.
It was hard to breathe and even harder to stand as my hand clutched my blade in my left hand tightly. I shook my head as I heard the loud roar of the large breast and could even see it’s towering form from my position.
It was nothing close to a menos, but it was enough to tower over a three-story building for sure. “Shit.” I hissed to myself as I knew there were no soul reapers around at this stage. With a threat this big I was sure they’d come, but until then it was up to me to buy some time and make sure no humans or souls were consumed.
Pushing myself forward I reached the park that the Hollow had appeared in. Thankfully the park was deserted at this time of night. When he saw me the hollow. “You don’t smell like much, but you’ll do as a snack.” The hollow commented as it charged forward. “Just evade, buy time.” I comment to myself as I began to leap around the battle field looking a bit like and feeling like an idiot.
The hollow toyed with me a little while enjoying the chase before it seemed to ger bored. Just when I was thinking I was fast enough to keep avoiding it the creature’s mouth opened and its forked tongue shot out at me with faster speed than I was anticipating I raised my blade to defend myself but it was a feeble attempt and I knew it wouldn’t be enough.
Idea 5: One Piece. (So I’m not quite sure how to approach this one, but I’ll give it a go. Much like the MHA starter my character will have the power of persuasion, having eaten the Persua-Persua fruit. I’m thinking either he joins the Strawhats and goes on their adventures or he makes his own crew with girls from the story, I’m gonna leave it fairly open ended so we can jump in whenever along the story we wanna go!)
Starter: Alone in a bar I sat staring in the amber liquid in my mug. I was down on my luck after having my whole crew and my ship destroyed in a long battle another pirate crew. The only reason I was able to live through the ordeal was due to my crew sacrificing themselves to give me a chance to escape.
I spent days adrift with little food and water and soon washed up upon the island I was in. Immediately I found a tavern ready to drown my sorrows and feel sorry for myself for a little while.
Letting out a sigh I downed the rest of my drink soon looking at the few drops of liquid bottom of my mug. I knew being a pirate wouldn’t be easy, I knew it’d be violent and end in violence. However, to lose in that fashion without even being able to use my devil fruit to calm or question our opponent and losing everything still took its toll on me.
Scratching at the growing stubble with one hand, the other I raised my mug to demand another drink and as such the bartender approached to fill my mug. “You’re looking a little rough there, you sure you need another?” The bartender asked as he took the mug from me. “I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t even know what else to do with myself.” I responded grumpily. “Just fill it up.” I demanded. “Right.” The bartender responded as he filled it with more of the alcoholic amber liquid and slid It in front of me.
Idea 6: Sword Art Online. (Fairly simple it’s SAO set in the original death game. I love the idea, so I’ve always loved rping this one. If you want to play canon characters my fave is for sure Lizbeth, but I’m open to OC characters!)
Starter: It’s been months since Akihiko Kayaba has trapped us into this death game. Or at least that’s how some people looked at it. Others saw it as their dream come true. But most if not, all wanted to push forward and beat the game.
Despite the desire to push forward little progress has been made. Guilds and parties have formed to push through dungeons but with the increased danger and with it more deaths; more and more people simply decided to live out their lives on the lower floors.
Unlike those rushing in to push through the content I was happy enough to go through it at my own pace. This place was like a dream for me, save for the fact I had an increased chance of dying I was able to live in this game without the worries of the outside world.
I was doing some late-night grinding in an area of dense forest. The sun had set and there was little light save for the bright moon poking through the trees. All was calm, the trees swayed with the wind and the occasional sound of creatures moving about was enough to calm me.
However, the deeper I got into the forest the louder a sound became. At first it was quiet but as I approached, I heard it more clearly. It sounded like steel clashing against steel. Someone was fighting. Moving from a casual walk into a jog I quickly came to a small clearing where I saw two figures fighting, although in the low light I couldn’t make it out until I got closer.
Idea 7: Fairy Tail. (it’s been a little while since I’ve seen the series, but I’ve always loved it! Given my time away I might have to take some time to refamiliarize myself with the magics. My character will simply be an entry level member into the guild to begin with, canon characters are welcome just as OCs are!)
Starter: Another day in magnolia and another party being held at the large guild building at the centre of town. A large-scale job had just finished with some of the senior ranking wizards. and even though I wasn’t part of that mission, instead being on my own D-Rank job I joined in on the celebrations.
I had only been part of the guild for a few days and so far, it’s not been as exciting as I’d hoped, although I figured that it’d pick up once I proved myself. I was drinking by myself when I was approached by Makarov. He was wearing an essentric looking orange outfit. “Schwarzer my boy!” He said as he patted me on the shoulder. “How are you fitting in?” He questioned. “Fine sir! Everyone has been very welcoming.” I say to him in response. “Glad to hear it! You’ve been doing a good job, although I’d like to see you do more.” The male said. “So I’ve arranged a partner for you on your next job, that way you can take something more challenging, what do you say?” He questioned.
“Yes of course!” I say eagerly as a smile spread across my face. “Great!” He said cheerfully. “I’ll introduce you to who you’ll be working with.” He said as he stood from his spot and lead the way over to a female clearing his throat loud enough to get their attention.
Idea 8: Avatar the Last Airbender. (So for this one I guess it can go two different ways. My fave girls from Avatar would probably be Ty Lee, Suki and Toph. Maybe my character is a powerful bender that either the fire nation or team Avatar wants on their side. I think it might be cool to think that Aang isn’t the only airbender and instead a small faction managed to escape and continue the lineage. Either that or my character is a powerful firebender of some kind. I’ll leave whichever you prefer to you in your first reply as I’ll leave it open ended.)
Starter: The world was at war ever since the Fire nation attacked. With the intense fighting came mercenaries. Freelance benders or soldiers ready to fight on either side. For a fee of course. And despite my age, being only eighteen I was quite renown amongst the other bounty hunters for my bending.
Of course, there were talks of the Avatar returning, having repelled an invasion in the south pole, the liberation of Omashu and then the fire nation prison. It seemed they were making quite the stir in the earth kingdom.
It’d only be a matter of time before they reached the small town, I was in. Perhaps they were already here. But if that was the case surely there would be some kind of stir. Pushing my hair from my face I ordered another drink from the barkeep. “You know you’re my favourite customer Schwarzer…. You’re the only one who consistently pays his tab. Unlike the rest of these soldiers or the workers around here.” The older man says in clear annoyance.
“Well who knows, if I wasn’t so successful, I’d probably mooch off you too.” I admitted with a grin. “Try not to talk too ill of the soldiers on either side.” I added on flicking him an extra coin for a tip once my drink was finished. “Well I better check if anyone has a job for me.” I say as I pushed myself up from my seat.
Idea 9: Persona. (So basically this is just gonna be a fairly interesting idea. My character along with the girls of persona 4 and 5 get stranded in this strange dimension where they have to fight their way out to make it back to their own worlds.)
Starter: It all happened so fast. One minute I was in a team meeting with my group discussing what we should use our newfound powers for next. And the next second, I had blinked and I was in some kind of strange room.
One by one more people were added into this room. Some of which were dressed in some elaborate costumes. And I frowned as I looked to each one of them, all of which I didn’t recognize at all and judging by their looks they didn’t recognize me. Although before we managed to introduce ourselves a booming voice broke the silence.
“Welcome all!” The clearly male voice commented. “To the room of my design.” He added on. “I’m sure you’re all confused. And no doubt you’ll want to return back to your homes. However, to do so you’ll need to enter my labyrinth. “Make it to the end and you’ll all return home.” The voice explained.
“Of course, this maze isn’t without its dangers. Enemies, much like you encounter on a regular basis will roam these halls. As well as beasts of my own design far stronger than those… Fear no though for every check point you reach this room will become more furnished with amenities. For now, you simply have beds to rest on.” He said as there was an audible click and the dark room was suddenly lit up. Sure, enough there were rows of beds all lined up one for each person to sleep on.
“When you’re ready to test yourselves step through this door and enter the first level of the labyrinth.” He declared as a large door appeared and opened up in front of them. For a while nobody said anything probably all too stunned to even process the information. “So, I’m guessing we’re all persona users given what he just said.” I spoke up. “I guess we should probably start with names and strengths, right?” I questioned the group. “I’m Chris Schwarzer.” I say. “My persona Serapth focuses on ranged combat.” I explained.
Idea 10: Harry Potter. (So to keep this one interesting I’m thinking of having it set in an AU where Voldemort and Harry don’t exist. However, there are still dark wizards who are part of a cult around. Defs looking for a Hermionie, Luna or Ginny, you could even have other celebs/ecelebs as teachers or students for this one! Ocs are of course welcome too!)
Starter: Another year at Hogwarts, the last for some; and another year of learning was right around the corner. Although times were not peaceful in the wizarding world. Aurors who were the police of the magical world were going missing or showing up dead.
The ministry not wanting to make a panic kept it fairly under wraps, however some of the families have come forward with the information and rumours abounded about what was really happening. Stepping off the train I sighed a little rubbing my temple where a headache had begun to set in. During the train ride here, I found myself stuck next to a boy who wouldn’t stop going on about the rumours and conspiracy theories.
Glad to be off the train I looked around for a minute lost as to where I needed to go. “I know it’s around here somewhere.” I commented, although my sense of direction was always off. Usually I followed everyone else. But this time it seemed I was one of the last ones off the train.
Idea 11: Final Fantasy. (So this is simply going to be an idea with no starter since it will probably change depending on the many FF universes. My favourite however is defs FF7. (Tifa, Jessie and Aerith are best girls) with follow-ups being 12, 13, 15, 10, 8 and 9. Basically a fight would take the Main character of those series, Cloud, Noct, ect out of commission and needing a leader the other characters step up and hire mine on. Similar to some of my other prompts but I never said I was creative :^) With that being said though if you ARE interested in this one let me know and we can work out details depending on what world we’re in!)
Idea 12: The Witcher 3. (So my character will be a Witcher. (wow!) Saving people, hunting things you know? The family business. Anyway, I’m gonna leave it super open ended for you to come in however you like! If you wanna play a canon character my top two are for sure Ciri and Trist, and OC characters are accepted too!)
Starter: A Werewolf, an odd and rare contract, although I figured it wouldn’t be a hard one. In face I figured with my silver blade that the creature would go down rather quickly. Starting the encounter, I was faced with a harsh reality due to my hubris. I started off well enough, however due to my carelessness I was quickly on the backfoot.
The beast roared as it swung its large clawed hand towards me. I had barely managed to roll out of the way of the attack. Probably due to the increasing levels of bloodless resulting in a careless action on my part. A level of confidence quickly pushed down by the fact a handful of open wounds stung at my flanks.
More scars for later given that I make it out of here, although with my silver blade thrown on the other side of the area leaving me with only a steel sword which barely even phases the thing. I had to reach my blade, although with my focus on dodging the attacks it was hard to find an opening to do so.
I raised a hand and cast the igni sign launching flames at the creature who leapt back and I tried my best to make it past the creature only to have to dodge another strike as the beast recovered remarkably fast. “Stubborn bastard, aren’t you?” I questioned a little sourly.
Idea 13: Fantasy harem adventure. (This one is fairly basic in nature. Basically, a young man with little combat experience leaves his poor hunting village once he’s of age and sets off to join the adventurer’s guild to make a name for himself and also to send money back home. He’s fairly modest, naive and kind hearted. Which makes him likable and easy to take advantage of.
We could add a story with war elements, racism and darker themes to show him that the world he idolizes isn’t as cracked up as he thought it’d be. Ideally, I’d like a full harem party for this one but I’m cool with one on one too.)
Starter: It had been a few days since I was finally able to leave the small village, I was raised in behind me. Sword on hip and keen to become an adventurer. Of course, I also wanted to make a name for myself and I was even more excited to see everything the world had to offer. With driving me forward I headed from my village over to the closest city which had a guild branch. A city called Ruan. It was nearly five times the size of my village if not more and yet it was nothing close to the capital city of Grancel.
Smooth dirt paths soon gave way to cobblestone and my boots clacked rhythmically against the pavement as my steps soon got faster and faster as Ruan came into view. My stomach was in knots as I gripped the straps on my bag tightly and after steeling my nerves and taking in the sight of the large city, I headed through the large stone arch to the busy streets beyond.
My excited eyes looked around at every nook and cranny as I took in every detail that was on offer. Soon coming across the large marble and wood building of the adventurer’s guild in front of me. I stood in front of the large building clearly awestruck and for a moment I felt completely overwhelmed. This was it. This was the first step I was going to take on my journey and yet I felt far too nervous to head inside. Instead I stood there shaking slightly as I tried to work up the courage to push those large oak doors aside and declare my presence to the world.
Idea 14: Man of the town. (So again the premise is also pretty basic. My character wakes up in a town where there’s no men, as if they all vanished at once. Including his father which leaves him home alone with his sister and mother. (It’s up to you if you want incest in the plot or not.) We can have a story with an element of mystery to it too if you want! Or we can just bounce around the town having him bonk as many different people as you want.)
Starter: It’s been a few weeks since all the men in the town vanished one day. One day they were there and the next they were gone. There was of course a panic even though it is much calmer than originally, it continues to creep in the back of everyone’s mind. It doesn’t help the fact that no outsiders have come into the town and some strange thick fog seems to stop everyone from leaving.
However, with no answers it was left to the women of the town to pick up the slack and try to push for some level of normalcy. Except for me it seemed. Since the whole act started, I was in lockdown not being free to leave my home since my mother and sister was much too paranoid that I’d disappear too. With the amount of time I spent indoors going stir crazy I began to wonder if it was better to be wherever the rest of them are.
Today was different though and finally I was given the chance to leave the house while my mother was careless and rather quickly, I headed out into the street just glad to take in the scenery as I headed over to a nearby park. I headed over the soft grass feeling it beneath my shoes and then to the pond where I took a seat on one of the mounted benches.
Idea 15: Zombie and Nuclear Apocalypse. (Not a whole lot to say here other than it’s one of your run of the mill Zombie/Nuclear apocalypse scenarios. I might toy with the idea of having multiple zombie types like games such as Dying light and Left for dead in order to spice things up a little but we’ll see where we go with it. As for nuclear I’ll probably be following along the Fallout franchise. Being part of these worlds will probably make my character a bit more brash, blunt and even a little rude. However, given some time he’ll warm up.)
Zombie Starter: No one knows quite when the outbreak started, however it swept over the globe causing panic. People eating people. People dying and coming back to life as a shambling corpse joining the armies of similar creatures. Society crumbled over time and the cities which were now hot zones for hordes of the undead creatures were left abandoned to all but the most daring or desperate of individuals. However, these rabid hordes weren’t the only thing to look out for in the apocalypse.
Society had begun to reform in its most primal form. People grouped together for safety. Those who just wanted to live peacefully became easy prey for those who saw the end of the world as we knew it as a playground to kill pillage and steal what they’d like. These bandits created their own factions with their own fortresses and seemed to have an endless supply of guns and ammo as they used it quite liberally.
I had been on the trail of a particularly nasty group of bandits as they razed whatever small settlements, they had to the ground callously and without mercy. I had just arrived at one of these towns. Dying people lay scattered about while fires licked at the makeshift buildings. It was still quite fresh. Approaching a nearby body which seemed to be moving slightly I turned it over the man was in bad shape and was clearly on death’s door. His eyes looking into mine in a pleading sense.
“Do you want me to make it quick?” I asked him reaching my left hand down to my machete which hung on my belt. Weakly his hand reached out to grip my right as he gave a nod. I knew the death wouldn’t be clean, as I unsheathed my blade. However, I couldn’t waste any ammo on my pistol nor could I risk tipping off the bandits that did this that I was following them. With a quick swing I slammed the blade into the head of the man ending his life and after wiping the blade off on his shirt I slid it back into its sheath my eyes scanning the immediate area for any of the undead which had turned or for a slim chance of getting a glimpse of survivors.
Nuclear Apocalypse Starter:
The world as we knew it ended in a flash. A white light followed by a rumble which washed over the world in nuclear fire. Billions died then and there reducing the world’s population to the brink. Those who were lucky to survive a direct blast were mutated to become much different than humans and more akin to zombies. Those outside of it didn’t have much quality of life as the radiation created mutated creatures which made living in a barren wasteland that much harder.
There were others however who were lucky enough to be given a spot in giant underground vaults. There they lived out their lives separated from the horrors that this new world wrought. One by one these vaults opened to allow these vault dwellers into the wasteland that was our world.
Their blue suits and clueless natures made them stand out and become easy prey to raiders, giant creatures and everything in between. Many of them didn’t get far before being gutted and robbed for their illusive vault suits which earned enough to feed a scavenger or bandit for a month.
The world and society began to rebuild. And with small settlements and towns popping up here and there it wasn’t all doom and gloom for the wasteland. Many were able to create jobs in local milita, mercenary work. Even trading or bartending.
I was such a mercenary a few generations of my family lived through the bombing and the radiation which was lucky enough for me, I guess. I was hired to do whatever someone wanted for the right price. And today I was tasked with delving into a recently opened vault and check make contact with the inhabitants inside.
Colt python on my waist I headed over to the large vault door which at this point was sealed shut and knocked loudly. This job seemed rather easy and was paying a lot which made me wonder who I was working for and what purpose they had with these vault dwellers. However, I wasn’t paid to ask questions nor did I really care at the end of the day. The less I knew the less guilt I could feel.
Idea 16: Space/Scifi. (So this is a scifi adventure. My character is the captain of his own ship and is currently looking for recruits to join him and help run it. There will probably be lots of interesting planets our characters go to and I’ll certainly be making them up as we go along! Your character can range as anything from a human to android or even an alien.)
Starter: Stepping out of The Tempest I breathed in the humid station air of Astra station. The station which was on the furthest reaches of the space ruled over the galactic council; was a haven for the depraved. Outlaws, mercenaries, drug dealers you name it Astra has it and in bountiful supply too.
Which made it a perfect spot to find someone who was desperate to get off the station. Someone who would work for cheap or for free. All I needed to do was to find them. “Schwarzer, don’t forget to stock up on food, military rations are sad.” A voice commented through the earpiece I had. “Yeah. I’ll head through the slums and to the market. Thanks, Evai.” I responded. “And don’t cause any trouble, I don’t wanna rot in this ship while you’re dead.” The voice added on. “Yeah yeah I’ve got it.” I responded as the communication line was severed and I started on my walk.
I headed through a nearby door and down into the depths of the station. Soon I the overcrowded and frankly smelly slums. Beggars and gang members lined every corner all looking at me with a cautious eye as I passed. There were even a few tweaked out drug users laying scattered about in some dark corners. Even a few corpses.
I didn’t stop though, if you stayed in one place too long down here you were asking to be jumped and quickly, I pushed on heading over to the bustling markets. The food quality here wasn’t the best although it was abundant. I even talked to a few of the store owners to see if they knew where I could find the extra hands to help me on my ship.
Idea 17: Brother sisteMother son (Or both). (So, this starter is gonna be fairly generic, however it’s open to allowing any of the familial ties to be easily included. I have a few ideas for immediate family and will post them below and if you have any ideas, I’m happy to hear them.)
Starter: It’s a hot and lazy day in the middle of summer break. I had laid splayed out on the couch at home. Despite the air conditioner being on full blast my skin underneath my tank top was getting stuck to the leather couch; which did little to alleviate the heat fluster that was going on. I sighed after looking over the back of the couch to the pool outback longingly. I sighed a little resigning myself to bite the bullet and peeled myself from the couch.
As much as I wanted to strip down and run out, I wasn’t entirely sure if I was home alone and as such, I headed up to my room to change into a pair of swimming trunks before heading back downstairs. Passing through the laundry and grabbing a towel on the way.
I headed onto the back deck and draped my towel over the railing before I rushed over and leapt into the pool immediately feeling the cool water wash away any of the heat I had been feeling. I resurface and breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed my messy hair back from my face.
Idea 18: Aunt/Cousin (Can be both). (Again like the incest scene above I’m not quite sure how to spruce this one up so I’ll leave it rather basic and we can go from there.)
Starter: My family has gone on holiday without me as I had to stay behind due to being caught up in exams. Rather than meeting up with them later they decided it would be more fun for me if I finished them up then headed over to spend some time with my Aunt and my cousin across the county. While I wouldn’t be leaving the country, I was still getting a vacation in a way and as such I tried my best to be upbeat and positive about it, even if I was envious of the others.
While it wasn’t the same pristine beaches and high-class resorts that the rest of my family was going to, I was still grateful for the hospitality. The plane lands in the airport and after collecting my bags and checking my phone for a confirmation I was going to be picked up I sent my family and my aunt and cousin a quick text telling them I landed safely. After gathering my small suitcase from the conveyor belt, I wheeled it through security and out to the meeting area keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of my cousin or my auntie. There was a little confusion about who was going to greet me so I wasn’t sure who to expect myself.
Idea 19: Incest family vacation. (So, this one is again going to be like the other two before it. They kinda roll off each other in a way. However, I believe it allows for a wide range of engagements with multiple characters at some kind of beach resort.)
Starter: It’s the dead middle of another scorching summer and rather than tough it out in our homes which has air-conditioning which never seemed to help, our large family decided to all go to a large resort (Could even be a cruise too) together. Many of the rooms were rather luxurious and I was more than excited to see what the rest of the hotel had to offer.
We pulled up into the lobby and while the parents were checking in I headed over to check out a map on the wall. It seemed there were quite a lot of different things to do around the resort. There was a pool with a poolside bar, a beach which had volleyball games, a massage parlour, hot tubs and many different activities ranging from native dances to eating competitions.
Just the realization we were here and the excitement at the many possibilities that could come from the vacation. Maybe I’d even meet someone nice and have a vacation fling. Although with so many family members running around, I doubted that I’d get much peace to do that. Regardless I was eager to get up to the room, have a shower and change into my swimming trunks to explore all the different places.
We headed up to the rooms where I noticed mine had a large double bed. However, judging by my mother’s comments outside It seemed there was some kind of mix-up in the rooms and I’d be sharing the room with one of my family members. Not that I minded too much. I placed my suitcase down and waited to see who would come in and if they were interested in joining me look around.
Closing words: So yeah that’s about it! Thanks for reading and if you have any questions or suggestions, I’m open to hearing them! I know this was probably a big read so thanks again for your time and I hope to talk to some of you soo
submitted by Joker_ERP to Dirtypenpalsuk [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 20:25 Joker_ERP [M4A] (A playing as F) Massive list of RP prompts (Rule 34, fandoms, Games, OC, Incest Ect.)

Hey there! Today I’ve got a massive list of rp ideas and have written out some starters along with some ideas to how I see the rp going. I’m open to change and ready to do other ideas too. So if you feel like you’ve got an idea I might be interested in feel free to talk to me about those: ).
As for my replies. I write in first person mainly and my reply length varies. I generally do anything from a few sentences to a paragraph or more and generally require my partner to do the same. Fair warning the less detail you reply with the less interested I’ll be in rping with you. (Not looking for a few words as a response)
I enjoy having a story to go along with the smut so it’s not just constant sex, some cute or action driven moments are fun as well. – Hand holding and cute dates are pleasant! I mainly do my rps on kik, discord or here. I also have an RP facebook account, so feel free to ask for my users for those! : )
My kinks and limits list might be a big read, but none are compulsory. I’m just here to have fun and hopefully meet some cool rp partners : )
Kinks: Harems (Doesn’t mean having to play all characters at once, just one by one is fine!), Incest, Outercourse (Which is stuff like titjobs, thigh jobs, grinding, hot dogging) Risky public spaces (Toilet stalls, changing booths. That kinda thing where people could get caught.) Facials, Freckles (Face and body). Big/nicely shaped bums (Especially if they jiggle). Creampies, Cum on tits/body, big cumshots, Thigh high socks. showewater sex (pools, shower, hot tubs ect.) Mutual desire for sex.
Limits: Pregnancy (Hard limit sorry), Vomit, Piss, Blood, Toilet stuff, Rape, Gangbangs (Unless it’s multiple females) Male on Male, futas, rimming/pegging.
There might be more that I’m forgetting so if you’re unsure feel free to ask me! The rougher side of sex like Name calling, slapping choking spanking I can all do as well! : ) Without further ado let’s jump into the starters!
Disclaimer: I am 18+ and all participants and characters must be 18+
Here's the basic list of ideas if you wanted to look them over before reading the full posts. I’m also open to some ideas that I may have missed! And please note: I’m looking for FEMALE characters only!
Rule 34/Fandom/Game Ideas: Idea 1: My Harem (Hero) Academia. Idea 2: Pokémon Idea 3: Naruto Idea 4: Bleach Idea 5: One piece. Idea 6: Sword Art Online. Idea 7: Fairy Tail. Idea 8: Avatar The Last Airbender. Idea 9: Persona (Girls from 4 and 5). Idea 10: Harry Potter. Idea 11: Final Fantasy. Idea 12: The Witcher 3.
OC Ideas: Idea 13: Fantasy harem adventure. Idea 14: Only Man of the town. Idea 15: Zombie and Nuclear Apocalypse. Idea 16: Sci-Fi space crew.
Incest Ideas: Idea 17: Brother sisteMother son (Or both). Idea 18: Aunt/Cousin. (Can be both) Idea 19: Incest family vacation.
Idea 1: My Harem (Hero) Academia.
(So my character will be a transfer into Class 1-A. His power is the power of persuasion. With the power he’s able to convince someone to do something as if it’s their own will. However, he’s hesitant to use it on other people and to tell everyone he even has it as he’s been outcast at his last school for the villainous nature of his quirk. As such he can’t use it to its full extent and can only issue small commands to begin with.
My idea with this is that one or more (cannon or non) of the girls decide to help him out in a private setting and overtime it gets more and more sexual in nature. And as he becomes more confident, he’s able to issue more longer-term commands. This can also be mixed in well with some story and some action to keep the plot interesting.)
Starter: It was a day which started like most others in Class 1-A. The students got ready in the dorms and headed to class to chat among themselves while they waited for Aizawa to enter. However, unlike most days there seemed to be an extra desk placed in the room. The seat caused some confusion which didn’t last long as the first bell rang and Aizawa entered the room.
“Morning everyone.” He stated in his mainly bored and sleepy tone which seemed to sound like he was stifling a yawn. “Today we’ve got a new student transferring in from another school. He’s from Shiketsu, some of you may recognize the name since it’s got the same level as prestige as U.A. but regardless make sure he feels welcome.” He said pointing a sweeping stare at everyone and finally resting on the problem child of the U.A class Bakugo.
With that he fell silent and I felt it was my cue to enter. Swallowing a little at the nerves I steeled them quickly and entered. My blue eyes sweeping over some of the familiar faces in the room. Many of the students had standout performances in the UA sports festival and as well in the news reports about the villain attack on the training camp.
I had a lot to live up to if I wanted to join these legends in training but regardless, I was determined to do just that. Breathing a little and shifting my auburn hair from my eyes I smiled the best I could. “My name is Schwarzer, Chris Schwarzer. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” I say bowing to the class.
Satisfied with the introduction Aizawa nodded to the spare seat in the room. Taking that as an order I nodded back and headed over to my seat sitting down and getting my books out. Curiously I turned to the seat next to me noticing one of the girls in the class and gave her a slight smile as Aizawa began his lesson.
Idea 2: Pokemon. (So this one is super simple. Some trainers or a trainer and his Pokémon go on a grand adventure. For this one my favourite Canon female are: Marnie, May, Hilda and May. And my favourite Anthro Pokémon are Lopunny, Arcanine, Blaiziken That’s just for reference though and you can really play whoever you like! Ocs are of course welcome too!)
Trainer x Trainer Starter:
I like many others in the world of Pokémon have just started on my journey. Although I had done so a little late. Regardless me and my starter Pokémon Aipom which was a gift from my late father. Setting off with excitement to make a name of myself.
That excitement wore off pretty quickly however as an advanced trainer stepped in my path and soon, I realized how big the gap between us was. He wiped the floor with my aipom and laughed as he took my “Prize money” Scooping up my aipom I rushed through the rest of the route and over to the next town ducking quickly into the Pokémon centre.
Looking around there was a few new trainers who seemed to have fallen to the same fate as I had and I shook my head. Guys like that were total assholes and without hesitating I headed over to the counter where the nurse took my Aipom from me. Once he was gone, I was told there was going to be a short wait due to the amount of Pokémon they had to treat. I nodded as I headed over and sat down in one of the seats.
Idea 3: Naruto. (So for this one I like the idea that my character is a nomadic mercenary hired by the leaf to help train the ninja of the village, maybe he also has some kind of hidden power that boosts his chakra but also increases his libido. Not too sure how I wanna go about this one.)
Starter: The Hokage Tsunade Senju looked over me with a curious gaze and then down to my application form. “You’re younger than I expected given everything you’ve done.” She stated honestly. “But the intelligence division did a thorough search into you and you check out.” She stated as she slammed the approved stamp down onto my paper.
“Just remember, if you do anything to endanger this village, I’ll snuff you out personally.” She said in an icy and threatening tone. Feeling a cold bead of sweat roll down the side of my face I nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of it.” I say. Internally I make a mental note not to cross her in any way.
“Good.” She said putting a smile across her features. “Your first group is down on the training field waiting for you already.” She stated. “Your lodgings will be set up by the time you’re done, here’s the key.” She said tossing the key to me which I caught and stuffed into my pocket. I was a little shocked with how quick she wanted me to get to work but I nodded. “Right!” I say giving a respectful bow before heading out.
It took me a little longer than expected to actually find the training grounds as I hadn’t ever been here before. And when I got there much to her credit there were a few ninja standing around. Approaching them I gave them a sheepish smile. “Sorry I’m late guys.” I called out. “I got lost.” I added on.
Idea 4: Bleach. (So a new human soul reaper makes it into the soul society. His power isn’t captain level to begin with simply being enough to take out the average hollow. And with the resurgence of the hollow threat the Soul Society has offered to give him a substitute badge to take out those hollows deemed too small for the soul society to handle. Maybe he’s paired up with someone or someone like Orihime steps in to help him grow.)
Starter: Another boring day at school followed by a night of boring patrols. With all the big hollows being taken care of by “Full-fledged” Soul reapers it didn’t leave me with much opportunity to train against bigger enemies.
At least that’s what I thought originally. A few blocks from me there was a rift which opened up and the pure spiritual pressure that came from the hollow that stepped out of it was enough to make me feel as though gravity itself was pushing against me.
It was hard to breathe and even harder to stand as my hand clutched my blade in my left hand tightly. I shook my head as I heard the loud roar of the large breast and could even see it’s towering form from my position.
It was nothing close to a menos, but it was enough to tower over a three-story building for sure. “Shit.” I hissed to myself as I knew there were no soul reapers around at this stage. With a threat this big I was sure they’d come, but until then it was up to me to buy some time and make sure no humans or souls were consumed.
Pushing myself forward I reached the park that the Hollow had appeared in. Thankfully the park was deserted at this time of night. When he saw me the hollow. “You don’t smell like much, but you’ll do as a snack.” The hollow commented as it charged forward. “Just evade, buy time.” I comment to myself as I began to leap around the battle field looking a bit like and feeling like an idiot.
The hollow toyed with me a little while enjoying the chase before it seemed to ger bored. Just when I was thinking I was fast enough to keep avoiding it the creature’s mouth opened and its forked tongue shot out at me with faster speed than I was anticipating I raised my blade to defend myself but it was a feeble attempt and I knew it wouldn’t be enough.
Idea 5: One Piece. (So I’m not quite sure how to approach this one, but I’ll give it a go. Much like the MHA starter my character will have the power of persuasion, having eaten the Persua-Persua fruit. I’m thinking either he joins the Strawhats and goes on their adventures or he makes his own crew with girls from the story, I’m gonna leave it fairly open ended so we can jump in whenever along the story we wanna go!)
Starter: Alone in a bar I sat staring in the amber liquid in my mug. I was down on my luck after having my whole crew and my ship destroyed in a long battle another pirate crew. The only reason I was able to live through the ordeal was due to my crew sacrificing themselves to give me a chance to escape.
I spent days adrift with little food and water and soon washed up upon the island I was in. Immediately I found a tavern ready to drown my sorrows and feel sorry for myself for a little while.
Letting out a sigh I downed the rest of my drink soon looking at the few drops of liquid bottom of my mug. I knew being a pirate wouldn’t be easy, I knew it’d be violent and end in violence. However, to lose in that fashion without even being able to use my devil fruit to calm or question our opponent and losing everything still took its toll on me.
Scratching at the growing stubble with one hand, the other I raised my mug to demand another drink and as such the bartender approached to fill my mug. “You’re looking a little rough there, you sure you need another?” The bartender asked as he took the mug from me. “I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t even know what else to do with myself.” I responded grumpily. “Just fill it up.” I demanded. “Right.” The bartender responded as he filled it with more of the alcoholic amber liquid and slid It in front of me.
Idea 6: Sword Art Online. (Fairly simple it’s SAO set in the original death game. I love the idea, so I’ve always loved rping this one. If you want to play canon characters my fave is for sure Lizbeth, but I’m open to OC characters!)
Starter: It’s been months since Akihiko Kayaba has trapped us into this death game. Or at least that’s how some people looked at it. Others saw it as their dream come true. But most if not, all wanted to push forward and beat the game.
Despite the desire to push forward little progress has been made. Guilds and parties have formed to push through dungeons but with the increased danger and with it more deaths; more and more people simply decided to live out their lives on the lower floors.
Unlike those rushing in to push through the content I was happy enough to go through it at my own pace. This place was like a dream for me, save for the fact I had an increased chance of dying I was able to live in this game without the worries of the outside world.
I was doing some late-night grinding in an area of dense forest. The sun had set and there was little light save for the bright moon poking through the trees. All was calm, the trees swayed with the wind and the occasional sound of creatures moving about was enough to calm me.
However, the deeper I got into the forest the louder a sound became. At first it was quiet but as I approached, I heard it more clearly. It sounded like steel clashing against steel. Someone was fighting. Moving from a casual walk into a jog I quickly came to a small clearing where I saw two figures fighting, although in the low light I couldn’t make it out until I got closer.
Idea 7: Fairy Tail. (it’s been a little while since I’ve seen the series, but I’ve always loved it! Given my time away I might have to take some time to refamiliarize myself with the magics. My character will simply be an entry level member into the guild to begin with, canon characters are welcome just as OCs are!)
Starter: Another day in magnolia and another party being held at the large guild building at the centre of town. A large-scale job had just finished with some of the senior ranking wizards. and even though I wasn’t part of that mission, instead being on my own D-Rank job I joined in on the celebrations.
I had only been part of the guild for a few days and so far, it’s not been as exciting as I’d hoped, although I figured that it’d pick up once I proved myself. I was drinking by myself when I was approached by Makarov. He was wearing an essentric looking orange outfit. “Schwarzer my boy!” He said as he patted me on the shoulder. “How are you fitting in?” He questioned. “Fine sir! Everyone has been very welcoming.” I say to him in response. “Glad to hear it! You’ve been doing a good job, although I’d like to see you do more.” The male said. “So I’ve arranged a partner for you on your next job, that way you can take something more challenging, what do you say?” He questioned.
“Yes of course!” I say eagerly as a smile spread across my face. “Great!” He said cheerfully. “I’ll introduce you to who you’ll be working with.” He said as he stood from his spot and lead the way over to a female clearing his throat loud enough to get their attention.
Idea 8: Avatar the Last Airbender. (So for this one I guess it can go two different ways. My fave girls from Avatar would probably be Ty Lee, Suki and Toph. Maybe my character is a powerful bender that either the fire nation or team Avatar wants on their side. I think it might be cool to think that Aang isn’t the only airbender and instead a small faction managed to escape and continue the lineage. Either that or my character is a powerful firebender of some kind. I’ll leave whichever you prefer to you in your first reply as I’ll leave it open ended.)
Starter: The world was at war ever since the Fire nation attacked. With the intense fighting came mercenaries. Freelance benders or soldiers ready to fight on either side. For a fee of course. And despite my age, being only eighteen I was quite renown amongst the other bounty hunters for my bending.
Of course, there were talks of the Avatar returning, having repelled an invasion in the south pole, the liberation of Omashu and then the fire nation prison. It seemed they were making quite the stir in the earth kingdom.
It’d only be a matter of time before they reached the small town, I was in. Perhaps they were already here. But if that was the case surely there would be some kind of stir. Pushing my hair from my face I ordered another drink from the barkeep. “You know you’re my favourite customer Schwarzer…. You’re the only one who consistently pays his tab. Unlike the rest of these soldiers or the workers around here.” The older man says in clear annoyance.
“Well who knows, if I wasn’t so successful, I’d probably mooch off you too.” I admitted with a grin. “Try not to talk too ill of the soldiers on either side.” I added on flicking him an extra coin for a tip once my drink was finished. “Well I better check if anyone has a job for me.” I say as I pushed myself up from my seat.
Idea 9: Persona. (So basically this is just gonna be a fairly interesting idea. My character along with the girls of persona 4 and 5 get stranded in this strange dimension where they have to fight their way out to make it back to their own worlds.)
Starter: It all happened so fast. One minute I was in a team meeting with my group discussing what we should use our newfound powers for next. And the next second, I had blinked and I was in some kind of strange room.
One by one more people were added into this room. Some of which were dressed in some elaborate costumes. And I frowned as I looked to each one of them, all of which I didn’t recognize at all and judging by their looks they didn’t recognize me. Although before we managed to introduce ourselves a booming voice broke the silence.
“Welcome all!” The clearly male voice commented. “To the room of my design.” He added on. “I’m sure you’re all confused. And no doubt you’ll want to return back to your homes. However, to do so you’ll need to enter my labyrinth. “Make it to the end and you’ll all return home.” The voice explained.
“Of course, this maze isn’t without its dangers. Enemies, much like you encounter on a regular basis will roam these halls. As well as beasts of my own design far stronger than those… Fear no though for every check point you reach this room will become more furnished with amenities. For now, you simply have beds to rest on.” He said as there was an audible click and the dark room was suddenly lit up. Sure, enough there were rows of beds all lined up one for each person to sleep on.
“When you’re ready to test yourselves step through this door and enter the first level of the labyrinth.” He declared as a large door appeared and opened up in front of them. For a while nobody said anything probably all too stunned to even process the information. “So, I’m guessing we’re all persona users given what he just said.” I spoke up. “I guess we should probably start with names and strengths, right?” I questioned the group. “I’m Chris Schwarzer.” I say. “My persona Serapth focuses on ranged combat.” I explained.
Idea 10: Harry Potter. (So to keep this one interesting I’m thinking of having it set in an AU where Voldemort and Harry don’t exist. However, there are still dark wizards who are part of a cult around. Defs looking for a Hermionie, Luna or Ginny, you could even have other celebs/ecelebs as teachers or students for this one! Ocs are of course welcome too!)
Starter: Another year at Hogwarts, the last for some; and another year of learning was right around the corner. Although times were not peaceful in the wizarding world. Aurors who were the police of the magical world were going missing or showing up dead.
The ministry not wanting to make a panic kept it fairly under wraps, however some of the families have come forward with the information and rumours abounded about what was really happening. Stepping off the train I sighed a little rubbing my temple where a headache had begun to set in. During the train ride here, I found myself stuck next to a boy who wouldn’t stop going on about the rumours and conspiracy theories.
Glad to be off the train I looked around for a minute lost as to where I needed to go. “I know it’s around here somewhere.” I commented, although my sense of direction was always off. Usually I followed everyone else. But this time it seemed I was one of the last ones off the train.
Idea 11: Final Fantasy. (So this is simply going to be an idea with no starter since it will probably change depending on the many FF universes. My favourite however is defs FF7. (Tifa, Jessie and Aerith are best girls) with follow-ups being 12, 13, 15, 10, 8 and 9. Basically a fight would take the Main character of those series, Cloud, Noct, ect out of commission and needing a leader the other characters step up and hire mine on. Similar to some of my other prompts but I never said I was creative :^) With that being said though if you ARE interested in this one let me know and we can work out details depending on what world we’re in!)
Idea 12: The Witcher 3. (So my character will be a Witcher. (wow!) Saving people, hunting things you know? The family business. Anyway, I’m gonna leave it super open ended for you to come in however you like! If you wanna play a canon character my top two are for sure Ciri and Trist, and OC characters are accepted too!)
Starter: A Werewolf, an odd and rare contract, although I figured it wouldn’t be a hard one. In face I figured with my silver blade that the creature would go down rather quickly. Starting the encounter, I was faced with a harsh reality due to my hubris. I started off well enough, however due to my carelessness I was quickly on the backfoot.
The beast roared as it swung its large clawed hand towards me. I had barely managed to roll out of the way of the attack. Probably due to the increasing levels of bloodless resulting in a careless action on my part. A level of confidence quickly pushed down by the fact a handful of open wounds stung at my flanks.
More scars for later given that I make it out of here, although with my silver blade thrown on the other side of the area leaving me with only a steel sword which barely even phases the thing. I had to reach my blade, although with my focus on dodging the attacks it was hard to find an opening to do so.
I raised a hand and cast the igni sign launching flames at the creature who leapt back and I tried my best to make it past the creature only to have to dodge another strike as the beast recovered remarkably fast. “Stubborn bastard, aren’t you?” I questioned a little sourly.
Idea 13: Fantasy harem adventure. (This one is fairly basic in nature. Basically, a young man with little combat experience leaves his poor hunting village once he’s of age and sets off to join the adventurer’s guild to make a name for himself and also to send money back home. He’s fairly modest, naive and kind hearted. Which makes him likable and easy to take advantage of.
We could add a story with war elements, racism and darker themes to show him that the world he idolizes isn’t as cracked up as he thought it’d be. Ideally, I’d like a full harem party for this one but I’m cool with one on one too.)
Starter: It had been a few days since I was finally able to leave the small village, I was raised in behind me. Sword on hip and keen to become an adventurer. Of course, I also wanted to make a name for myself and I was even more excited to see everything the world had to offer. With driving me forward I headed from my village over to the closest city which had a guild branch. A city called Ruan. It was nearly five times the size of my village if not more and yet it was nothing close to the capital city of Grancel.
Smooth dirt paths soon gave way to cobblestone and my boots clacked rhythmically against the pavement as my steps soon got faster and faster as Ruan came into view. My stomach was in knots as I gripped the straps on my bag tightly and after steeling my nerves and taking in the sight of the large city, I headed through the large stone arch to the busy streets beyond.
My excited eyes looked around at every nook and cranny as I took in every detail that was on offer. Soon coming across the large marble and wood building of the adventurer’s guild in front of me. I stood in front of the large building clearly awestruck and for a moment I felt completely overwhelmed. This was it. This was the first step I was going to take on my journey and yet I felt far too nervous to head inside. Instead I stood there shaking slightly as I tried to work up the courage to push those large oak doors aside and declare my presence to the world.
Idea 14: Man of the town. (So again the premise is also pretty basic. My character wakes up in a town where there’s no men, as if they all vanished at once. Including his father which leaves him home alone with his sister and mother. (It’s up to you if you want incest in the plot or not.) We can have a story with an element of mystery to it too if you want! Or we can just bounce around the town having him bonk as many different people as you want.)
Starter: It’s been a few weeks since all the men in the town vanished one day. One day they were there and the next they were gone. There was of course a panic even though it is much calmer than originally, it continues to creep in the back of everyone’s mind. It doesn’t help the fact that no outsiders have come into the town and some strange thick fog seems to stop everyone from leaving.
However, with no answers it was left to the women of the town to pick up the slack and try to push for some level of normalcy. Except for me it seemed. Since the whole act started, I was in lockdown not being free to leave my home since my mother and sister was much too paranoid that I’d disappear too. With the amount of time I spent indoors going stir crazy I began to wonder if it was better to be wherever the rest of them are.
Today was different though and finally I was given the chance to leave the house while my mother was careless and rather quickly, I headed out into the street just glad to take in the scenery as I headed over to a nearby park. I headed over the soft grass feeling it beneath my shoes and then to the pond where I took a seat on one of the mounted benches.
Idea 15: Zombie and Nuclear Apocalypse. (Not a whole lot to say here other than it’s one of your run of the mill Zombie/Nuclear apocalypse scenarios. I might toy with the idea of having multiple zombie types like games such as Dying light and Left for dead in order to spice things up a little but we’ll see where we go with it. As for nuclear I’ll probably be following along the Fallout franchise. Being part of these worlds will probably make my character a bit more brash, blunt and even a little rude. However, given some time he’ll warm up.)
Zombie Starter: No one knows quite when the outbreak started, however it swept over the globe causing panic. People eating people. People dying and coming back to life as a shambling corpse joining the armies of similar creatures. Society crumbled over time and the cities which were now hot zones for hordes of the undead creatures were left abandoned to all but the most daring or desperate of individuals. However, these rabid hordes weren’t the only thing to look out for in the apocalypse.
Society had begun to reform in its most primal form. People grouped together for safety. Those who just wanted to live peacefully became easy prey for those who saw the end of the world as we knew it as a playground to kill pillage and steal what they’d like. These bandits created their own factions with their own fortresses and seemed to have an endless supply of guns and ammo as they used it quite liberally.
I had been on the trail of a particularly nasty group of bandits as they razed whatever small settlements, they had to the ground callously and without mercy. I had just arrived at one of these towns. Dying people lay scattered about while fires licked at the makeshift buildings. It was still quite fresh. Approaching a nearby body which seemed to be moving slightly I turned it over the man was in bad shape and was clearly on death’s door. His eyes looking into mine in a pleading sense.
“Do you want me to make it quick?” I asked him reaching my left hand down to my machete which hung on my belt. Weakly his hand reached out to grip my right as he gave a nod. I knew the death wouldn’t be clean, as I unsheathed my blade. However, I couldn’t waste any ammo on my pistol nor could I risk tipping off the bandits that did this that I was following them. With a quick swing I slammed the blade into the head of the man ending his life and after wiping the blade off on his shirt I slid it back into its sheath my eyes scanning the immediate area for any of the undead which had turned or for a slim chance of getting a glimpse of survivors.
Nuclear Apocalypse Starter:
The world as we knew it ended in a flash. A white light followed by a rumble which washed over the world in nuclear fire. Billions died then and there reducing the world’s population to the brink. Those who were lucky to survive a direct blast were mutated to become much different than humans and more akin to zombies. Those outside of it didn’t have much quality of life as the radiation created mutated creatures which made living in a barren wasteland that much harder.
There were others however who were lucky enough to be given a spot in giant underground vaults. There they lived out their lives separated from the horrors that this new world wrought. One by one these vaults opened to allow these vault dwellers into the wasteland that was our world.
Their blue suits and clueless natures made them stand out and become easy prey to raiders, giant creatures and everything in between. Many of them didn’t get far before being gutted and robbed for their illusive vault suits which earned enough to feed a scavenger or bandit for a month.
The world and society began to rebuild. And with small settlements and towns popping up here and there it wasn’t all doom and gloom for the wasteland. Many were able to create jobs in local milita, mercenary work. Even trading or bartending.
I was such a mercenary a few generations of my family lived through the bombing and the radiation which was lucky enough for me, I guess. I was hired to do whatever someone wanted for the right price. And today I was tasked with delving into a recently opened vault and check make contact with the inhabitants inside.
Colt python on my waist I headed over to the large vault door which at this point was sealed shut and knocked loudly. This job seemed rather easy and was paying a lot which made me wonder who I was working for and what purpose they had with these vault dwellers. However, I wasn’t paid to ask questions nor did I really care at the end of the day. The less I knew the less guilt I could feel.
Idea 16: Space/Scifi. (So this is a scifi adventure. My character is the captain of his own ship and is currently looking for recruits to join him and help run it. There will probably be lots of interesting planets our characters go to and I’ll certainly be making them up as we go along! Your character can range as anything from a human to android or even an alien.)
Starter: Stepping out of The Tempest I breathed in the humid station air of Astra station. The station which was on the furthest reaches of the space ruled over the galactic council; was a haven for the depraved. Outlaws, mercenaries, drug dealers you name it Astra has it and in bountiful supply too.
Which made it a perfect spot to find someone who was desperate to get off the station. Someone who would work for cheap or for free. All I needed to do was to find them. “Schwarzer, don’t forget to stock up on food, military rations are sad.” A voice commented through the earpiece I had. “Yeah. I’ll head through the slums and to the market. Thanks, Evai.” I responded. “And don’t cause any trouble, I don’t wanna rot in this ship while you’re dead.” The voice added on. “Yeah yeah I’ve got it.” I responded as the communication line was severed and I started on my walk.
I headed through a nearby door and down into the depths of the station. Soon I the overcrowded and frankly smelly slums. Beggars and gang members lined every corner all looking at me with a cautious eye as I passed. There were even a few tweaked out drug users laying scattered about in some dark corners. Even a few corpses.
I didn’t stop though, if you stayed in one place too long down here you were asking to be jumped and quickly, I pushed on heading over to the bustling markets. The food quality here wasn’t the best although it was abundant. I even talked to a few of the store owners to see if they knew where I could find the extra hands to help me on my ship.
Idea 17: Brother sisteMother son (Or both). (So, this starter is gonna be fairly generic, however it’s open to allowing any of the familial ties to be easily included. I have a few ideas for immediate family and will post them below and if you have any ideas, I’m happy to hear them.)
Starter: It’s a hot and lazy day in the middle of summer break. I had laid splayed out on the couch at home. Despite the air conditioner being on full blast my skin underneath my tank top was getting stuck to the leather couch; which did little to alleviate the heat fluster that was going on. I sighed after looking over the back of the couch to the pool outback longingly. I sighed a little resigning myself to bite the bullet and peeled myself from the couch.
As much as I wanted to strip down and run out, I wasn’t entirely sure if I was home alone and as such, I headed up to my room to change into a pair of swimming trunks before heading back downstairs. Passing through the laundry and grabbing a towel on the way.
I headed onto the back deck and draped my towel over the railing before I rushed over and leapt into the pool immediately feeling the cool water wash away any of the heat I had been feeling. I resurface and breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed my messy hair back from my face.
Idea 18: Aunt/Cousin (Can be both). (Again like the incest scene above I’m not quite sure how to spruce this one up so I’ll leave it rather basic and we can go from there.)
Starter: My family has gone on holiday without me as I had to stay behind due to being caught up in exams. Rather than meeting up with them later they decided it would be more fun for me if I finished them up then headed over to spend some time with my Aunt and my cousin across the county. While I wouldn’t be leaving the country, I was still getting a vacation in a way and as such I tried my best to be upbeat and positive about it, even if I was envious of the others.
While it wasn’t the same pristine beaches and high-class resorts that the rest of my family was going to, I was still grateful for the hospitality. The plane lands in the airport and after collecting my bags and checking my phone for a confirmation I was going to be picked up I sent my family and my aunt and cousin a quick text telling them I landed safely. After gathering my small suitcase from the conveyor belt, I wheeled it through security and out to the meeting area keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of my cousin or my auntie. There was a little confusion about who was going to greet me so I wasn’t sure who to expect myself.
Idea 19: Incest family vacation. (So, this one is again going to be like the other two before it. They kinda roll off each other in a way. However, I believe it allows for a wide range of engagements with multiple characters at some kind of beach resort.)
Starter: It’s the dead middle of another scorching summer and rather than tough it out in our homes which has air-conditioning which never seemed to help, our large family decided to all go to a large resort (Could even be a cruise too) together. Many of the rooms were rather luxurious and I was more than excited to see what the rest of the hotel had to offer.
We pulled up into the lobby and while the parents were checking in I headed over to check out a map on the wall. It seemed there were quite a lot of different things to do around the resort. There was a pool with a poolside bar, a beach which had volleyball games, a massage parlour, hot tubs and many different activities ranging from native dances to eating competitions.
Just the realization we were here and the excitement at the many possibilities that could come from the vacation. Maybe I’d even meet someone nice and have a vacation fling. Although with so many family members running around, I doubted that I’d get much peace to do that. Regardless I was eager to get up to the room, have a shower and change into my swimming trunks to explore all the different places.
We headed up to the rooms where I noticed mine had a large double bed. However, judging by my mother’s comments outside It seemed there was some kind of mix-up in the rooms and I’d be sharing the room with one of my family members. Not that I minded too much. I placed my suitcase down and waited to see who would come in and if they were interested in joining me look around.
Closing words: So yeah that’s about it! Thanks for reading and if you have any questions or suggestions, I’m open to hearing them! I know this was probably a big read so thanks again for your time and I hope to talk to some of you soon!
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2020.11.27 16:57 Jcote12 Short Story: “My sister was a sociopath. Then she had surgery.”

There was always something wrong with Annie. For years, it felt like I was the only one who knew.
When we were kids, we used to see our little cousins quite often. Our house, their house. My mom and aunt drank wine and bonded over having lost their husbands, my uncle in the grave and my dad, in jail. Annie and I were much older than the other kids, but I’d still hang out with them, just to be safe and keep an eye on my sister. If I left her alone with them, someone would wind up hurt. One time, she’d stuck a clothespin on their cat and watched it run circles around the room. She was twelve. Another time, she’d pressured our youngest cousin to drop that same cat out a third floor window, mocking him for not wanting to do it. “I can’t believe you’re actually scared,” I’d heard her say. By the time I got up there, my little cousin had let go. The cat was fine, thank god. But my cousin was not. He was traumatized, screaming and crying behind his bedroom door. Annie told Mom that she was really sorry and that she’d learned in school that cats could survive such falls. It was all bullshit, Annie had never felt sorry a day in her life. But Mom ate it up every time, because Annie was her special little girl.
After Dad went away, our grandfather came over a lot to help Mom out. Her dad, as we hardly knew my father’s parents. I was very close with my Papa. He was probably the person I looked up to most. The man was never in a bad mood. At least if he was, he never showed it. He brought something to that house that had long been missing. Music, dancing, laughter. He’d teach me things my dad never did, like how to ride a bike, or tie a tie. Or, when Mom wasn’t home, how to use the power tools Dad left dusty in the basement. It didn’t matter what we did. There was comfort in simply having him there, waking up every day to find him already sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper, only to drop it straight away so he could cook me something for breakfast. Papa loved watching me eat, almost as much as he loved telling stories. He’d given me this small military medal once and told me about how he’d almost died earning it. Said he wasn’t much older than me when he got it. It didn’t feel right to keep it, but he was happy to pass it down, and even happier when he saw it pinned to my backpack the next day.
“Now you can take me with you when I’m in the ground,” he laughed. He joked, but he knew. Knew that I’d need his guidance even in death. Papa may have been a jolly, old Italian man, but he was sharper than he looked. He knew something was very wrong with his granddaughter, and knew that once he was gone, things were only going to get harder for all of us. Annie did nothing to hide her contempt for the relationship I had with Papa. She’d always looked on with a scowl. When Papa passed, she’d come into my room with bright eyes and said, “Are you sad Papa’s dead?” I screamed and told Mom but Annie pretended to be an ignorant child, and my mother was in no place to deal with it. During the services, Annie watched me like entertainment. I tried my hardest to hold everything in, to not give her any satisfaction. And though it did simmer her attention, it only heightened everyone else’s. People were apparently asking my mother what was wrong with me. The fact that I was looked upon with such scrutiny while Annie went unnoticed drove me insane, especially since the loss of my grandfather hurt me more than anything. And when his medal fell off my backpack the following week, it crushed me further. I came home from school in tears, totally inconsolable despite my mother’s attempts. Annie just sat there, looking amused. “Who’s gonna watch over you now?” she’d asked. I shoved her hard and Mom grounded me.
I thought about killing her that night.
The affect Annie had on me extended even beyond her reach. There was this ever-present mistrust in my mind, this cancerous red-flag that always waved. I’d spent my whole life watching my sister pretend to be something she’s not, to the point that even the most innocuously feigned interaction turned me off. Like when a cashier asks you how you are doing and you say ‘Good’ and ask them back. But you don’t care. They don’t care. I worried that this was true for everyone, always. So I kept to myself and never made very many friends.
Annie’s reign of terror continued on into high school. I got to spend one year there without her and it was the best year of my life. I actually couldn’t wait to go to school. Then she was a freshman, and I was back to spending afternoons in the counselor’s office. I never said much, and so Mr. Wyle treated me like every other anxiety-ridden student, offering me numerous breaks and check-ins. I didn’t know how to tell him that I was terrified of my fourteen year-old little sister, the sweet young girl that everyone was just now meeting. It hadn’t taken her long to adapt to her new environment. She threw on that sheep’s clothing and did what she does best: hide, and hurt. She was smart about it, much smarter than when she was a kid. It was always just painful enough to scar her victims, but simple enough to be overlooked by the rest of us. She’d date boys and break their hearts, just to take them back and break up all over again. It looked like casual teenage drama, but I knew she was doing it for fun. She’d toe the line with her male teachers, keep her best friend feeling like shit about herself, and tell her other friends that I was abusive toward her. I fucking hated it, and hated more so the fact that I had to let her get away with it. If I pushed, she’d push harder. I had to keep myself out of her mind.
Still, the thought of that stupid smirk as she soaked in the pain she’d caused made me see red.
Then I met Ms. Harden, the school’s new counselor. She’d seen how often I visited the reset-room in the past and wanted to get to know me. I wasn’t so receptive at first, but Harden never gave up on me. For weeks, I’d meet with her and in time I’d opened up. She seemed different. She didn’t talk to me from any position of authority, or with condescension. It felt like the person she was inside that room was the same person outside of it, which meant more to me than she knew. My red flags went down, as they rarely had. So when she asked me one day what I was afraid of, I told her everything. Harden was intrigued, so I kept going. It all came spilling out of me and I couldn’t stop. The release gave me relief I had never felt before.
Until Annie confronted me at my locker. “What did you say to her?” Harden had asked to meet with her, and she was livid. I couldn’t look her in the eye, my five-foot freshman of a little sister, so I dug around my locker like I was looking for something.
“Nothing,” I replied. I continued rummaging in hopes that she’d go away, or that somebody else would come talk to us. But nobody around us paid us any mind. Hell, it might have even looked like a sweet moment between brother and sister. Then Annie slammed the locker onto my hand. I howled and cursed loud enough to freeze the entire corridor. Teachers came running out of their classrooms as students buzzed with confusion, while those closer to me gasped and cried for help. I slid down to the floor and crunched into a tight ball, holding my hand to my chest, afraid to look at it. Annie had already disappeared.
I was lucky to have escaped with no worse than a bruise on the top of my hand. It hurt to make a fist, but it was better than a severed finger. Of course, Annie got in trouble with the school, and Mom. But what seemed to have bothered her most was the unraveling of the character she’d played for everyone. People were now talking, noticing things she never wanted them to notice, seeing her in a light she’d never wanted cast upon her. One of the upperclassmen called her a “little ginger snap”, and it caught on. She fucking hated that. And it was only going to get worse. Harden was now looking to meet with Annie regularly, and Annie would soon discover that her usual tricks were no match for a trained professional. Someone was finally seeing through the feigned innocence, the tales of grandeur, the timely sob stories. Thus began the chess match. When Annie skipped on her meeting with Harden, Harden called home. When Mom scheduled a joint meeting, Annie ate soap in the bathroom and made herself throw up. I was curious to see how long this battle would last, you just couldn’t underestimate how far Annie was willing to go. But I think she was smart enough to realize that any further resistance was just further evidence against her. I reveled in her misery the day she finally gave in. It wasn’t long before Harden suggested my mother take Annie to a psychologist. She explained to her how her daughter showed worrying signs of an anti-social personality. As ignorant and naïve as my mother had always been, it was now undeniable: Annie was a real life, near-diagnosable, manipulative little sociopath.
Poor Mom was beside herself. She cried and cried while pacing the kitchen with a cigarette in her shaking hand. She was at a loss, so she did exactly what was recommended of her. Annie was to be seeing the psychologist every week. Sometimes, Mom and I would join her. I had to hold in my excitement over seeing Annie so uncomfortably vulnerable, the way she’d always made everyone else feel. She’d stare daggers at me during the sessions. I’d try my best to appear neutral, to be like her and not show any emotion or fear whatsoever, but it wasn’t easy, not even after the fake apology she gave me. She spoke no truth in those sessions. Blamed her behavior on the absence of our father. Mom and the doctor deemed it progress, but not me. And Annie knew. Every time we got home, she’d shoot me this piercing glance before locking herself away in her room for the night, and only then could I finally breathe, though not for very long. I’d started sleeping with a damn knife under my pillow, just in case. If I started to feel ridiculous for doing so, I’d remind myself not to underestimate how far this girl was willing to go to get what she wanted. And right now, it felt like she wanted me dead.
A few weeks passed. It was hard to tell if the behavior therapy was having any real affect on Annie. The psychologist assured my mother to give it more time, but Mom was hysterical and impatient. So she did the worst thing anyone could do: she went online. She was up all night reading whatever bullshit she could find. From dietary treatment of personality disorders (“Buy our special product!”), to early signs that your child is a serial killer. It was fucking crazy, and it made my mother even crazier. That was when she found Dr. McKinnon. He ran some small, private practice down in Boston, a few hours south of us. His website touted him as an expert in psychology, with particular emphasis on treatment of personality disorders. There was also a link to a news article about the work he’d done with the FBI in catching the Bear River Killer, who he’d gone on to establish a relationship with in order to write the book he’d made sure to advertise on the website. Mom wrote to Dr. McKinnon, and he responded almost immediately, promising that he could help with our situation. This man claimed to have invented a device that could alter the pathways in Annie’s brain that made her the way she was, and rewire them to function normally. For a hefty fee, of course. Crazed and desperate, Mom didn’t hesitate. Drove down that weekend, signed every waver they threw at her, and scheduled surgery for the day after school broke for the summer, just six weeks out. Even booked a hotel room for the few days Annie would be spending in recovery. I thought she was out of her mind for this, and even more so for believing Annie would just allow it to happen. They’d had a blowout when Mom told her what she’d done.
“Why would you do this to me?” Annie kept saying. “You think there’s something wrong with me?”
“Yes, Annie! Yes!”
It hurt my mother to say this, and hurt even more when Annie said, “You raised me. I’m your daughter.” She knew this was the very thing that would hurt Mom the most.
“I didn’t raise you to act like this!” Mom shouted, tears in her eyes.
Annie ignored her. “I wanna go to another school.”
“What? Why? What’s wrong with your school?”
“Everyone thinks I’m crazy. Send me to St. John’s.”
Mom huffed. “I don’t have the money for that, Annie!”
“Cancel the surgery.”
“It’s either the surgery or I’ll have you committed,” Mom snapped. “Which one?”
That shut Annie up faster than I’d ever seen, and off she went to her room. When she was gone, Mom released the sob she’d been holding in as I awkwardly sat across the room, having just witnessed the whole thing. I felt bad, but was glad to see her stand her ground. Although I half expected Annie to run away that night. Or worse. Ended up barricading my bedroom door and kept a grip around the knife under my pillow as I slept.
But the days passed without incident. Annie went to school, walked home, did homework, ate dinner, went to bed. It was unnerving, and I told Harden as much. I’d been seeing her more frequently as the end of the school year drew nearer. Harden, of course, couldn’t talk to me about her sessions with Annie, but she did indulge me on the topic. I went off about how Annie was a monster, and how the world would be better off without her in it. I was surprised when Harden stopped me and explained that I’d had my sister all wrong. How I’d vilified her for so long that I’d stopped seeing her as a person. This frustrated me.
“I’m not telling you that you’re wrong to feel the way you feel about her,” she reassured me. “What I am telling you is that you should try to understand who she really is. Right now, you see her as this…tornado. Just traveling along from town to town, destroying everything in her path for no reason. But I promise you, there is a reason for everything your sister does.”
“Like what?” I muttered.
“Well. Control, mainly. It’s what caused her to act out,” she emphasized with a wave of her hand. I could feel mine throb. “Annie needs to be in control of not just her own life, but everyone in it. And now, maybe for the first time ever, she’s losing a lot of that control. Anything can happen, and that scares her.”
I rejected this. “That’s true for all of us, and most people don’t do what she does.”
Harden gave a nod. “We’re all trying to figure out how to navigate through life. Your sister included. Not all of us were given the proper tools to do so.”
I thought about that for a moment. “Did something happen to her?” I pressed. Harden stared at me sadly, silently declining to answer. “Well what does she want then?”
Harden shrugged. “These are thing you have to ask her. I think you two are long overdue for a conversation. You should really consider doing that soon. Especially if this surgery you mentioned does what it’s supposed to do,” she added with a hint of sarcasm.
I wasn’t sure I was ready for that conversation. If there was more to Annie, I had definitely never seen it. But I knew Harden was right. I was tired of being afraid of her. Of avoiding her in the halls, and at home. Tired of my entire life feeling like it revolved around her. I just wanted to live a normal life. With friends, girlfriends, birthdays, family parties, sleep. I felt like I couldn’t have any of that.
As we reached the last day of school, and the eve of Annie’s surgery, I’d reached the point where I could no longer put off the conversation I was supposed to have with her. I knocked on her door after an uncomfortably silent dinner.
“What?” she muttered.
There was a lump in my throat. “Can I come in?” I had to ask twice because it had barely come out the first time. She opened her door just enough for her body to squeeze through. “What?” she repeated.
“Can we talk?”
She paused, then moved out of the way, allowing me to enter. I’d only been in her room a handful of times since we were kids. It looked exactly the same now as it did back then. The walls were still pink, her old dolls still sitting high on the shelf, and her closet doorframe still had our childhood heights etched into the wood, something Papa used to do with us each time he’d visit. From here, Annie looked like a normal girl. I stood close to her door as she dropped herself onto the bed and looked up at me curiously. I was sweating. My hand, pulsating. I heaved a heavy sigh and decided the best way to do this was to just come right out with what I wanted to say.
“I want to understand you better.”
She didn’t blink. “I don’t think you do.”
“I do. I want to know what it’s like to be you. What goes on in your head. What you’re thinking. Why you do the things you do.”
“I don’t know,” she explained.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“Because I don’t understand myself either,” she said with more force. “You treat me like I’m an experiment, and I don’t appreciate it.”
“Annie, you’re about to get a fucking chip put into your brain,” I said shakily. She shook her head, and so did I. Talking to her could sometimes make you feel like you were the one who was crazy.
I continued. “You know you hurt people. I know you know that. Do you ever feel bad about it?”
“Of course I do,” she said.
It was clear I wasn’t going to get any truth out of her. “I don’t think you do. I think you hate people. I think you hate yourself. That you’re different. So you hurt people. Am I wrong? Do you even love Mom? Or me? Or do you hate us too?”
She looked at me like I was missing something obvious. She got up off the bed and approached me, stopping just a foot away.
“I don’t ‘anything’ you. I don’t ‘anything’ anyone.”
It was probably the most honest thing she’d ever said to me. In the moment, it made my skin crawl. It wasn’t until later that I realized how sad of an admission this was.
———
When Mom and Annie left for Boston early that Friday morning, I’d said nothing to her. Despite my doubts in Dr. McKinnon’s device, part of me was still hoping to receive a brand new Annie. With summer vacation now started and the house to myself for the weekend, I’d slept most of my time away, as though catching up on all the sleep lost throughout my life. I had no idea what to do with myself when I was awake. I’d watch TV, pace, eat, lie on the floor. By weekend’s end, I’d become so bored and anxious that I did something unexpected: I went into Annie’s room. Sat right on her bed where some clothes had been left strewn, nervous that she’d somehow figure out I’d been in there. I thought again about who exactly would be walking through the door when they got back the following morning. It kept me up that night. After a few short hours of sleep, I woke early, made coffee (that I don’t even drink), paced some more, and then waited in the same seat my Papa always sat in, staring at the front door as I mentally prepared myself for its opening. By that point, my mind had already been left to wander too far from reality. I’d imagined Annie bursting through to give me a hug and tell me through sobs that she was sorry for everything she’d done. It had occurred to me in that moment that we’d never actually hugged before, not that I could remember. When the daydream ended, I hated myself for letting her manipulate me when she wasn’t even around.
I heard car doors slam shut. My stomach sank. A few moments later, the front door opened and they entered as casually as if they’d run to the store.
“Oh hi, hun,” Mom beamed. “Didn’t expect to see you there.” She dropped her bags to give me a hug and kiss, and then added, “Annie, come say hi to your brother.” I wanted to puke. I could hardly bring myself to look at her. She was still standing by the door, looking bashful.
“Hi,” she mustered. She was rubbing up and down her arm, looking more uncomfortable than I was.
“Hi,” I replied. I finally looked her in the eyes. They looked different. A small patch of her head had been shaved, and I could see the end of the stitches running down her scalp to the edge of her forehead.
Mom sighed at our silence and started rummaging through kitchen cabinets. “Well, I know it’s lunch time, but I’m making breakfast. Anyone hungry?”
“Can I go take a shower, Mom?” Annie wondered.
“Of course, baby. Just be careful, you can’t wet your head yet, okay?” Annie nodded and quietly disappeared upstairs. Mom waited until she was long gone and then hovered beside me as bacon sizzled on the stove. “They said it could take a while to kick in,” she whispered excitedly. “But I think it’s already working!”
I remained silent as she continued with the eggs and bacon. “Where’s that knife?” she suddenly exclaimed, staring at the wooden block on the counter. The biggest slot was still empty. I wasn’t planning on putting it back just yet; despite my mother’s optimism, I was going to need to see a lot more.
I wouldn’t see much in the weeks following. Annie spent most of the time asleep, an expected side-effect. She was pleasant but quiet at dinner, uttering ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ but not much else. I’d been trying to enjoy summer break as much as I could, shooting pucks out in the driveway, riding my bike around neighboring towns, and even saw a movie with my friend from school. My deal with Mom was that I’d stay home during the day while she was at work, in case Annie needed anything. I wasn’t thrilled about being left alone with her, but I hardly saw much of her at first. Just a couple quick greetings in the hallway, nothing more. Mom was frequently calling to check in but there hadn’t been any issues. Until I shot awake to the booming sound of things crashing against the walls. I ran out into the hall and stood outside Annie’s door, listening as more things got slammed on the other side. She was throwing an absolute tantrum. I was about to enter but thought better of it. Then, as soon as it had begun, it was over. Silence. When I called Mom to tell her what happened, she told me that these kind of outbursts were expected. ‘Emotional fallout’, Dr. McKinnon had told her. I wish someone had told me.
Going forward, I was hyper vigilant. Thought I’d heard Annie through the walls one day, talking to herself. I pressed my ear against it but struggled to make anything out. This would happen again and again, day after day, this very faint whisper among the sound of gasps and coughs. And each day it got louder. So I stood outside her door again, lost in the white noise of the fans and air conditioners buzzing in the distance, Annie’s mumbling creeping from under her door. I wanted nothing to do with her, and yet I was curious. So I knocked. There was a pause.
“Come in,” her little voice called. She was wrapped in her sheets, in the dead summer heat, with only her face poking out. “Hi,” she whispered as I stepped in. I stood right by the door, just as I had the last time she let me in.
“Are you okay?” I asked half-heartedly.
Her face immediately scrunched up in a way I’d never seen it. “No,” she squealed as she shook her head and started to cry. I tried not to show how good it made me feel, to see her suffer. She got louder, so I approached the bed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I stood awkwardly over her.
“I don’t like this!” she choked through sobs and sniffles. “I don’t like it… I don’t like it…”
She reached for my hand and kept repeating herself. I was stunned. “It’s okay,” I said, but didn’t really mean. As I sat there holding her hand for a while, uttering fake assurances, not really caring, I wondered if the way I felt in that moment was the way she’d always felt. If so, I didn’t envy her.
Later that night, it was Annie who knocked on my door. She slipped in like a cat, crawling up onto my bed and sitting there with her legs crossed. It was fairly muggy but she was still in a hoodie and sweatpants.
“Sorry about earlier,” she said.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. I know you hate me. You don’t have to act like you don’t. I just wanted to tell you that you were right. I hate myself, too. And I was jealous of everyone. You asked what it was like to be me,” she began. My ears perked. “It’s like…being a ghost. Floating around. Lost. You don’t remember who you are or what it was like to be alive. You just exist. And nobody even knows you’re there. And when they do see you, they get scared. They don’t want you around. So you stay in the background and watch everyone live their lives. It’s not fair. So you mess with them. For attention. Because you’re bored. Beyond bored. Because for just one second, their screams make you feel like you’re real. You chase that feeling.”
I was blown away, unsure how to respond. I just sat up against my headboard in awe. The knife under my pillow was showing for a second before I shuffled to cover it. “Wow. I wish you could’ve told me that a long time ago. But I don’t hate you, Annie. I’m afraid of you.”
This hit her in the gut. She wrinkled her face and I worried she was going to cry again. Instead, she took a deep breath and smiled, like a switch had been flipped. “Can I throw you a birthday party?” she suddenly blurted.
I was confused. “My birthday’s in two months.”
“I know but…can I do it anyway? I want to do something nice for you. Please?”
I had no idea what to think of this, or of her. But she was staring at me wide-eyed and hopeful. “Okay,” I said, annoyed. She clapped her hands and thanked me with a giant grin on her face.
Later that afternoon, Mom took Annie shopping for decorations and a cake, which felt ridiculous to me. When they returned, they kicked me out of the house for a while so they decorate. I took a long walk around the neighborhood, even stopped at a park to watch a little league baseball game. I’d never played before and was kind of wishing I had. When I got home, I was amazed at what the girls had done. The entire kitchen and living room were lit in a multicolored glow, with lava lamps, strobe lights, and glow sticks all around the room. There was a “Happy Birthday” sign hanging on the center wall, and on the table below was my cake, chocolate with vanilla frosting, already lit with a number sixteen candle. They started singing, and then laughing at how stupid this all was. Annie couldn’t stop. She laughed so hard it almost made her look crazy. Though I wanted no part of this, I put on a face, for my mother. For the first time in our lives, we were going to have a good night together, and I wanted to give her that. We had some awkward chit chat, and even more awkward reminiscing, as Mom told stories of past birthday parties. She’d left out the parts where Annie had found ways to ruin them.
After having cake, Annie ran up to her room real quick and came back down with a small present, wrapped and topped with a bow, handing it to me without a word. It surprised me, but not nearly as much as what was inside. In the little box was a very familiar pin. Papa’s medal. All those years I thought I had lost it, and she fucking took it. I was overcome with a range of emotion and wasn’t sure which was going to come out. The look on my mother’s face said it all, as she was silently begging me not to react negatively. Annie was waiting tentatively. Part of me was ready to yell at her, but when I took the pin out and held it in my hand, the rage went away. I was just so happy to have it. I gave her my best thanks, and she lunged forward, wrapping her arms around me in this long, quiet embrace. Mom watched on with her hands covering the wave of emotion that had hit her. When we settled, we ate more cake and finished the night playing some inappropriate game Annie had convinced Mom to buy. I couldn’t take my eye off my sister. I wanted to catch her in an unsuspecting moment, just to see if the mask would show itself. When her attitude suddenly shifted to a somber state, I couldn’t tell if it was due to my watchful eye or if it was just another instance of emotional fallout.
I’d heard Annie again that night, quietly crying herself to sleep. In fact, I’d been hearing it almost every night. It was becoming less enjoyable. I thought about how if any of this was real then it meant she’d been in a lot of pain for quite some time now. When I realized I was starting to feel bad, I caught myself. I couldn’t let her fool me. And she wasn’t going to give up trying. She’d asked me what else she could do to fix our relationship, and I admitted to her that, even if her surgery had worked, it was hard for me to separate who she was now from who she was before. She understood. The very next day, she dyed blonde streaks into her hair.
As the summer wound down, I hung out with her a little more. Movies on the couch, midnight conversations in our rooms. I tried to limit it. But she was like a puppy, following me around for attention. For all the questions I used to have for her, she’d had that many more for me. Simple things, like my favorite food, or who I’d had a crush on. She even joked about how she’d probably once known this information but didn’t care enough to remember it. I was starting to get tired of playing along. So I put her on the spot and asked about the nightly crying. She seemed hesitant at first but then explained that she can never fall asleep anymore because images of all the pain she’s caused keep her up at night. She said every time she thought she’d remembered everything, something new would pop up. I nearly rolled my eyes. But that small sliver of hope in the back of my mind made me tell her that if it were ever truly bad enough, she could just knock on the wall three times and I’d come to her room and sit with her. She thanked me with another long hug, and I’d hoped to not deal with it any time soon.
She knocked that very night.
On the final week of the summer, my one friend invited me to go to his family’s lake house. Mom wasn’t sure she wanted to leave Annie home alone yet, but both Annie and I assured her she was fine by this point. I guilted Mom over how I’d hardly done anything that summer, and that worked. I was gone for five days of jet skis, hot dogs, and fireworks. I’d told my friend everything that had happened that summer, probably more than I should have. “I should’ve invited her too,” he’d joked. I told him if he had, he’d probably have “accidentally drowned” by now.
When the week ended, they dropped me back home. It was mid-day and Mom would’ve already been at work. I couldn’t imagine how often she’d checked in on Annie. But when I got inside, she was nowhere to be found. I called out, but nothing. I checked upstairs, even opened her door to see if she was asleep. Still nothing. Then I heard this strange buzzing sound coming from downstairs. I followed it to the basement door. It was locked. I banged on it and called Annie’s name. The buzzing continued. Then I heard this painful, horrific scream. I started punching the door repeatedly, shouting. I didn’t know what to do. I kicked the doorknob, over and over until the door cracked at the hinge. When I got it open, I skipped down the stairs and rounded the corner to see Annie with her head on dad’s workbench. She was holding one of the power drills, with the drill inside her head where the scar had been unstitched, right above where the chip had been placed inside her skull. Blood was spattered everywhere.
“I want to go back!” she shrieked. “I want to go back!”
———
Annie was rushed to the hospital, where she stayed for a while. She hadn’t punctured too far, but they wanted to keep an eye on her. When she was released, Mom brought her right back to Dr. McKinnon, who was in awe over what his patient had done. He almost seemed proud as he tried to spin the incident as good news, that at least the device was clearly working. Mom wasn’t so thrilled. She was hoping for a way to lessen its affects on her poor daughter, to which he could only offer medication. Much like her previous doctor had said, McKinnon explained that Annie needed more time. That she wasn’t just learning how to live with those around her, but with herself as well. He reminded us that she was feeling her entire life’s worth of guilt and shame, and said that the best thing we could do for her now was to help her heal. And maybe keep a closer watch in the meantime.
When we got home, Mom found Annie another therapist and transferred her to a new school. Annie was going to go to St. John’s Prep after all. Mom wanted to keep her as happy as possible and figured a fresh start was in order. This, in addition to the medication, calmed Annie down a bit as we got ready for the new school year. I hung out in her room with her through the final days of summer break, just to keep watch. I was told not to talk about the incident, but Annie was the one who brought it up. She’d suddenly asked me how I live with my remorse. I didn’t know how to answer that, it seemed like something for her new therapist. But I told her the best thing she could do was to learn from it. To just be better today than she was yesterday. It was corny and not nearly enough. But she thanked me anyway. Then she asked me if I loved her.
“Not yet,” I said honestly. “But I’d like to someday.” And I meant it.
She hugged me anyway and said, “I’d like that too.” She was happy enough to leave it at that.
On the morning of the first day of school, Mom and Annie were up and moving pretty early, which meant I, too, was awake. St. John’s started earlier than my high school, so they were ready to head out the door before I’d even had breakfast. Mom grabbed her keys off the table and kissed me as I crunched cereal. Annie was standing by the door in her new uniform.
“Don’t forget to lock the door, okay?” Mom said to me. “Have a good first day. Hey—the knife showed up!” She paused at the sight of it. I’d finally put it back into the block that morning.
“It was in the drawer,” I lied. Mom laughed it off and said bye. I looked up to wish Annie good luck but she’d already had her eye on me. I worried that she could tell I was lying, or that she’d seen the knife in my room that day. But she was smiling. She said bye, and the two of them walked out. In that moment, I was actually happy for my sister, and for her new friends who’d have no idea who she used to be. None of that mattered anymore. Annie was a normal girl about to live a normal life. And I was going to live mine.
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2020.11.27 16:12 greenandgreener 31 [F4M] Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship

  1. I watched a video clip before I went to bed last night. A cow lost her calf at birth. Her human then drove hours to another farm after he heard that there’s a calf available for adoption. He met with the farm owner, took the calf back to his farm, and introduced the little one to the momma cow. At first he was worried that they might not get along. But the momma cow accepted the little one. Some Redditors asked me for clarification before: “What’s your take on surrogacy?” These people either claimed that they “liked my profile a lot”, or that they “have been wanting to message me for weeks”. The answer’s written in my profile: “Surrogacy goes against my morals.” Kids, to me, are a gift from God. Not necessarily the Christian God, I guess you could say that they are a gift from the Mother Nature. And so if I was infertile, it would be the natural selection at work. Instead of finding ways, say like surrogacy, to go around it, I’d rather accept it. Wanting kids, to me, is not about wanting to pass my genes on. It’s about wanting to raise kids together, with the person I love the most in the entire world. So, to me, raising biological kids and raising adopted kids, are very much the same. People leave because of infertility. In fact people leave because of all sorts of things. I put my take on surrogacy, and my take on other stuff up front, to avoid getting into a situation like that. It’s a long profile, I do know. I did it on purpose. I did it so the majority would avoid contacting me. “She’s kind of a lot of work. Stay away from her.”
  2. Yesterday I watched a video clip on YouTube. A fox was trapped in the football nets. In the comment section a guy said he was in the same situation once. He saw a fox stuck in the nets while he was in the middle of the gym class. He ran to the fox. The teacher told him to come back, or there will be consequences. He didn’t listen, found a pair of scissors, and cut the nets loose. The kid got detention for a week. I wondered what for. Was it because he didn’t listen to what the teacher said? Or was it because he skipped the gym class without the teacher’s consent? Regardless, I think the kid made the right decision not listening. And I know the fox would agree.
What I am looking for -
Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) -
A single, monogamous, adult man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other)
If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't.
What I like -
Sun
Snow
Trees
Woodworking
Agriculture
Plants
Good food
Hot food
Hot soup
Warm words
Laughing
Wool yarn
Wool clothing
Names with stories, say like, street names
Dining wares
Trains
Photography
Old stories - old movies and shows
Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics
Good arts
Thrift stores
Flea markets
What I am looking for - Long version -
A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships.
Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me.
Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for.
Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. You could join me here. Or I could go there. A solid plan with solid dates would be needed. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for.
Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions.
Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help.
Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get; I do not care and even would very much prefer that, because I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie to me about your sexual past. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. Also, I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices.
Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be fine if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on.
Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you.
Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust.
Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values.
Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that.
Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes.
Pets - I do not have any pets.
Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to.
Tattoos - Sure, why not?
Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings.
Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though.
Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.)
P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if ever there was one, at a time.
TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
submitted by greenandgreener to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 16:05 BaristaFIRE2030 We are 32 years old, make 95k combined, and live in the Midwest working in education.

/moneydiariesACTIVE is woman-centric, which I 100% love and appreciate. However, I am married, and all of our income and spending is combined. Hence, I treat everything in this diary as "our" income and "our" spending. I'm combining our retirement accounts in this list as well, and I've rounded to the nearest hundred dollars, just to make the list easier to read.

Section 1: Assets and Debts
Debt: None! We paid off our student loans this year. We use our credit cards for regular expenses so we can earn cash back and have that extra anti-fraud protection, but we pay them off every week.
Equity: None. We rent.
Retirement Accounts (401a, 457b, Roth IRA): $65,000
Brokerage Accounts (individual stock account and ETF account): $1,600
Emergency Fund: $10,300
Other Cash Savings: $13,100. We're saving up for a new car, which is most of what you see here. We also have sinking funds for travel, clothing, petsitting, veterinary care, car maintenance, medical costs, home supplies, beauty products, Christmas gifts, and any other large or irregular purchases.
Checking Account: $3,900

Section 2: Income Progression
We've both been teaching for just over a decade. Unfortunately, we didn't make much the first few years. My husband can't remember his starting salary, but as an adjunct, I started at about 10k per year. I eventually picked up some other part-time jobs, mostly in education, and was able to make 15-20k per year. I was lucky to live in a Medicaid expansion state, and I lived with my parents for free. (Obviously, this was before I was married.) My work was irregular--if they gave me three classes one semester, they'd give me one the next semester--so throughout my 20s, most of my saving was me preparing to supplement a low-income semester.
After a few years, I became disillusioned with higher education. I moved to be with my then-fiance, who had obtained a full-time position in his preferred field, and began the switch to adult education. I started part-time at a local school while also working online, 10-15 hours per week, for a large education company. At the time, we were making about 65k combined. After a year, I left the online company and became a full-time employee at the local school.
Our combined salary is currently 95k per year, though my husband is up for an important promotion, and I think that will push us to 100k in 2021. Including employer contributions to retirement, our monthly gross income is $8,720. After taxes and insurance, the total is $7,319.
As for side hustles, we're so busy with our full-time jobs that we don't have much time for extra work.
I make a few dollars completing online surveys every month, and my husband is sometimes commissioned for various art projects. We also earn cash from our cash back cards and apps. Most of this extra money is put in our brokerage accounts.

Section 3A: Retirement and Savings
Now, retirement and savings is a huge part of our budget, and that really drops what we spend on regular expenses each month. The current breakdown (again, combined) is:
- $1,116/month in to our 401As (including the employer matches)
- $800/month in to our 457Bs
- $1,000/month in to our Roth IRAs
- $0 - $350/month in to our brokerages, depending on the month's variable expenses
- ~$1,700/month in to cash savings, mostly because we're saving for a new car
This means that we have, on average, $2,600 set aside for our monthly expenses.

Section 3B: Fixed Expenses
Rent: $820. We live in a two-bedroom, pet-friendly apartment with a laundry room and a guaranteed parking spot...in a rural area. Yeah, it's cheap, but there's not much here! Also, when we were moving in together, we actively looked for programs that offered reduced rent to service workers, and we found one that applied to us. If you have any sort of public service job, definitely look for these programs!
Renter's Insurance: $13 for a middle-of-the-road policy.
Cellphones: $109. This charge KILLS ME, but we live in a rural area where only one provider works well, so they gouge you.
Internet: $68.59. See above.
Electric: This varies wildly from month to month because we have electric heat and winter is so cold here. I'd say it's about $35/month in summer, $90/month in winter. The average is around $50, so that's what I'll use in my calculations here.
Streaming Services: $58.46 for Hulu, Netflix, Disney+, ESPN+, Adobe Cloud, and YouTube Premium.
Transportation: < $50. We walk to work.
Pet Supplies: This also varies from month to month, since we get our cat's supplies in a Chewy autoshipment roughly every three months. Looking at our year-to-date calculations in our tracking software, however, I can estimate the monthly costs to $60/month. Her veterinary care and petsitting costs come out of the sinking fund as is necessary.
Patreon: $8 for some of our favorite YouTubers.
Donations: $200; this can include actual monetary donations or the cost of supplies for a gift. For example, a local church asked my husband to build something for them, and he gave it to them free of charge. We put the cost of the supplies in our donations column.
Total Fixed Expenses: ~$1,437.05

Section 3C: Variable Expenses
Some of these will obviously appear in the money diary, but I just wanted to list the general categories we have under "variable" in our budget spreadsheet:
- Pharmacy
- Food
- Fun Money
- Annual Fees (for things like car insurance and Quicken)
- Miscellaneous (postage, wedding license, etc.)

Section 4: Additional Questions
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
It was expected that I get SOME form of education, be that college, trade school, or an apprenticeship. I earned a Master's Degree. Some money came from small inheritances from late loved ones, but with three children in college at the same time, my parents couldn't stretch it far. I earned some scholarships and grants thanks to my high grades, and the rest was funded by student loans, which we just paid off this past summer.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
I think my parents were so stressed about money for most of my childhood that they avoided talking about it as much as possible. They encouraged us to work hard and save money, and they often spoke about my grandparents living through the Great Depression, but it didn't go much further. My parents weren't educated on money in their early adulthood, either, so I'm not shocked. Now that I'm all grown up, I talk to my parents about money all the time. Part of that is me being the "responsible one" who will care for my parents' affairs if they're unable to later in life. My siblings are still willfully ignorant on the topic in general, though one of them has finally started to work on paying off their student loan debt.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My sibling and I worked at a grocery store when we were 16. We wanted some pocket money, of course, but I also had a weird sense that working would be good for me. My parents emphasized that we'd have to quit if it impacted our grades, but we only worked 15-20 hours per week, so we were totally fine.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Never; my parents were MASTERS at hiding how much they struggled when we were young. Looking back at it, I'm a little flabbergasted by how much they managed to do with very little.
Do you worry about money now?
Sort of. My husband and I are DINKs, and we're good savers now, so I rarely worry about the short-term. But long-term catastrophes like major medical expenses and house fires will always scare me a little.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Ahahahaha--yeah, I was about 30. It's not that I didn't TRY to be more responsible when I was in my 20s, but I rarely made enough. I'd make a dent in my student loans one semester, and then they'd cut my course load the next semester, forcing me to stop making payments and live off of savings instead. I started taking investing and finance classes both online and in person around my 30th birthday, and that initiated a better-late-than-never change for me.
Thanks to this recent financial education and my husband's conservative nature, we have a solid emergency fund, which definitely helps us feel secure. We're saving and investing a lot so we can have an even bigger safety net when we leave our current location/jobs.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
I received a thousand dollars here or there from loved ones who passed away, which immediately went toward my tuition. If I had to come up with a total, I'd say it's just under 10k. Some of our investments also pay out dividends, which we've set to automatic reinvestment for now.

Section 5: Money Diary
(WARNING: We're really boring, especially during a pandemic. Also, rest assured that we are always wearing masks at work, stores, and restaurants.)
**Friday** 
8:00am - I wake up with a long-lasting headache still slamming around in my brain, so I take some ibuprofen and curl up on the couch. My husband wakes up, plays with and feeds the cat, and we head off to work.
12:30pm - After an incredibly difficult week, my half-day at work goes really well! Lots of students are succeeding, and our community appointments are quick and easy. I leave in the afternoon, prepare some lunch, and cash out our credit card cash back, which will go on to our December budget.
2:00pm - My husband finishes his day a little early, so we head out to complete some errands. First, we deposit a $175 reimbursement check from our dental insurance; this will balance out to $0 when our $175 bill arrives in a week or so. Then, we return a (very generous, but not workable) wedding gift from some friends, which nets us an eye-bulging $180 gift card. Finally, we top off our gas tank ($23.63) and pick up our groceries for the coming week, including some goodies for a two-person Thanksgiving ($71.77).
5:00pm - We order out once a week, usually on Friday nights, and my husband picks pizza ($34.00). I bake a boxed cake from the pantry, and we watch the newest episode of Great British Baking Show. Yes, I'm aware of the irony.
8:30pm - I start a Zoom call with a friend of a friend to go through specialty product recommendations. When that's finished, I reserve a few books from the library, as they've been closed to the public since March and are currently doing carryout only. Then I take a shower, settle in for a bit of reading, and am asleep shortly after midnight.
Friday Total: $129.40
**Saturday** 
9:30am - Sleeping in feels AMAZING, especially since it's my first day in a week without a headache! This feels less amazing, though, when my boss tells me that several students have tested positive for COVID or may have COVID. Now I'm worried that that's what made me feel sick this past week, so I sign my husband and myself up for a free testing event on Monday. (We like to get tested monthly, anyway.) Then I settle in with a homemade caramel soy cafe au lait made with premium grounds from a small coffee shop and start playing with some spreadsheets.
12:00pm - My husband tells me he isn't crazy about the premium coffee...well, nuts. I make a note to pick up some good ol' Folgers for him this coming week before putting on my makeup. Then I reheat pizza for both of us and spend my afternoon watching YouTube and browsing Reddit. I'm especially interested in French press-related content, since I've always wanted one and that $180 gift card is burning a hole in my pocket. My husband heads out to work on some commissions.
4:00pm - Unfortunately, our town doesn't have a shoe shop, so my husband picks up a pair of boots to replace his current, damaged pair ($151.19); he'll get the damaged pair resoled the next time we travel out of town. I pull $100 from our clothing sinking fund to offset the costs. He feeds our cat and I call my family. Then I cook shakshuka for dinner, which we eat while watching the newest episode of The Mandalorian. After dinner, my husband games with his friends and I browse home listings on Zillow.
10:15pm - I force myself to turn off the computer, take a shower, and crawl in to bed for books and lo-fi music streams. I fall asleep around 1:00am.
Saturday Total: $151.19
**Sunday** 
9:30am - Another great day of sleeping in! This weekend has been good to me. I feed our cat, start the laundry, and run through my skincare routine before making my cafe au lait and checking out some of the once-a-year sales that are popping up. I repurchase a few 20% off staples I'm running low on using our beauty sinking fund ($46.40). The other gifts and items I had planned to buy aren't on sale yet, so I move on to my daily financial check-up. I notice my husband's annual XBox Live payment hasn't come out of our account yet; we realize they have combined some of their products and are converting to a monthly payment cycle. With that figured out, I switch over to Zillow and look at condos I'll never be able to afford.
12:00pm - We eat the last of our leftover pizza. My husband leaves to finish more commissions, and I, slug that I am, keep browsing Zillow and watching YouTube for over an hour. Then I force myself to take a walk--it's cold, but dry and sunny. After my walk, I eat a snack and crawl in to bed with a library book.
5:00pm - For dinner, I make spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread, and we watch a few episodes of Schitts Creek. My husband leaves to help someone with an errand. I wash the dishes and watch a short documentary. When he gets back, we spend some time together, shower, then head off to separate rooms to play games (Fortnite for him, Magic: The Gathering for me).
11:00pm - I've been trying out a few different planner layouts and sizes, and I've landed on a planner I've been using at work as the best option. I purchase a similar planner for my "day to day" plans and notes ($36.92). That finished, I get ready for bed with books and therapeutic list-making. I check my alarms, then hit the hay around midnight.
Sunday Total: $83.32
**Monday** 
5:45am - Our cat starts chewing a cardboard box as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. I'm afraid she'll wake up my husband, so I spend a few minutes with her before tossing the offending box in to the complex hallway, giving her a treat, and crawling back in to bed.
8:15am - The box fiasco makes me sleep in a half hour past my alarm. Still, I have time to run through my usual morning routine: play with and feed the cat, check our financials, check my email, and relax a little before work. I still haven't heard back about a surprise $200 medical bill that may have been coded wrong, and it's shooting me the evil eye from my desk. I ignore it and leave for work with my husband. Between prep work, classes, and meetings, it's an insanely busy morning.
1:30pm - I finally make it home for lunch, which is an air fried potato with some broccoli in cheese sauce on top. I eat while petting my cat and watching the newest episode of Folding Ideas. Then it's back to work; I spend the afternoon lesson planning and sending emails, taking a five minute break to get a COVID test.
6:00pm - No students come for my evening class, so I leave early. My husband and I eat leftovers while watching Schitts Creek. Afterward, I do some chores and post a few items we don't need on our local "buy nothing" Facebook group. Then I eat ice cream while browsing the internet and playing video games. By eleven, I'm showered and in bed with my book.
Monday Total: $0.00
**Tuesday** 
7:45am - It's time for my usual routine--cat, coffee, financials--before I get ready for work. I'm honestly a little exhausted at this point in the semester and can't wait for a four day weekend. I complete a few online surveys for some extra pocket money, and then we're off to work. I spend the rest of the morning prepping for and teaching classes.
1:15pm - I head home and cook a quick lunch. I'm already regretting putting free stuff on the buy nothing group, since I'm getting pinged by half a dozen people asking me to have the items ready at very specific times. In the end, we agree to meet up tomorrow when I'm done working.
5:00pm - The medical office has finally called me back and they inform me that, yes, I owe them $200 after insurance for--get this--having a prescription renewed. Frustrated, I decide to just pull the money from our medical sinking fund and be done with it ($200.00). I also leave work late because one of our students never lines up her transportation correctly. My husband and I treat today as our "takeout night" and get Chinese food, since I'll be home and cooking for the rest of the week ($34.81). We enjoy our food while watching Schitts Creek. I do the dishes, then read articles on the web and watch "morning routine at work" videos for a bit.
10:00pm - Typical night-time routine: play with our cat, shower, crawl in to bed with books and music streams, asleep just after midnight.
Tuesday Total: $234.81
**Wednesday** 
7:45am - I don't have to be at work as early as usual, so after caring for our cat and calling in a prescription, I take my time with my coffee. I also purchase my parents their Christmas present, since it's finally $50 off ($208.95), and I buy a small gift for my sibling's new girlfriend as well ($35.00). (All of our Christmas gifts are covered by a sinking fund.) I drop my medical bill in to the outgoing mail box and leave for my assortment of meetings just after 9:00am.
12:30pm - Our early dismissal leaves us plenty of time to run some quick errands. We pick up our library books, then a medication ($17.44), and since we're already in the grocery store, my husband asks if we can get everything on our list now so we don't have to go out for the rest of the month ($39.16). When we get home, we eat some of our leftover Chinese food. My husband leaves to work on some art for an hour, and I wait for responses from the "buy nothing group" folks. I pass the time by eating a slice of the day-old birthday cake we got from the grocery store at half-price--no regrets there. What I *do* regret is the sudden realization that I accidentally dropped my medical bill in to the rent drop box this morning. I call the property manager (who lives upstairs), and she puts it in the correct box for me.
2:45pm - Finally, it's time to mask up and hand off the buy nothing stuff! One party arrives, the other never does, so about 2 hours after their original meet-up time, I tell them I will just donate the items. In the future, I will probably tell people, "This stuff will be available at X time on X day; I will not hold things or arrange another time." I'm too old and cranky for this. Now partially unburdened, I make my husband and I half-caff cafe au laits and get ready for a night of video games, YouTube, books, and Zillow.
5:30pm - I make breakfast-for-dinner, my husband's favorite. After eating, I do a little cleaning, then engross myself in more YouTube and books until bedtime. I fall asleep around 1:00am.
Wednesday Total: $300.55
**Thursday** 
9:00am - I wake up and try to let my husband sleep in, but the cat wrestles out of my arms and jumps right on his chest. I play with her and feed her. Then my husband sweeps the floor and I start the first of four loads of laundry. (We go through masks and towels like crazy right now.) We get our coffee, and then I read and he plays video games for about an hour. Around 11:00am, it's time for what is simultaneously the most disgusting and satisfying monthly chore: scrubbing the litterbox and accoutrements. Afterward, I wash up, make myself another coffee, and log on to Goldbelly's 20% off sale to purchase some more Christmas gifts with our sinking fund: gluten-free truffles for our friends down south ($55.20), and some cheesecake to share with our friends here ($82.00).
12:00pm - We have the last of our leftover Chinese food for lunch. Honestly, I'm always a little shocked by how much food that restaurant gives us for the price.
4:00pm - I buy one last Christmas gift from Sephora for my best friend ($26.75). Then it's time to start my Thanksgiving-for-two prep: macaroni and cheese, brussels sprouts in bacon, roasted carrots, and turkey-swiss sliders. (I originally wanted to cook up some turkey legs, but there were none to be found in our local store, just whole turkeys and ducks.) Most of the recipes are brand new to me, so I'm really anxious, but my husband helps a bit and it all turns out pretty good! We mask up and do a "contactless food exchange" with our friends living upstairs. We watch Run on Hulu while we eat, then call my parents and his grandparents to chat.
10:00pm - I finish the laundry, play with and feed our cat, shower up, then crawl in to bed with my water bottle and a book. Just before midnight, my COVID-19 test results arrive via text: NEGATIVE. All in all, this was the perfect start to a long weekend.
Thursday Total: $163.95

Section 5: Discretionary Spending Total: $1,063.22
Food and Drink: $179.74
Home and Health: $217.44
Clothes and Beauty: $197.59
Transportation: $23.63
Gifts: $407.90
Other: $36.92
NOTE: $754.30 came from our sinking funds.

Section 6: Reflection
Frankly, I think every money diary will look a bit "off" for the next month or so due to holiday spending. That said, some of our purchases this week were "unusual" things like new boots for my husband and an absurd bill for a 10-minute visit to the doctor's office. As for the gifts, this was spending we had saved and planned for for an entire year. Expenses like these are what prompt us to maintain sinking funds.
I figured we would spend more on our days off, and that was definitely the case. Is some of this having time to shop and browse? Definitely. I probably would've put off purchasing the planner for another month or so if I'd been busier on Sunday, for instance. That said, we're still on track to stay within our budgeted "pockey money" allowances this month, so I'm not upset about it. And our annual saving and spending trends remain relatively consistent. Living in a rural area with next to nothing to do, especially in COVID times, is helping us keep that spending low!
All in all, I think we do a pretty decent job. I really wish we had larger 457b and taxable brokerage contributions, but saving for a car with four wheel drive takes a lot of cash, even when you're buying used. Once we have said car, however, we're hoping to increase those contributions and up our travel savings.
submitted by BaristaFIRE2030 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 14:40 Throwawaytrash63 I'm a heartbroken teen crying for a relationship that lasted only one month

Yes, you read that right, I am one of those dumb teens, but before I tell you more we should give out first an introduction.
First, my name is Robert, I am a 14 year old romanian highschool student and started my new school year. For some reason people always told me that I am a sociopath since I treated people with no emotions, and since I never felt remorse about that I just believed them. That was in 2nd grade I think? Well fast forward a couple of years and I remember that in 5th grade rumors about me being gay started, I thought nothing of it tho since I was one of those people that said that rumors will go and I should just work through it. Then one day one of my classmates punched me in the gut for no reason, for the first time I felt powerless, I couldn't even stand against him and I remember throwing up on the floor, that's when the physical bullying started. I had to work through that for 4 cruel years, getting beat up everyday, the single times I ever felt good were when I was sick and couldn't go to school, I dealt with depression a lot and even suicidal thoughts for a bit and I think that my parents know that too but I don't want to be pinpoint sure. I thought the same would happen in highschool but it somehow didn't?
First let me tell you, here in Romania we do like an exam that decides which highschool we go to, so instead of going to one of the highschools I could possibly see my classmates I began studying hard enough to get into a different highschool, it wasn't the best but it was one of the top so I couldn't complain about it. After the exam the summer started and for some reason I thought that I would be bullied and even considered dropping out of highschool after 2 years if the bullying started.
Then the school year started. It worked in a strange and unfamiliar way by having one week online and one week at school (based on groups of 15). The first week had to be online so I chatted with some of the guys on google meet and found out that they are actually nice, I remember that there was this girl called Mary. To get it straight Mary was a short and skinny girl, even for a 10 year old let alone a 14 year old one, but I thought she looked really cute, I am not tall either so I found myself in her. When we had to give a speech about ourselves based on emotions and stuff we like to do Mary said that she was an introverted person that doesn't like to meet new people, I still remember that because I somewhat felt related to that. Fast forward a couple days it was my time to go to school and I stayed in campus for a lot of time at the dorms and I met this other guy called Stefan. Stefan was your average high school romanian student: tall, handsome, smart and had a very cool personality. We talked for some time before school began and we became friends for the next 5 days in which we mostly stayed in the same room and went into the city to buy stupid stuff we would never use.
Then we had another week online and I somehow started talking to Mary on Friday, then Saturday and finally Sunday. I had to go back to the dorms and I found out that she was staying at the dorms too so we could interact with each other, and since that day we went into town buying stuff and mostly talking about useless subject for hours on top of hours. For the first time in my life I felt... protected?
After that we needed to go back online so that's what we did, my convos with Mary became a lot more heated dare I say? We started talking about subject like sex and stuff like that. And since I am a horny teenager I made a lot of sex jokes and she was fine with those. Then I remember on Monday I did the worst I could ever come up with, I told her I think I have feelings for her, it was something that I guess she was not ready for yet so she didn't respond to that and changed the subject. Then on a Saturday, right before the day we needed to go back to the dorms, I told her some stupid joke since we talked about exorcisation and I remember I told her, precise "Well can't take the demons out of you but give me 20 minutes and I am gonna make you reach orgasm heaven". Yes it was a dumb joke and yes I regret it, but at the moment I thought it was funny and she somehow said that she is interested. I felt somewhat even more attracted to her and I told her if she would hug me, and she said yes.
Then Sunday came around and after one long hour of just talking, I made the move and got my hug. It felt... warm and... soft... and I really loved it. As time progressed we started doing more... crazy stuff I guess you can call it? I started kissing her neck and cheeks, fondled her, she fondled me back, stuff like that. Then one day I remember I just grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye telling her : "Look Mary, you may not know me for a long time, and probably you don't even think we have a connection but, I love you, you are cute and you make me blush everytime I see you" and some more random cheesy stuff that came from my heart at that moment. For the very first time I felt empathy and love for another human being besides my close relatives. After all that stuff I just stopped caring and went in for a kiss. I thought she would reject me but somehow she accepted it and we started kissing. After that I just remember her slowly whispering to me: "I thought you would never start" and after that we just began dating. I went with her everywhere, holding hands, stealing kisses from her, eating at random places we found on google maps, heck we even went into a park and stayed hugged for maybe one to two hours. I felt like another human, I felt happy and I stopped thinking negative once in a while. It was mostly fun and she even made the first step on persuading me into having intercourse with her but the week ended and we had to go back online.
After that my chats with Mary got a lot more lovely and I remember her saying that she wanted to lose her virginity to me. I thought I was ready at that point but I somehow felt very nervous and I tried to actually convince her to not do that. I wanted to make sure she wouldn't regret her first time since I thought that I am not good enough but she still said that she would do it with me without giving it a second thought. I didn't care about me anymore, I thought that if I do what she wants that is the best I could do so I agreed to it.
Well fast forward and there we are, back at the dorms, condoms open, ready to start but she said that she doesn't feel ready yet. I felt somewhat relieved and respected her wish so we just hugged and kissed and stuff like that. After that the whole country went full online so we couldn't meet anymore. The first week was going well and we still continued to do activities together like playing games and watching movies and stuff like that. I continued to love her until one day she just stopped answering my messages. I began getting jealous, a lot, and even became paranoid that she never felt something for me and I thought I just pressured her. Then one day she just wrote me a long message saying that she isn't yet ready for a relationship and that maybe we should drop the whole thing. I was... heartbroken. After all the leading was done by her she said that she isn't rady. I didn't give it much thought but for the next week I just cried, a lot, began crying more and more trying to think of a way to just get over it. Then i realized, i cannot get over it. I still want to hug her and kiss her and hold hands with her while going through the park and stuff like that. Lately we don't even talk at all and when we do talk it's just me being a clingy guy pleading her to give me another chance, that I can do better and that I love her but... she isn't interested anymore. As much as I try I always get the same results, nothing changes, yet i still try. I felt loved and happy and now that I am aware I cannot feel that happines again is just breaking me over. I even tried to get into sports for making me forget about her but... I cannot.
I think I just need advice to get over it, but this is mostly just me crying my ass on reddit, being a stupid teen that can't get the message. Sorry by wasting your time, I should probably just wait and try to forget about her. Maybe in your point of view this is all just cringe and stupid and I totally agree on that part but I just needed to confess this somewhere. Once again, sorry for wasting your time.
submitted by Throwawaytrash63 to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 12:46 Bubbly_Chair_1434 AITA for not telling co-worker's gf about stalker?

I (F) have been at the same company for 16 years. There's this good-looking guy who works downstairs from me. But I haven't pursued him due to the fact that he's dated the same woman for > 10 years.
Our beloved boss died, and we had an interim bitch from hell take the helm for 8 months while HR searched for a suitable replacement. During this time, I had to train, orient & assist this nightmare woman, who is technically incompetent. I have PTSD from working with this ill-tempered, fault-finding scold.
I became closer to Handsome Guy, who was also in BFH's crosshairs. Our bonding over the stress from working with BFH turned into drinks or a cheap bite after work.
Here's the thing: BFH was eventually replaced by a proper manager, and is now working across town. Which is wonderful. However, HGuy has since revealed to me what BFH would do to hom. Stuff like buying a self-help book about "loving a difficult woman" and "accidentally" leaving it on his desk. He has told no one but me about most of this.
There have also been far too many occasions where he "just happens" to bump into her. He's even seen her shopping at his local market, which is not in her neighborhood. With COVID raging, that isn't possible, but she will post to FB groups he reads - obv to put herself in front of him. He also plays an online game where women will try to private chat. One of these "women" sent him a link to a homemade YouTube of some horrible romantic warbly "why can't I have U" piano ballad w stock images of flowers & candles. We think it's her.
I revealed that I also had a couple of "encounters" with her, and each time I bump into her, she looks enraged like how dare I just "happen" to cross her path. I think she's jealous.
Other disturbing stuff has gone on, but the main thing is, he hasn't told his girlfriend because he sees this situation as a personal thing between him, me, and a few trusted co-workers on BFH's shitlist. This is messed up IMO, but I hold my tongue.
However, the situation is getting on my last damn nerve, because lately gf has been acting like she knows something is up & she makes these nasty passive-aggressive comments to her female pals that seem to blame ME for why bf is acting strange & distant. Stuff like: posting pic of celeb who looks like me & saying how horrible her hair looks, or if I post a recipe to FB, she'll make a comment on her own FB like, "why in hell would anyone eat roasted turnips", etc.
So, ultimately, I feel vindictive, like, "screw you, you petty, controlling woman-child - I'm not telling you anything." I'm feeling more and more proprietary about the situation. I'd rather keep it a cosa nostra "work buddies only" thing. Stalking is a delicate & potentially legal issue, and I don't want to involve this woman if she does not appear to be a target.
Am I wrong here?
submitted by Bubbly_Chair_1434 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 10:00 Bubbly_Chair_1434 My friend from work has a stalker, but doesn't tell his gf

I (F) been working at the same small company for sixteen years. There's this good-looking guy who works downstairs from me, in another division. But I've not entertained any thoughts of pursuing him due to the fact that he's been dating the same woman for more than 10 years.
Anyway, our beloved boss died, and we had the interim bitch from hell take the helm for eight whole months while HR searched for a suitable replacement. During this time, I had to train, orient and otherwise assist this nightmare woman, who is technically incompetent. I have PTSD from working with this ill-tempered, fault-finding scold.
During this time, however, I became closer to Handsome Guy, who was also in BFH's crosshairs. He has become quite dear to me, and that closeness, along with bonding over the stress from working with BFH, has turned into sometimes having drinks or even a cheap bite after work.
Here's the thing: BFH was eventually replaced by a proper manager, and is now working across town. Which is wonderful. However, HGuy has since revealed to me that BFH - who has fifteen years on HGuy - made him feel uncomfortable in a sexual manner. She even bought a self-help book about "loving a difficult woman" and "accidentally" left it on his desk. He has told no one but me about much of this stuff.
Thing is, there have been far too many social occasions where he "just happens" to bump into her. He's even seen her shopping at his local supermarket, which is not in her neighborhood. Now, with COVID, that isn't possible, but she will show up on Facebook groups that she knows he reads and will post, obv to put herself in front of him. He also plays an online game, and sometimes anonymous women will try to private chat. One of these "women" even sent him a link to a homemade YouTube video of some horrible romantic warbly "why can't I have you" piano ballad and stock images of flowers and candles. We think it's her.
I revealed that I also had a couple of "encounters" with her, and each time I bump into her, she looks enraged like how dare I just "happen" to cross her path. I think she's jealous.
Other disturbing stuff has gone on, but the main thing is, he hasn't told his girlfriend because he sees this situation as a personal thing between him, me, and a few trusted co-workers who have also run afoul of BFH. Obv this is messed up, in my view, but I hold my tongue.
However, the situation is getting on my last damn nerve, because lately gf has been (on social media) acting like she knows something is up...and she makes these nasty passive-aggressive comments to her female buddies that seem to blame ME for why bf is acting strange and distant. Stuff like: posting picture of celeb who looks like me and saying how horrible her hair looks, or if I post a recipe to FB, she'll make a comment on her own FB like, "why in hell would anyone eat roasted turnips", etc.
So, ultimately, I feel vindictive, like, "screw you, you petty, controlling woman-child - I'm not telling you about the stalker." I'm feeling more and more proprietary about the situation. I feel like keeping it a cosa nostra "work buddies only" thing. Stalking is a delicate issue, and potentially a legal one, and I don't want to involve this woman if she does not appear to be a target. I do think the whole situation is dysfunctional, but I guess it's not my call.
Am I wrong here?
submitted by Bubbly_Chair_1434 to Stalking [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 05:30 YoungGayAndTired 18 and really need some advice/support

(Warning: This post is very long) I’ve never done a post like this before but I’m really in a rut right now.
I’m an 18, almost 19 now, gay male. I grew up Catholic and was extremely repressed (I know that’s a cliche but I think the context is important here.)
My parents are very conservative and traditionalist, they’ve also been at each other’s throats my entire life, and have threatened divorce countless times although they’ve gone through with it.
You could say I didn’t grow up in a very warm or loving environment (you’d be right), and I think it’s really affected me in a negative way.
Not even just my home life, but my life in general. I don’t want to go into my life story, so I’ll keep it brief. I’m really just doing this as a way to vent.
The first 11 years of my life was spent in a very religious community in rural Pennsylvania; Catholic school, church twice a week, bible study and youth camp and all that. I knew from a very early age I was different. For a while I didn’t know what that different was.
Around the 3rd grade I started being called gay and fag. I would ask my parents what this stuff meant and they refused to answer. They basically would tell me it was something I didn’t need to know about and something I shouldn’t want to be called.
Little moments like that are peppered all throughout my early life. Curiosity; about sexuality, about gender, about expression. And that curiosity immediately being shot down, or condemned.
At 11, I moved for the first time, all the way to Florida. This was a completely different environment from that sheltered religious New England vibe of my early youth.
My middle school years were spent at an average, public school, and I basically spent those 3 years trying to catch up with everyone, both in terms of learning (all those bible studies in elementary meant I had missed a lot of important knowledge), and socially (these people were basically an entirely different species from what I knew in PA.)
I sort of had to become a chameleon in a way; blend in to the environment, mimic my surroundings, don’t get into any trouble and don’t call much attention to yourself. I sort of shifted between different friend groups and was known as the tall quiet one.
I think those years were pretty formative because I had to invent a new personality, separate from my own, and separate from my religious one at home. I was bouncing between praise the lord, try to have a social life, and “hey what are these strange feelings I’m having inside.” Of course the first two took center stage.
I moved AGAIN right before high school. Every day I was becoming more closeted, more introverted, more repressed. I think there was just so much change happening all at once, I had no idea how to cope. So, when you move to a new city and your son is appearing to not be handling it well, what can you, as a parent, do to help them feel safe? Doctors, therapy, counseling? No, of course not. Home school!
So yeah, my parents have never been the type to trust medical advice. Instead of getting me treatment to improve my mental health, I got high school stuck in a house that was empty 90% of the day and full of arguments and fights the other 10%.
Before my senior year, I finally hit my breaking point. I felt shattered and empty. I had gained a lot of weight. I barely went outside. Any social skills I might have acquired had vanished. No friends and no life.
I obviously spent a lot of time but myself during this point, and thus I spent much of that time fighting personal battles inside. I had hidden so many of the conflicts I had within myself for so long, now they were all bubbling to the surface. And I realized a lot of things that I basically already knew.
I came to terms with my sexuality. That was perhaps the longest and most arduous battle. I was not the picture perfect depiction of a Christian man my parents wanted. I realized religion was bullshit and everyone I had been taught was a lie. I realized my parents were an incredibly toxic presence. I realized what I wanted to do with my life and how the only way I could achieve these goals was to escape the situation I was in. So senior year rolls around, and I convince my parents to let me enroll in a real, physical high school. I dont know what I was expecting going in, probably just from watching too many movies, but it was kind of a shock when I found out it was so... lonely.
I felt just as lonely in there surrounded by 2000 people my own age as I did when I was trapped in an empty house for three years doing homeschool.
Around the holidays, though, things seemed to be looking up. I had a couple friends, I was doing well in my classes, I lost a ton of weight, and I had my first crush.
Then, reader... we find ourselves in the present day. COVID hits and any progress I might have made was thrown out the window.
Those friends? Ghosted after a few weeks in quarantine. Those grades? I was barely passing. That crush? A straight boy who was NONE TOO PLEASED when I revealed my feelings to him.
So yeah. Starting in about March everything sort of went downhill.
Then in august, I became desperate. And that’s where this story kind of takes a turn.
I started signing up for every hookup app under the sun. For about three months, I was meeting random people in their cars every other night. My first kiss, my first sexual experience, my first anything gay with another person. I went from 0 to 100 in no time.
So about two dozen anonymous hookups later, I felt like shit. Not just mentally, i mean I felt like shit and I think I may have contracted something from one of those guys.
But on the mental side, yeah I was at an all time low. I considered suicide for a little bit. I didn’t attempt it or anything, but I just felt like I was out of options.
I just craved some kind of human connection SO BAD. So I took a break from the hookups and turned to the dating apps. I spent a much just chatting with guys and trying to navigate this area of life I had never approached before.
Well, about a month ago, I finally started dating. I went out with 6 different guys. They vary in terms of success and a couple were flat out disasters (though I’ve gone into enough detail already at this point.) There was always something I did wrong that squandered any chance of a relationship. I wasn’t talkative enough, or I was too talkative, or I was annoying, or I was too boring, etc.
Of course, I thought i was doing just fine. In fact I thought I had hit it off once or twice, like I was experiencing a genuine connection.
Yet, even if they seemed like we were feeling the same way on the date, I would always get a text two days later saying: “sorry, just not my type/not looking for a relationship.” I felt defeated. I really did.
Then I went out with another guy, who I was honestly kind of reluctant about. He didn’t seem like my type at all. He was also an hour away from me, but whatever I’ll take anything at this point.
I trekked an hour out of my way to meet this guy at his house (yeah I know thats like Internet Don’ts 101 to travel to the middle of nowhere to meet someone online.)
He was fine! A really nice guy. Kind of quiet and awkward, not dissimilar from myself. It was probably the first time I felt like a bubbly, extroverted person, just by mere comparison.
Anyway I left after our little “get to know you” (I can’t really call it a date since it was just chilling at his house), and I wasn’t sure what to think.
I would have been perfectly content if he had done the same bit as every other guy and texted me a day later with “sorry not interested.”
But that didn’t happen. We continued chatting over text for a few days after. We became very comfortable talking to each other, and I was starting to kind of like him.
Then he drops the bomb that he loves me. It kind of comes out of nowhere. He loves me and he wants to see me again.
I wasn’t sure how to react honestly. He seemed cool and everything, and I wouldn’t mind hanging out again sometime, but... loved me? No one had ever said they loved me before. No one had ever actively wanted to spend time with me before. So I had to say yes. I had to say, yes, I’ll go out with you again.
And a week later, I went back to that house and we hung out for about 8 hours. What I did come to realize was that he seems far more interested in playing video games than talking to another human being (I was able to meet him on that level by playing the video games with him while chatting, although “playing” is a strong word as I have no idea how to play a video game.)
Then he asks me to be his boyfriend. And I think to myself... how can I say no? He’s been so kind to me. Maybe I don’t feel as strongly for him as he does for me... but he wants to be my boyfriend!! You can’t pass that up.
So, this is where the story ends, and where I turn to you, fellow redditors, for guidance.
It has been two weeks now since we started “going out.” Although we’ve only met in person those two times, he texts me all the time now, and he really, really is a nice guy. But I don’t know if I should continue this or not.
It’s not like I don’t feel anything for him. I care about him and I like him a lot as a person. But I’m not sure if I’m conflating love with flattery. Like, I’m just so flattered by the fact someone would be so compassionate and caring for me, i don’t know if what it is I’m feeling is love or not. Or if these feelings are forced? Like am I just so desperate for love, and the fact that I’m being offered love from someone means I’m forcing myself to be in love?
I’d really like to know if anyone could provide some advice. Not just “keep dating him and see where it goes” or “dump his ass,” like, I want to know what you think about this scenario I have presented to you. The reason I gave all that background information in the beginning of this post is so you can kind of understand where I’m coming from and how my life has led up to this point. Maybe you can relate to my situation or maybe you just think it’s nuts.
Honestly, I applaud you if you’ve actually read this far, you basically just finished a novel. Thank you, Reddit, for letting me get this off my chest. I really needed this outlet.
submitted by YoungGayAndTired to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 05:05 parthaenus9556 27 [M4R] Happy thanksgiving, people of Reddit! How are we enjoying the holidays?

Henderson/Vegas/Online, forgot to put that in the header! My night is winding down and I'm grateful I didn't have to work today. Anyway, a little about me, I'm 27, going on 28 in a month, six feet tall, scruffy faced, and have a voice for radio, or so I've been told. I'm openly bisexual, and monogamous. I have a weakness for sweets and desserts, I love music, and couldn't imagine a world without it, I play a lot of video games whenever I'm not at work, and I love a cozy day in bed. I'm rusty at the whole dating thing, and I'm not without my damage, but I am putting my all into things as best I can. Come have a chat, see if we click.
submitted by parthaenus9556 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 02:57 greenandgreener 31 [F4M] Anywhere/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship

  1. I just watched a video clip on YouTube. A fox was trapped in the football nets. In the comment section a guy said he was in the same situation once. He saw a fox stuck in the nets while he was in the middle of the gym class. He ran to the fox. The teacher told him to come back, or there will be consequences. He didn’t listen, found a pair of scissors, and cut the nets loose. The kid got detention for a week. I wondered what for. Was it because he didn’t listen to what the teacher said? Or was it because he skipped the gym class without the teacher’s consent? Regardless, I think the kid made the right decision not listening. And I know the fox would agree.
  2. I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
What I am looking for -
Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) -
A single, monogamous, adult man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other)
If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't.
What I like -
Sun
Snow
Trees
Woodworking
Agriculture
Plants
Good food
Hot food
Hot soup
Warm words
Laughing
Wool yarn
Wool clothing
Names with stories, say like, street names
Dining wares
Trains
Photography
Old stories - old movies and shows
Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics
Good arts
Thrift stores
Flea markets
What I am looking for - Long version -
A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships.
Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me.
Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for.
Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. You could join me here. Or I could go there. A solid plan with solid dates would be needed. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for.
Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions.
Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help.
Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get; I do not care and even would very much prefer that, because I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie to me about your sexual past. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. Also, I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices.
Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be fine if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on.
Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you.
Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust.
Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values.
Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that.
Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes.
Pets - I do not have any pets.
Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to.
Tattoos - Sure, why not?
Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings.
Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though.
Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.)
P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if ever there was one, at a time.
TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
submitted by greenandgreener to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 02:09 PhoenixWolfe1523 28 female looking for something beyond this pandemic stress

Okay. I'm currently looking for a girlfriend. I haven't stopped yet and will likely keep trying until I found the right one that I can dive right in (emotionally speaking). I'm a pansexual-demiromantic cis female, looking for a girl to get to know, see where it leads and in the long run date. Preferably online since the pandemic and I do prefer being social at a good distance too (see what I did there). Anywhere tends to be narrowed down to Australia, New Zealand, UK or USA. Canada sure if you can take the uneven timezone.
I love to read and spend most of my time reading (not a fan of scifi, nope you can't change my mind or convert me). I also enjoy looking at dog pictures and dog videos. My dream is to own a library/cafe where dogs and cats and any animal (especially at shelters) get in and enjoy being around people (for a higher chance of getting adopted).
Looking forward to knowing a female (lgbtq+ are super fine), around 18 to 34, who doesn't mind the distance (especially in the long run), from any of the countries I mentioned above or if you wanna be specific, go ahead. Someone I can talk with. Let's discuss things that would lessen the stress of this pandemic.
If you made it this far, send me a chat or comment below. Thank you 🐕🐈🐖 have a pet pig. I love them too.
submitted by PhoenixWolfe1523 to asexualdating [link] [comments]