Free Christian dating

ExChristian Women

2016.08.29 00:06 throwawaytriggers ExChristian Women

**Welcome to ExChristian Women!** This subreddit is for all the brave ExChristian Women to have a community to discuss our experiences of leaving the faith and building a life outside of it.
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2015.11.09 17:50 A safe place for Conservative Orthodox and Catholic believers.

A place for Conservative users from the Cathodox camp to discuss politics, religion, and anything in-between from love and dating to history and science. Although every Christian is welcome we do not profess the 5 Solas or promote Protestantism.
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2018.06.01 20:48 SkywalkerVSJediOrder Reddit's first!

Admins think its funny to copy Digg.
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2020.12.01 01:08 greenandgreener 31 [F4M] Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship

My Reddit inbox collects all sorts of messages. Some of them are really short. Like, “.”, “hi”, “PM me.”, Rate my dick.”, “How are you?”, “What are you wearing now?”, “How do you spend your time during lockdowns?”, “I know it’s just a short introduction. If you reply, I will write more.”, “I will pay you a weekly allowance if you talk to me. My ex left me.” Some of them, on the other hand, are pretty long. I will never forget the person who began his message with “it’s tough to reply to long posts, it makes it inappropriate to be brief”.
There’s a batch of messages that specifically related to virginity:
“You virgin?”
“Let’s get this out of the way first: Are you a virgin?”
“I have had sex, but I’m looking for a virgin. Are you a virgin?”
“Just stumbled across your post, wanna wish you luck in your search. But I’m only interested in virgins, and it seems like you are not.”
“Sorry I’m not interested in someone who has no experience in sex. I just saw your post on Reddit, good luck.”
“I’m a virgin. Call me a loser, call me a weirdo, call me an incel, call me anything you want. I don’t care.”
“It would be a lie to say that I don’t want to be with a fellow virgin. But if you are not, I would get over it.”
Virgins are virgins. Being a virgin doesn’t automatically make a person a lose weirdo/ incel. But people judge virgins harshly. People judge things and people that they are in no place to judge. We live in a world where some virgins feel the need to lie to other people. “What? No. I have slept with a bunch of girls.” As if it’s a competition, or a game. The higher the number is, the more masculine you are. I’m okay with virgins wanting to date only virgins. I’m not okay with non virgins wanting to date only virgins. It’s only fair if you have lived up to what you are offering. Virginity means nothing to some people, everything to some other people. I only care that people who want a casual hookup, get that. It’s not a crime. Unless you hook up with an underaged girl. And those who want to remain a virgin, get the peace to remain a virgin until they are ready. It’s just a personal choice. Do whatever you feel like. I watched a documentary last week. It was about birds. Some birds chose to mate with only one partner. Even after the death of their original mate. I admired their attitude.
What I’m looking for
Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) -
A single, monogamous, adult man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other)
If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't.
What I like -
Sun
Snow
Trees
Woodworking
Agriculture
Plants
Good food
Hot food
Hot soup
Warm words
Laughing
Wool yarn
Wool clothing
Names with stories, say like, street names
Dining wares
Trains
Photography
Old stories - old movies and shows
Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics
Good arts
Thrift stores
Flea markets
What I am looking for - Long version -
A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships.
Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me.
Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for.
Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. You could join me here. Or I could go there. A solid plan with solid dates would be needed. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for.
Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions.
Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help.
Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get; I do not care and even would very much prefer that, because I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie to me about your sexual past. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. Also, I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices.
Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be fine if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on.
Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you.
Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust.
Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values.
Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that.
Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes.
Pets - I do not have any pets.
Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to.
Tattoos - Sure, why not?
Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings.
Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though.
Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.)
P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if even there was one, at a time.
TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
submitted by greenandgreener to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 23:43 OblivionXY My GirlFriend whom I Love So Much, Break Up With Me Cause I Don't Have A Relationship With God.

We started dating few months back now during the *lock down* truly she mention that she can't marry someone who is not a christian, well, I ignorantly did not pay attention to that cause I basically consider it a naive reason not to allow love manifest, little did I know it will backfire. Well, I made it know to her that I'm a free thinker but I'm gonna work towards the whole christianity of a thing, but I never did because it's just not a thing for me and I give little f about that. So, recently I have been feeling insecure about her movement and of course she doesn't like that, 95% of her friends are guys she hang out with them and talk to them and also invite them over to her own apartment where she stays alone. Well, I tried not to allow such assumption of cheating mess with my mind but unfortunately it did mess with my mind so I started complaining and trying to set rules base on my own standard and I totally agree that's wrong for me to do and very evil also, cause I realise that me trying to cage her. Long story short, I was tired of having my head messed up, then I accused her of going to a club with a male friend on friday, she denied but I'm pretty sure that was it, she claim to go for night vigil in her church, I called just to say hi and ask if she's save that night but she did not respond and later when she responded, I know what a vigil will sound like so it was basically quite and i'm sure if anyone is in a church vigil, you need to work at least 1KM to get that silence. Not a problem so I asked if I can also join the vigil since she has been looking for a way to invite me to a church service, she was basically talking about something else meaning she's just not interested in my coming and that automatically put ideas in my head. So, I broke up with her that night. Now here is what i'm trying to figure out: She called me the second day, not to try and get us back together but rather to tell me sorry for putting ideas in my head which made me insecure, secondly she did not confirm that she was in church that day so she ignored that details from the whole conversation. Now, I called her today to apologize for overreacting and not waiting for a while before making such a terrible decision. She told me she's undersand we love each other but she's putting God first in her life and she can't be with me basically until 1. I have a relationship with "God" 2. I stop complaining about her going out with her male friends and inviting them to her house. I said I agree with the no. 2 but no. 1 is not in my capacity, she then told me to find God and later come find her or she can be my friend and walk me through it and if I show positive vibe base on that then she will reconsider me, so I started begging and begging, she then said she has to think about it and I should give her time. My question to be precise is "Should I actually get back into the relationship?" I actually do love her and want to marry her but i'm not sure what's going on again.
submitted by OblivionXY to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 23:33 greenandgreener 31 [F4M] Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship

Where would be a good place to live? China has infiltrated almost all Australian industries. A big part of the US is heavily controlled by the CCP. The UK’s Operation Moonshot screams stupidity. Slovakia tested almost everyone. Austria, and Czech are going to do what Slovakia did. Denmark wanted to create a roadmap for mandatory vaccination. It was called off only because Danes protested for days. Under severe pressures, Sweden had recently backed down and started toughen up restrictions. Japan is still dumping contaminated nuclear water into the ocean. Many other Asian countries don’t even allow freedom of speech. Germany fired water cannons at protesters. We are marching toward an uncharted territory. And it’s very difficult to navigate the big, dark, crazy world by yourself.
What I am looking for -
Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) -
A single, monogamous, adult man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other)
If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't.
What I like -
Sun
Snow
Trees
Woodworking
Agriculture
Plants
Good food
Hot food
Hot soup
Warm words
Laughing
Wool yarn
Wool clothing
Names with stories, say like, street names
Dining wares
Trains
Photography
Old stories - old movies and shows
Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics
Good arts
Thrift stores
Flea markets
What I am looking for - Long version -
A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships.
Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me.
Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for.
Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. You could join me here. Or I could go there. A solid plan with solid dates would be needed. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for.
Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions.
Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help.
Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get; I do not care and even would very much prefer that, because I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie to me about your sexual past. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. Also, I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices.
Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be fine if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on.
Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you.
Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust.
Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values.
Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that.
Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes.
Pets - I do not have any pets.
Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to.
Tattoos - Sure, why not?
Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings.
Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though.
Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history.
P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if ever there was one, at a time.
TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
submitted by greenandgreener to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 16:49 partypastor Unreached People Group of the Week - the Larke in Nepal

So I picked a people group really small today. My hope is that there is at least one person praying per person in the people group, so thats only 200 of us, so hopefully its even more! Meet the Larke in Nepal!
How Unreached Are They?
There are only 200 of them in the whole world, all in Nepal and 0% of them know Christ. So at best, there are a few believers but it is unlikely.
There are no reported translations of the Bible in their language (Nubri)
What are they like?
Typical qualification that all people groups can't be summed up in small paragraphs and this is an over generalization.
So it looks like this people group is one of three distinct people groups who speaks Nubri. That means its kinda hard to find information on just the tiny people group but here is information on general Nubri speakers
In 1992, there were reportedly 1,300 speakers of the Kutang Ghale language living in the northern Gorkha District of the Gandaki Zone in central Nepal. They inhabit the Buri Gandaki Valley, from Nyak northward to and including the village of Prok. The Kutang Ghale inhabit villages up to 4,100 metres (13,450 ft.) above sea level.
The authorities in Nepal do not acknowledge any of the three distinct Ghale language groups; they have, rather, included them as part of the large Gurung ethnicity, which numbered more than 449,000 people at the time of the 1991 census. Although there are definite historical and cultural links between the Ghale and the main body of Gurung people, their languages are markedly different. Linguistic research into the Kutang Ghale language, which is part of the Tamangic branch of Tibeto-Burman, has found that Kutang Ghale shares only between 39 per cent and 49 per cent lexical similarity with Southern Ghale, between 45 per cent and 61 per cent with Northern Ghale, and only 18 per cent with the variety of Gurung spoken in the Banspur area. By way of comparison, English and German share a 60 per cent lexical similarity. When people from one Ghale group try to communicate with other Ghale people they cannot, and they must revert to Nepali to be understood. There is surprising diversity even among the three reported dialects of Kutang Ghale (Bihi, Chak and Rana). These three dialects reportedly share only a 62 per cent to 76 per cent lexical similarity with each other. The Kutang Ghale call their language the 'thieves' language' because they think they have stolen vocabulary from many other neighbouring languages. The Ghale languages were studied by the Christian missionary Larry Seaward between 1971 and 1973. He compiled a 276-page Ghale dictionary, which has not yet been published. Joshua Project
And this
The Nubri people are said to have settled in the valley from Tibet about 400 years ago. There are now roughly 2000 people throughout Nubri Valley, which extends from Kutang in the lower valley , where they speak Kuke, up to Samdo in the upper valley, where they speak a variety much closer to Kyirong Tibetan. Hong Kong University
Thats it. Thats all I can find.
There is also this video from Asia Harvest.
History Lesson
The history of the three Ghale language groups is uncertain, although one source states, 'According to their legend, the Gurung were a wandering tribe that traversed west across Tibet prior to their entry into Mustang. Their Tibetan sojourn pre-dates the introduction of Buddhism there (7th century) as the Gurung religious traditions are basically animist.... From Mustang, Gurungs moved to Manang where they came under the domination of Klye (Ghale) chiefs, later migrants from Tibet.... In the early 16th century, the Ghale ruler of Lamjung was defeated and replaced by a Thakuri prince from Kaski.'
The term 'Ghale' therefore refers to a ruling class of Gurung people, who appear to have come from Tibet at a different time than the Gurung and brought with them a different language and different customs. There are also historical records of Ghale rulers among the neighbouring Tamang tribe. Joshua Project
What do they believe?
All Kutang Ghale people believe in Tibetan Buddhism. They have their own lamas (no not llamas, sorry), and their ceremonies and rituals are all Buddhist.
How Can We Pray For Them?
Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved. (Romans 10:1)
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Here are the previous weeks threads on the UPG of the Week for Reformed
People Group Country Date Posted Beliefs
Larke Nepal 11/30/2020 Buddhist
Korean (Reached People Group) South Korea 11/23/2020 Christian
Qashqa'i Iran 11/16/2020 Islam
Saaroa Taiwan 11/02/2020 Animism (?)
Urdu Ireland 10/26/2020 Islam
Wolof Senegal 10/19/2020 Islam
Turkish Cypriot Cyprus 10/12/2020 Islam
Awjilah Libya 10/05/2020 Islam
Manihar India 09/28/2020 Islam
Tianba China 09/21/2020 Animism
Arab Qatar 09/14/2020 Islam
Turkmen Turkmenistan 08/31/2020 Islam
Lyuli Uzbekistan 08/24/2020 Islam
Kyrgyz Kyrgyzstan 08/17/2020 Islam*
Yakut Russia 08/10/2020 Animism*
Northern Katang Laos 08/03/2020 Animism
Uyghur Kazakhstan 07/27/2020 Islam
Syrian (Levant Arabs) Syria 07/20/2020 Islam
Teda Chad 07/06/2020 Islam
Kotokoli Togo 06/28/2020 Islam
Hobyot Oman 06/22/2020 Islam
Moor Sri Lanka 06/15/2020 Islam
Shaikh Bangladesh 06/08/2020 Islam
Khalka Mongols Mongolia 06/01/2020 Animism
Comorian France 05/18/2020 Islam
Bedouin Jordan 05/11/2020 Islam
Muslim Thai Thailand 05/04/2020 Islam
Nubian Uganda 04/27/2020 Islam
Kraol Cambodia 04/20/2020 Animism
Tay Vietnam 04/13/2020 Animism
Yoruk Turkey 04/06/2020 Islam
Xiaoliangshn Nosu China 03/30/2020 Animism
Jat (Muslim) Pakistan 03/23/2020 Islam
Beja Bedawi Egypt 03/16/2020 Islam
Tunisian Arabs Tunisia 03/09/2020 Islam
Yemeni Arab Yemen 03/02/2020 Islam
Bosniak Croatia 02/24/2020 Islam
Azerbaijani Georgia 02/17/2020 Islam
Zaza-Dimli Turkey 02/10/2020 Islam
Huichol Mexico 02/03/2020 Animism
Kampuchea Krom Cambodia 01/27/2020 Buddhism
Lao Krang Thailand 01/20/2020 Buddhism
Gilaki Iran 01/13/2020 Islam
Uyghurs China 01/01/2020 Islam
Israeli Jews Israel 12/18/2019 Judaism
Drukpa Bhutan 12/11/2019 Buddhism
Malay Malaysia 12/04/2019 Islam
Lisu (Reached People Group) China 11/27/2019 Christian
Dhobi India 11/20/2019 Hinduism
Burmese Myanmar 11/13/2019 Buddhism
Minyak Tibetans China 11/06/2019 Buddhism
Yazidi Iraq 10/30/2019 Animism*
Turks Turkey 10/23/2019 Islam
Kurds Syria 10/16/2019 Islam
Kalmyks Russia 10/09/2019 Buddhism
Luli Tajikistan 10/02/2019 Islam
Japanese Japan 09/25/2019 Shintoism
Urak Lawoi Thailand 09/18/2019 Animism
Kim Mun Vietnam 09/11/2019 Animism
Tai Lue Laos 09/04/2019 Bhuddism
Sundanese Indonesia 08/28/2019 Islam
Central Atlas Berbers Morocco 08/21/2019 Islam
Fulani Nigeria 08/14/2019 Islam
Sonar India 08/07/2019 Hinduism
Pattani Malay Thailand 08/02/2019 Islam
Thai Thailand 07/26/2019 Buddhism
Baloch Pakistan 07/19/2019 Islam
Alawite Syria 07/12/2019 Islam*
Huasa Cote d'Ivoire 06/28/2019 Islam
Chhetri Nepal 06/21/2019 Hinduism
Beja Sudan 06/14/2019 Islam
Yinou China 06/07/2019 Animism
Kazakh Kazakhstan 05/31/2019 Islam
Hui China 05/24/2019 Islam
Masalit Sudan 05/17/2019 Islam
As always, if you have experience in this country or with this people group, feel free to comment or PM me and I will happily edit it so that we can better pray for these peoples!
Here is a list of definitions in case you wonder what exactly I mean by words like "Unreached"
submitted by partypastor to Reformed [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 16:32 splitcrowsoup *** Spoilers *** Priest is a Project. The Brotzman Siblings are a Project. Vogel had a different Project Name. Ken is Alpha, the First New Project. Speculation on Susie Boreton.

*** Extremely Heavy Spoiler Warning ***
Late and likely highly useless, considering the obvious. Most of this is speculation and extrapolation. I've put my theories in order of most convincing to pure speculation, aside from the explanation of the Salmon of Doubt cover below. Many insignias show up in season 1, but these are plainly visible unless purposely obscured.
However, here we go. It's a long one.
Following this post, I will add the cover that I reference, for clarity: The image was released between seasons 1 and 2. The green symbols we see are Projects we know, Incubus, Icarus and Marzanna - The Rowdy 3, Dirk and Bart. The fully blue insignia is Lamia, Mona Wilder, and is the only fully blue. Then there are fully red symbols for a nameless Project, Valkyres and Molloch. We know that Molloch is Francis. Following that we have several symbols with red question marks alongside them: Abaddon, Satyr, Bogle and Vesta. Lastly, there is a half blue and half red insignia that is one of a kind - Banshee.
What we can infer:
  1. Green Insignias are Projects that we were introduced to and have confirmation that they are Ex-Blackwing anomalies - we see them use their powers for their intended purpose after confirming their identities.
  2. The Blue Insignia, Project Lamia, is Mona Wilder - Mona was in the first season as the stress toy, jacket and in the Seven Flowers Commercial. I believe this means that Blue Insignias mean that the Project was seen in the first season, we see them use (or using) their power - but we do not have confirmation of their identity until the second season.
  3. Red Insignias, most notably: Project Molloch. Only present in the second season, we have confirmation of his identity and of his power as well as see it in use. I believe that Red represents Projects we only see use their powers in the second season and have confirmation of their identities, but not complete confirmation on everything about them. However, this leaves the question as to who Valkyres and Nameless Insignia 1 is/are. *Important for The Brotzman Siblings.
  4. If we infer that Red means "Project present in second season", this could mean that Red Question Marks represent Projects that do not confirm their identity, allow for speculation or questioning. *Important for Mr. Priest and, perhaps Vogel.
  5. If all of this extrapolation is true, this could mean that the combination insignia for Project Banshee represents a Project that we see during the first season, but only see their power in the second. *Important for Suzie Boreton.
Things to think about, yes. We move on.
I believe that Priest is a Project, namely project Abbadon.
Basic:
He mentions that he brought in 30 of the 42 subjects - not which ones, or what he did before joining Black Wing. In fact, all of his information was classified after the Diamond Incident in 1996 (before Dirk and the Rowdy 3 escaped Black Wing in 2000). We have no concrete evidence on who Osmund Priest actually is - it may be notable that he uses a Luger, maybe not.
Why:
I believe that Priest is a Holistic Hunter, or a Holistic Collector. He has already proved to be an unstoppable force when it comes to collecting his prey, bested only by Bart and Panto - who don't kill him. Panto slices his face down the center (important). He is impossibly good at his job and seems to genuinely enjoy it. He also, like other Projects we see, seem to come when "called" by the universe - appearing only when he was needed to hunt down other Projects, and seems to disappear when not actively hunting.
Project Abaddon -
Abaddon, in Hebrew texts, is described as literally "destruction". In Christian texts, however, Abaddon is described as an individual - Quote: "Abaddon, however, is an angel not of Satan but of God, performing his work of destruction at God's bidding". Abaddon is also described as being "the Angel with the key to the abyss". In another text Abaddon is described as originally the angel Muriel, whom was tasked with collecting the earth that would be turned into Adam. After the collection, Abaddon was given the role of a guardian - "Everyone, including the angels, demons, and corporeal entities feared him." He also plays a role in the Final Judgement, where he is the one who will escort the souls to the valley.
The themes here are obvious. Collecting, guiding by force, escorting, taking commands from a higher power and, ironically - religion. I don't need to push the implied wordplay with his name.
I also find it interesting in the scene with Friedkin he mentions that Hugo doesn't read -any- files (perhaps even classified ones) Then he starts a line by saying "Mr. Friedkin, I am..." and then describes himself, however it is notable that the follow up line seems to be a direct break from his line of thought, almost like he wanted to say something else, but didn't.
I also think that the Salmon of Doubt cover with the Project Insignias listed is in chronological order, or at least partially. Speculation, but Abaddon is second in the image with other caught Projects - Namely, directly following Project Incubus, which we know Priest himself brought in and directly before Bart, which we also know he brought in. Perhaps we can assume that Priest brought in the Rowdy 3 to show his supernatural ability to collect his prey - considering Riggins used 40 men in an attempt to get the Original Rowdy 3. That is considerable (perhaps preternatural) ability - then used that same skill to gather Bart, as he knows exactly how to handle her when they interact in Season 2. Notably, this is before Ken interacts with Bart and changes her mindset about her Holistic Power, which is what causes her to pair up with Panto in the first place.
Finally, drawing back to Bart and Panto marking his face (which he survives, most notably). The insignia for Abaddon is a human figure with a straight line going down the center of the picture. Project Abaddon is also one of the Insignias that features an ominous Red Question Mark, meaning we don't have confirmation of their powers (Collecting, in the case of Abaddon) but we do have strong hints about their abilities and identities. Interesting.
I believe that The Brotzman Siblings are, or are descended from, Project Valkyres.
Basic: The Valkyres symbol is Red - this I believe means that we see their power used in the second season and know their identities, however not all the information is connected directly. The Brotzman Siblings both manifest a power together from pararibulitus.
Note the name and insignia. No other Project is pluralized incorrectly, even Incubus. This implies that their party number is not notable, or because they operate as one they aren't differentiated - at least the Originals do. Todd and Amanda are often apart, sometimes together. The Valkyres insignia is two overlapping triangles - together, but not directly connected at the head, like Incubus.
Also, consider that Valkyres are seen on battlefields - they are drawn to conflict by nature. Choosing those who live and die, as well as ferry them to the afterlife. Amanda has premonitions of war and death in the second season. She is directly tied to violent fate, much like the Valkyrie Wakti tells her that "There is a war coming in your world" and that "People like you used to be tied to something greater" - perhaps meaning the five generations of Brotzmans that have suffered with pararibulitus. If Amanda and Todd's family were, somewhere in the past, having visions of the future - that would surely attract the attention of Blackwing. Perhaps enough of an interest that The Sibling's parents would go nearly bankrupt to protect and cure their son - as well as pay for their daughter to live away from home after she developed pararibulitus - incase someone decided to come calling for them.
They also rally warriors (Project Incubus and Project Icarus), care for them and often pair with a particular warrior they take a shine to. Todd gets Dirk back on track throughout the season, Amanda literally picks the Rowdy 3 up and brings them to another world after they are near death.
In the episode where Amanda first Manifests her Power a song featuring Flight of the Valkyries is heard - Todd is walking into the concert, Amanda is having her first real session with Wakti. I believe that Suzie's spell counteracted Todd's attack, severing his connection with his sister for the moment.
Every time Amanda uses her power in Wendimoor, Todd has an attack. When they finally reunite, both of them have the same power. Together, but not the same - an overlap.
The following is loose speculation based on both The Salmon of Doubt comic and the Insignias:
I believe that Vogel was picked up much later than the Rowdy 3, he originally had another Project name and purpose.
I believe that Vogel used to be, or is, Project Vesta and was added to Project Incubus (as we know he was) as either a failed control, or a leash.
Vesta is the Roman Goddess of Hearth and Home, as well as family closeness - stoking her fire in the hearth was said to strengthen family ties, and give the family strength. Both the oldest and youngest God - due to her father eating her first as she was oldest, she was the last to be freed from Kronos' belly by her brother Jupiter. She was very desirable, but begged to be allowed to remain forever a virgin - her wish was granted.
Vogel is the youngest appearing of the Rowdy 3, much like Vesta was in prime maidenhood in appearance. Vogel is also abhorrent toward sex, his exclamation when Amanda says they should pretend to date is representative of that. However, we know that the Rowdy 3 aren't against sex or direct romantic physical affection, as Martin kisses Sally Mills in the Salmon of Doubt comic quite steamily. He also offers two familial roles when Amanda asks him "Son" and "Grandson" - both imply that he wouldn't currently be a "reproducing" figure in the family, like "Father", for example, even though he is older than Amanda.
Vogel is extremely distraught when separated from project Incubus - to the point of risky behavior to get to them, almost ignoring Amanda's command and losing himself to Priest in the name of rejoining his family. However, it is notable that he was separated at all - the other three remain as one unit, never apart, only Vogel is singled out and sent with Amanda. Perhaps because he was never part of the initial Project Incubus, or because it fundamentally is different than them in some way. In addition, while the Incubus insignia does have four bodies attached to one head, the Incubus holding cell, there are only three holding chambers... No extra space for Vogel. Was the insignia changed when Vogel was added?
It is also interesting that Vogel seems to be at least mildly functional without Martin's guide, while Gripps and Cross banter semi-senselessly and don't accomplish much alone. Yes, Vogel still looks to Amanda's guidance, but he doesn't constantly motor mouth. It is also interesting that Vogel seems to be aging at a normal rate, as when we see him for the first time in The Salmon of Doubt he is very young, likely a young teenager, slightly older than Dirk's 10 years old.
I believe that Vogel is an imitator, or more likely, takes on characteristics of his presumed Family Unit. A Holistic Son? A finder of families brought together by the universe and bound together by fate?
It is also notable, that if the Salmon of Doubt cover that I keep referencing is actually laid out in chronological order - Vesta is the last project captured, features that infamous Red Question Mark. This means that we see the Project's power used, but specifics are only hinted at, or danced around.
In The Salmon of Doubt we see the Rowdy 3 (with a very young Vogel), they are escaping Blackwing, their chaos creating an opening for Dirk (and presumably Bart) to free themselves as well. The original Incubus 3 are very similar to the age we see them now, almost completely the same - but Vogel is very obviously a teen. Riggins (considerably younger in appearance) mentions that he knew putting Vogel with Project Incubus was a mistake because it was like adding napalm to TNT - a force that strengthens a family, stokes their fire and moves them to action. The added visual of Vogel as napalm - a gelled together incendiary, fire that sticks is also interesting.
Another Blackwing Operative refers to Vogel as "Subject Vogel" and "Project Incubus" as two separate entities. This means that Vogel was not in Blackwing for long before being added to Project Incubus, against Riggin's best interests. However, Riggins having a different opinion of Vogel has to be considered - Riggins has had time to from an opinion which means that upon capture Vogel had a period where he was a separated entity from Project Incubus. Vogel was not immediately sorted to being with Project Incubus - I believe that's because Vogel didn't have the same powers as Martin, Cross and Gripps initially and only developed them after being introduced to his new family, maybe to check his assimilation powers, or to see if he could control the Vampires through the familial bond he can create.
Also, I think that Vogel was the last Project obtained - Vesta is the last Project listed. The Rowdy 3's escape happened when Dirk was 10, in the year 2000. Surely a large scale failure like this, lost assets and massive property damage, would cause Blackwing's already flensed down funding to be cut yet again and force them to shutter the operation completely.
I also think that Priest's Diamond Incident that took place in 1996 had something to do with Vogel's capture. The timing would be right for the end of active Project capture, as Priest was likely relieved of duty, making Vesta the last collection - to support this, Priest isn't present when Dirk, Bart and the Rowdy 3 escape as far as we know (otherwise I doubt the escape would have been as sucessful). This would also give only four years from Vogel being captured and the Rowdy 3 escaping in 2000 - enough time to figure out how Vogel works and decide to put him in Project Incubus as a control. If Dirk was given to Riggins when he was six in 96, or five in 95 that would give him four or five years in Blackwing and would make him about 10 in the year 2000.
Vogel doesn't offer to be Amanda's brother, which I find interesting. Vogel is also extremely afraid of Priest, and extremely distressed about the Rowdy 3 being with him, more than any other character - other than Dirk. Perhaps Vogel's actual family was the Diamond Incident? Is that why Vesta's insignia bears a resemblance to a head and neck with a dividing line? Or is the insignia more reminiscent of a full female figure, representing the Project's namesake?
About Ken:
Ken is Project Alpha, he is added to the roster of current Projects in cannon. This is assumed to be a flub on the eternal himbo Hugo's part - however, Hugo does say something interesting along the lines of "You must be important because you survived with Project Marzanna" - which is actually true and utterly remarkable. The only other companion that Bart has is Panto, who does die. Only Ken has been around her for a considerable amount of time and lived.
I believe that Ken is an anomaly - and I think he is something of a Holistic Hacker. Considering his actual work, that is not far from the tangible truth. Ken finds a way to survive, excell and adapt in no matter what situation he is put in - and he will change fate around him to put things in motion for his own favour, in direct competition with the other Holistics that go with the flow of the universe.
In the first season he out runs Bart. He then survives the Bikers, which Bart assumes will kill him. He eventually even wiggles his way into Bart's affections and manages to get her under his thumb - effectively hacking her Holistic Purpose and making her doubt herself (which in the end saves Suzie Boreton from death). He tricks Hugo into giving up his title. He even tricks Wilson into accepting the massacre at Blackwing as a positive, rather than a negative.
Alpha is, of course, the First. It is also part of the phrase "The Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end". Ken is the first "last" Project, he is the beginning of the end - literally as Alpha is put at the end of the Salmon of Doubt cover - this is doubly ominous if you consider Ken is a Holistic Hacker that is bending the rules of fate to his command through manipulation (that always works). Perhaps Ken is the break in the world that Wakti references, a Holistic that doesn't have to follow fate - that would surely unmake everything.
Spectulation about Suzie Boreton, which is a reach, but fun to consider options for:
Suzie Boreton is related to the Banshee Project somehow. Based on the singular Insignia that featues both blue and red, Project Banshee is featured somewhere in season 1, but is fully revealed in season 2.
Suzie appears in the end of season 1 as a preview for season 2. She screams, much like the namesake of the Project. This is the only time we see her.
Also, Suzie does have an innate power that is proven to be inhuman, or at least not usual - it is tied to death, and spoken vocally. Not long after she gets the wand and book, she stops needing anything but her voice and the wand. As the season progresses, her voice distorts and she is considerably louder, screaming frequently.
I don't have that one down, sorry to end on a mildly milque toast note.
Things to consider:
Project Molloch appears on the Salmon of Doubt cover considerably late, second only to Vesta for last place (aside from Project Alpha). If the cover is in chronological order this doesn't make sense. Unless Molloch's position was moved when he was misplaced. Or the other Projects were caught with an extremely small amount of time between being secured. The latter makes more sense, as Blackwing quickly proved to be an unpopular, functionally fruitless waste of money - made clear by a an official visit in The Salmon of Doubt where Dirk fails to impress. If Molloch was really one of the first brought in whe Blackwing was still in it's predecessor stage we have from 1967 until 1988 completely unaccounted for. If Dirk was 10 in 2000, that means he was born two years after Blackwing opened properly. If he was taken in at 5 or 6, that would time appropriately but still would not account why Molloch appears so late in the Salmon of Doubt cover.
Interesting things:
Molloch is a demon that requires child sacrifice, Francis sacrifices himself for Wendimoor.
In the Salmon of Doubt Princess Kimberly is shown to be able to move to a fantasy dream world much like Wendimoor called Aramoor. She is very much in line with Suzie Boreton, a selfish and unhappy child that uses a wand that looks very similar to Suzie's.
The Mona Wilder commercial in the first season lays out the second season nearly word for word, and also makes mention of Seven Flowers:
Here Comes Kissy Girl - Foretelling Suzie Boreton being an ass kisser What is a dream - Pretty much the plot I got rabies - Francis froths at the mouth when he has an attack
She also says "One day you wake up and your parents hate you and your brother's gay" - Farson, likely. And "What if you wake up in someone else's dream" - obvious.
Seven Flowers might be a group of mysterious reality benders:
She throws seven flowers in the air, diamonds spill out - the incident that moved all of Priest's files to be classified was called the Diamond Incident, which resulted in the decapitation of a child.
Vogel wears seven flowers in his hair in Wendimoor. He is also put in the center of Molloch's symbol made of barbed wire, following Todd finally manifesting his power.
If you made it through all of that, thank you. I'm more than open for discussion or critique.
submitted by splitcrowsoup to DirkGently [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 18:44 petrifiedcheese My mom uses my mental health as a threat

I'm not exactly sure if this story belongs on this subreddit, so if it doesn't feel free to take it down. If it does, prepare yourselves. Also, sorry if I go on about irrelevant stuff. Heres a little bit of context before telling this story. I'm a 15 year old lesbian, female of course, and shit hit the fan with my parents, mainly my mom, since I hit age 10.
So I was a kid raised on Christianity, although it was nothing close to the Christianity I think of today. l was just taught hatred through the form of "religion." For example, I always though all women must depend on a man, and all LGBT people were going to hell, simply because I was told so. Theres much more I believed, but I won't get into it. When I got old enough to form my own opinions, that's when things went south.
So as I said, about age 10 stuff went wrong. We had this cheesy middle school valentines dance, and kids were busy inviting who they thought was cute to go with them. I hadn't invited anyone since I just didn't think any guys were cute. So at the dance I was with a close friend group, and there was this girl I was really close to, we'll call her Abby. A slow dance song came on after a bit. Like the cheesy little kids we were, everyone took their dates to the floor. I was going to sit down, but Abby pulled me to the side and asked if I wanted to dance..as a couple. I was a little shocked, since I was taught stuff like this was "bad," but something in me also just made me excited. So I said yes, and we danced. We actually had a blast, dancing and joking around with each other.
After the whole dance was over Abby asked if we could date (ah yes, puppy love). I said yes, and we were girlfriends. It was at that point I realized I liked girls. So of course I was excited to tell my mom I finally got my first date, but when I got in the car and explained everything, she looked like she was going to have a heart attack. When I got home, I got at least a 3 hour lecture on why god hates gays. She also threw in herself that, if I was truly gay, she hated me and she would disown me. At the end of the night I was in tears, but was also done with believing in this god who hated me.
About two years later, around the age of 12-13, I had started self harming as a coping mechanism. My thighs would be almost always covered with cuts, and I had even contemplated suicide a few times. When my mom found out all of this, it really took a turn for the worse. Instead of trying to help me, my mom instead told me I was an idiot, attention whore, r*tard, dumbass. Really, every name in the book. She forced me to tell her why I was doing this and after a few hours of her asking, I told her its because I knew she wouldn't love me the same since I liked girls. She just laughed in my face and called me a stupid f*ggot. Weeks later, she found one of my old suicide notes and the whole scenario played over. She ended up telling my family about my issues when I begged her not to.
Present day, I'm a quiet kid who just tries to avoid my family. I have an awful relationship with my family from fighting. My mom checks me at random for cuts, making me strip down in the bathroom while she awkwardly examines. If we fight, she always uses my old suicide notes as a threat, saying she'll send me out of here if I give her trouble. I truly have no idea if I'm mentally ok anymore, since I haven't had any professional help or someone to talk to. I don't plan on keeping my family in my life, especially if this keeps going.
submitted by petrifiedcheese to entitledparents [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 23:22 Amarantramentum The Queen, the Pearl, Khaenri'ah, and the Abyss

(Aka I attempt to write a post about how Khaenri'ah and the Abyss are separate, and discover the truth is much more complicated).
This theory goes over the relationship between Lumine, Khaenri'ah, and the Abyss. A TL;DR can be found at the end of the post.
Word count: 3928 words (aka buckle in, you're in for a ride :^)

Khaenri'ah

The cataclysm
>Khaenri'ah is likely the country which was destroyed 500 years ago.
However, 500 years ago, the collapse of an ancient civilization turned the universe upside down...
>This is corroborated by sources such as:
Approximately one hundred years ago, the land was in chaos... The Liontooth Knight was without a suitable heir... Durin, the corrupted dragon of immeasurable power, began attacking Mondstadt.
>Notably, this source is not recent:
A collection of Mondstadt ballads, recorded, compiled, and arranged by scholars centuries ago.
>The Liontooth Knight was without an heir because Arundolyn, returning from fighting the monsters in Khaenri'ah, never fought agains.
After Rostam met his fate, Arundolyn never displayed his strength again. For no longer was it a source of glory to challenge ferocious monster
>Further information about this can be found in Defender's Will, Brave Heart, and the Favonious weapons.
>Breeze Amidst the Forest details the day Khaenri'ah fell:
"An atrous sun befell its kingdom and a luminous pearl lost its glow." "Niveous silk grew dim and wheaten gold burned brilliantly no more." So begins another tale that occurred in the lost Khaenri'ah Kingdom. The Blacksun Dynasty had fallen, and disaster spread across the land.
And:
Approximately one hundred years ago, the land was in chaos. Darkness spread, contaminating everything it touched. Barbarians and foul creatures roamed the lands, forcing people to dwell within the city walls.
>We can conclude there was a solar eclipse during the cataclysm. However, in the We Will be Reunited video, we see Lumine running past a blood moon (I'll explain why I believe she's in Khaenri'ah later). Blood moons occur during a total lunar eclipse.
The moon(s)
>Assuming these happened on the same day (since a lunar eclipse can only occur on the full moon, this likely contributed to the "darkness" described above), this is impossible with just one moon, as solar eclipses occur when the moon comes between the sun and the earth, and lunar eclipses when the earth's shadow perfectly covers the full moon - i.e., the moon would have to be on either side of the planet on the same day.
>Therefore, unless Teyvat experiences one day long months, there must be at least two moons.
Long ago, three bright moons once hung high the night sky. These three moons were sisters, their years numbering more than that of the Geo Archon and their year of birth dating before the very bedrock upon which Liyue Harbor now rests.
>What of the third moon? It seems to have been Khaenri'ah's source of light.
In the distant past, the Night Mother ruled over the faraway Land of Night. Here, no light touched the earth, nor did a single tree grow, and there was no life here but the horrendous denizens of the dark...
The Moonlight Forest was the only place free from the rule of the Night Mother. Only there could the people bask in the bright moonlight and enjoy the grace it brought to the living...
Perhaps the constant lack of sunlight and the nourishment of the moonlight was the reason for their beauty, giving them an appearance different from the abhorrent creatures lurking at the edge of the forest...
>Even if the rest of Teyvat did not experience an eclipsed moon, the same logic would apply - it is not possible for Khaenri'ah to experience a solar eclipse but not Teyvat without three moons.
>For constant moonlight, Khaenri'ah must have had a geosynchronous/geostationary moon. The reason for the lack of sunlight in the "Land of Night" is uncertain.
>This therefore explains why the cataclysm is attributed to the solar eclipse in sources, but we see an eclipsed moon instead.
>The situation described in Moonlit Bamboo Forest is unlikely to be what happpened during the cataclysm:
They navigated the heavens above in their silver carriage, alternating with one another thrice a month. If the reign was not promptly passed from one sister to the next, a terrible disaster would occur that very day.
>If the moons always changed every 10 days (per the cn version of the book), then Khaenri'ah is less likely to have enjoyed permanent moonlight to protect it from the "land of night". If there was no moon on the night, then we would not see the blood moon in the video. Therefore this part seems to be fabricated based on the fact Teyvat used to have three moons.
>Additionally, the moons changing every 10 days implies they were perfectly synchronised/possibly orbiting in perfect thirds. This would make the solalunar eclipses impossible, as one moon would have to appear on either side of the planet.
>It is unclear where the two missing moons are now, but one may be within the spiral abyss.
>We do not know what the "lie" in the Pale Princess is, which could possibly change the theory above.
Khaenri'ah's location, past, and language
>Khaenri'ah appears to be connected to the Abyss in intimate ways, including possibly being located in it.
Deep in the abyss, where celestial bodies cast no light...
He ventured into the fallen ancient kingdom, and died in battle in the monsters' lair.
>This echoes the story in the Pale Princess, with the moonlight differentiating between Khaenri'ah and the Abyss.
>However, in the We Will Meet Again video, Lumine is shown being above ground (/apparently on Teyvat) witnessing Khaenri'ah's fall - potentially signalling the lie within Pale Princess?
>Khaenri'ah appears to have been a prosperous kingdom, and potentially very powerful (we do not know the pearl's purpose, only that it is important to our demigod mc):
"Niveous silk grew dim and wheaten gold burned brilliantly no more."
>It has previously been mentioned that Khaenri'ah appears to in Arabic.
>Doing my own research on this theory, I came up with the meaning: betrayal + wind/victory/power.
>(Granted, I'm doing this research through the power of google translate and/or en google, so please feel free to correct me).
Kaeya and Dainsleif
>Kaeya also appears to be based off an Arabic name, meaning stability - potentially a reference to how he is Khaenri'ah's "last hope".
>(There is also the potential Kaeya in Hindu, but that doesn't offer any meaning to this theory ;9).
>Given that Khaenri'ah and Kaeya's names appear to be in Arabic, this could possibly point towards him being important to Khaenri'ah (and possibly royalty), given his "excellent blood" (which is explicitly "excellent bloodline" in cn) - esp. considering how Dainsleif's name and title comes from Norse mythology.
>His "excellent blood" could of course be what is preventing him from becoming a "shadowy monster", but given the below, I lean towards royalty more:
>Peacock feathers symbolised royalty in ancient Islam.
The main early cultural associations of the eggs and feathers were with death/resurrection and kingship respectively, a symbolism that was passed on into early Christian and Muslim usage.
>Kaeya's constellation, Pavo Ocellus, translates to peacock's eye, likely a reference to their feathers.
>Mona's reading for Kaeya is also interesting:
Kaeya Alberich? He's a Pavo Ocellus. Destined for greatness and grandeur... and to hide ugly realities behind a layer of charm and elegance. He believes he has made a clean break with his past, but one day fate will catch up with him. When it does, he will have a major decision to make.
>While the rest makes sense (the ugly realities part likely referring to Khaenri'ah's curse, discussed below), the fact he is "destined for greatness and grandeur" is of particular note. We have seen Kaeya at work before - and it is difficult to see how he might attain grandeur by shadily letting other people do the work and only showing up when necessary (to investigate the fact the Abyss Mages were involved, for example). This therefore is more likely to suggest something that forces him into the spotlight - like being royalty, for example.
>Alberich is additionally a Germanic name meaning "king of elves".
>Dainsleif is a name from Norse mythology, although his character appears to be based off Dain (Dain was a dwarf, whilst Dainsleif was a sword).
>Dain's title is likely to be a reference to the four harts which eat amongst Yggdrasill (the world tree)'s branches.
>Kaeya wears an eyepatch, whilst Dainsleif wears a half mask. This is possibly a reference to Odin, who accepted divine knowledge by sacrificing his eye. Yet Dainsleif, who is aware of the truth behind the curse, may symbolically reject this knowlege (and the gods).
>Kaeya's relative deference to the gods may be seen in his cape, which is in the shape of the pillar decoration in Celestia.
>As noted in the Pale Princess:
Everyone in the Kingdom of the Moonlight Forest was born with fair skin, light-colored hair, and bright blue eyes.
>Dainsleif fits this description, but Kaeya does not - perhaps the difference is relevant per above?
The sin and the curse
>In most sources, the "sin" is attributed to Gold and is suggested to be righteous:
"The alchemist known as Gold was corrupted by his own greed and ambition, and created an army of shadowy monsters with his uncanny powers."
And
"A great sinner created endless monsters with alien, dark blood flowing through their veins. They rampaged across the land, destroying all in their paths. Their lives were mutations, caused by powers beyond this world."
>Even Kaeya believes this tale:
Khaenri'ah, huh? You sure know a lot! The legacy of Khaenri'ah is long gone, the sinners are all that's left, and they're not worth mentioning.
>However, the Bloodstained Knight discovered that Khaenri'ah's curse was an injustice, leading him to pledge allegiance to the Abyss.
At the bottom of the world, he learned the origin of the monsters that destroyed the ancient kingdom. "The ancient kingdom was wrongfully cursed," "Turning its inhabitants into monsters." "The code of chivalry tolerates not such injustice." "If Abyss be thy name, I pledge to you my loyalty."
>It therefore apppears that Gold might have done something to anger the gods, leading them to curse Khaenri'ah, but whatever he did was innocent enough to be considered unjust by the knight who considered justice above all.
>It also appears that what happened to Khaenri'ah may have been part of a cycle:
The future must atone for bygone mistakes, as the bond familiar falters and breaks— of the same blood, elders and the youth... Such is the cycle of the world, in truth.
>This prophecy seems to suggest that there is a cycle to life on Teyvat - humanity makes a mistake, for which the people are punished, leading to the later generations to suffer and curse those who came before.
>Gold's sin was perhaps to question the gods. This is illustrated by the descriptions on the circlets dropped by the elemental bosses (an explanation why I believe the priests where Khaenri'ahn rather than the Abyss mages later):
But what of the time after, a hundred, a thousand years from now? Would they have famine where they had plenty, poverty where once were riches? Would their altars and palaces become one with the soil, with only that silver-white tree for company?
The heavenly envoys, who ever spoke what they knew, were silent. So to understand this doom,
The chief priest, head crowned with white branches, would delve into the deep places of the world...
>(A similar story features on all the circlets).
>It also appears that the curse is still affecting Khaenri'ah's population, as Dainsleif's right arm appears to be potentially of a "shadowy monster".
>Kaeya and Dainsleif are notable for their star-shaped pupils. The star symbol appears to be related to magic (e.g., it is present on Dvalin and Mona), perhaps suggesting that Khaenri'ah was powerful due to its magic.
>Their pupil shape is however different to that of the Unknown Goddess', whose pupils are much rounder.

The Queen and the pearl

>We know the pearl was likely significant for Khaenri'ah (or at least sigificant enough to be well known):
"An eclipsed sun befell its [Khaenri'ah's] kingdom and a luminous pearl lost its glow."
>This pearl features in the Gnostic Chorus video, where it is called the "Genesis Pearl".
>The Gnostic Chorus appears to follow the plot of the Hymn of the Pearl, which talks about how Jesus' younger twin, Thomas, is sent to retrieve a pearl from Egypt.
"If thou goest down into Egypt,and bringest the one pearl,
which is in the midst of the seaaround the loud-breathing serpent,
>This parallels the mc twins as Lumine is the younger twin (she refers to Aether as her older brother in the Japanese version of the opening), who according to the Chorus video is originally sent to retrieve the pearl from the "Kingdom of Darkness".
>The Genshin equivalent of the serpent (which is also seen in the Chrous video) is likely Durin.
The black serpentine dragon Durin that attacked Mondstadt was such a mutation.
>The pearl was likely corrupted by Durin, as the snake's venom is what blackens the pearl in Gnostic Chorus. This is likely similar to the way Dvalin was corrupted by Durin's blood.
>The Chorus describes how Lumine was "decieved", forgetting her past and believing she was the "Queen of Darkness". This again, mirrors the Hymn of the Pearl, but with one important different: Thomas was affected by the Egyptians' oppression.
and because of the burden of their oppressions I lay in a deep sleep.
>The idea that what happened to Khaenri'ah was an injustice is not exclusive to Lumine, and is echoed by the Bloodstained Knight, who was trained by Rostram and whose goal was justice.
"The ancient kingdom was wrongfully cursed," "Turning its inhabitants into monsters."
>It is unlikely that the twins hail from Celestia, despite the implication due to them being from a "kingdom among the heavens". This is based off the fact they are shown falling onto Teyvat and the fact they step onto Celestia when they want to leave to another world (as well as their general inability to function in Teyvat, being called/considered an outlander, etc...).

The Abyss

>The Abyss appears to be contained within another realm.
"And so, the black-stained knight persisted on his path, pursuing monsters in the name of justice, Until he came upon an ancient, ruined realm, where he discovered the ultimate injustice..."
>This realm is so dark that the Bloodstained Knight required his timepiece to keep time:
Deep in the abyss, where celestial bodies cast no light, the Bloodstained Knight kept this timepiece, though time had lost all meaning.
>This is contrasted by Childe's story, where he appears to be aware of the time in the Abyss. However, given that he was in there for far longer than the Knight, his sleep cycle (etc.) may have been enough to keep the time for him.
In those three months, the swordswoman taught Tartaglia how to pass through the Abyss unhindered, and more importantly, nurtured the ability to stir up endless havoc from within Ajax's trouble-mongering nature.
No one knew what happened within that darkness during those three months, nor would Ajax ever speak of this to anyone. When his worried mother and sisters finally found him in that forest, only 3 days had passed in this world.
>The Abyss also appears to be associated with the underground:
He ventured into the fallen ancient kingdom, and died in battle in the monsters' lair. At the bottom of the world, he learned the origin of the monsters that destroyed the ancient kingdom.
And
Pursued by bears and wolf packs, he lost his footing and fell into a bottomless crack in the earth's surface. There, he witnessed the endless possibilities of another ancient world.
>The Abyss appears to be where Yggdrasill is located:
And into the deep places he went, seeking the hidden wisdom of the silver tree in the ancient capitol...
>And from the dead ley line leaves:
A twig from deep within the earth.
>However, I do not believe that the Abyss Mages are Khaenri'ahn. The reason for this is based off the lore in the elemental circlets:
To this question the envoys gave no answer. So, the people chose from among them a chief priest, And adorning his head with a crown of white branches, they sent him out into the deep places of the world, To antediluvian ruins and long-buried altars of sacrifice, to seek answers and enlightenment...
>Therefore, there were ruins in the Abyss from a civilisation before the chiefs' civilisation.
>The wording antediluvian is especially relevant, meaning (roughly) "the time before genesis".
Then, the envoys of the gods would walk among benighted humanity, and the ancient flames were extinguished amidst the first falling rains.
And
The eternal ice had just begun to thaw, and the first fires were still new.
>This suggests that although the chiefs seem to be the first people upon the earth, they were not - which links to the cycle they began to question:
It was a prosperous time, a period of bountiful harvest. Then the earth was blessed and ruled by heaven, and the elemental flows were smooth and well-ordered. A hundred years of bounty were written in the stars, and none could change this divine law.
But what of the time after, a hundred, a thousand years from now? Would they have famine where they had plenty, poverty where once were riches? Would their altars and palaces become one with the soil, with only that silver-white tree for company?
>The chief sent to the Abyss - whom I theorise is Gold - was likely seeking an answer to why Khaenri'ah could only prosper for 100 years, perhaps from those who had experienced the gods' cycle before: the Abyss Mages. But to ask this angered the gods, triggering the cataclysm which destroyed Khaenri'ah.
But would a day come when such wonderful times might come to an end?
To this question the envoys gave no answer.
And
So they questioned the heavens' authority, and schemed to enter the garden of gods. And though they had promised to the people divine love, prosperity and wisdom, the envoys of heaven were angry. For to question eternity was forbidden, For earth to challenge sky, inexpiable.
So the chief priest who wore the white-branched crown went forth to appease the divine envoys,
And into the deep places he went, seeking the hidden wisdom of the silver tree in the ancient capitol...
>This also suggests that the world tree is located in the remains of the first civilisation within the Abyss rather than in Khaenri'ah:
And into the deep places he went, seeking the hidden wisdom of the silver tree in the ancient capitol...
>This is not to suggest the Abyss and Khaenri'ah are not linked, particularly in our time. Abyss Mages appear to have an Eclipse symbol on their backs, perhaps as a reference to the Blacksun Dynasty.
From the We Will Meet Again video
>This may explain why there is a tribe of Hilichurls who are particularly interested in the occult worshipping the eclipse symbol. Perhaps seeing the Abyss Mages, the power they have, and the symbol on their backs, is what inspired them so.
The practices of the Eclipse tribe are the most occult of any in Mondstadt. They concern themselves neither with brains nor brawn, but with occult power. Distinct from the elemental powers worshipped by their peers, the object of their worship is a crude symbol that appears to represent an eclipsed sun. Their shamans are more powerful than those of the other tribes.
>The Abyss also appears to be working to right the injsutice that occurred in Khaenri'ah, by working with Lumine (e.g., the We Will Meet Again video).
"The ancient kingdom was wrongfully cursed," "Turning its inhabitants into monsters." "The code of chivalry tolerates not such injustice." "If Abyss be thy name, I pledge to you my loyalty."
>Skirk (Childe's mentor) is unlikely to be the Bloodstained Knight, as she is a woman, whilst the Knight was a man.
It's been years since I last saw my master. I should hope that next we meet, I'll at least be able to force her to use both hands to beat me...
And
At an end was the Bloodstained Knight's story, for he realized there was no place for him on this earth.
>In addition to being related to a place underground, the Abyss is also associated with dead people:
He ventured into the fallen ancient kingdom, and died in battle in the monsters' lair. At the bottom of the world, he learned the origin of the monsters that destroyed the ancient kingdom.
>This suggests that Childe may have died when he entered the Abyss - a potential reason for the lack of light in his eyes.
>Although the Abyss Mages and the ruin guards both obey Lumine, they appear to be from different civilisations:
Writing on a Ruin Guard, also We Will Meet Again
>Whilst the writing associated with Abyss Mages appears to be different.
>The Spiral Abyss appears to be related to the Abyss as we know it (e.g., the tree icon), yet is situated on what was once the highest peak in Mondstadt and possibly the world.
>It is an inverse tower - i.e., it goes down.
A grand corridor which leads to an unknown spiral constructed by a great empire that has long gone. What treasures await deep in the palace, and what monsters lurk in the shadow... Surrounded by mysteries, the inverse tower is now known as- the Spiral Abyss
>This suggests that the moon seen inside the tower may be the moon which illuminate/d Khaenri'ah.
>The domains are also likely to be connected to the world tree - being similar in appearance, and with writing in the same language as the Abyss Mages within them, although their purpose is uncertain.
>The Abyss Mages and Lumine are likely attempting to prevent Celestia from destroying the world again.
The original calamity had been overturned, yet the island in the sky set the earth to burn. Chalk pursues gold, in this time inopportune, the eclipse is swallowed by the crimson moon. The future must atone for bygone mistakes, as the bond familiar falters and breaks— of the same blood, elders and the youth... Such is the cycle of the world, in truth. Dain, what is that strand of blonde hair to you? Someone you must kill? Or the object of your penitence?
>The overturned calamity likely refers to the sin that Gold committed. Although this has been righted (by cursing Khaenri'ah), Celestia still plans on destroying Teyvat.
>Albedo (the Chalk Prince) seems to have noticed the cycle, but now is not the time to be angering the gods.
>The cycle is as I have discussed above, with later generations paying the price for previous generations' actions.
TL;DR: Lumine, Khaenri'ah, and the Abyss are inextricably linked, with implications and consequences for the entirety of Teyvat (/whatever the planet is called). Khaenri'ah, being situated near the Abyss, began to question the cycle the gods put to rule the world, leading the gods to curse them for their insolence. Yet this was injust, inspiring Lumine to join with the Abyss to stop the gods and prevent them from destroying the world.
And therein is another post where I reveal the culmulative madness of I-don't-remember-how-long. Please feel free to comment your critiques, suggestions, theories, etc. below, I'd love to see what others think!
submitted by Amarantramentum to Genshin_Impact [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 22:34 mtlblockboy My Testimony

tl;dr = prodigal son
To be clear:
This testimony is not about me, not for my own reputation or glory or my own notoriety. It is to hopefully turn some of you reading this towards salvation through Jesus Christ, our Lord and saviour, who came in the flesh as a human being 2000 years ago (approx.) and laid down his life as a propitiation for the sins of all mankind via Roman crucifixion. He rose again 3 days after his death, in so doing conquering death and Satan and permitting mankind to access salvation via belief in Him as God and His resurrection. He ascended to heaven where he is seated at the right hand of God and will return to earth in the future at an unknown date to judge mankind.
SECTION 1: BORN AND RAISED ––– 1995 - 2012
I came to know Jesus as a little boy. From the earliest time I can recall, back in preschool, Jesus was always a part of my life. I remember making a craft where we took a rock (representing Jesus) and wrote ‘the way, the truth, and the life’ on it (Jesus describes himself as this in a passage from the Gospels) and I still have it in my childhood bedroom). I loved Sunday School and I loved reading the Bible and bible stories as a little boy.
I vaguely recall the moment I ‘accepted Jesus into my heart’. I was in the backseat of the car and I asked my mom how to become a Christian (at about 4 to 5 years old) … and she explained to me I had to believe in Jesus and accept him into my heart. And I tried my hardest to do that! My mom later told me that she teared up at that moment because she could just tell that I genuinely had put my faith in Jesus at such a young age and had become a Christian at that moment.
I took my faith very seriously. I attended a small church where I was a member of the worship band. I was quite involved and listened attentively at every sermon. I like to believe for my age I had a pretty solid grasp of the theology being discussed. I was interested, I cared. Over the course of a year or two while I was about 13 to 14, I read the entire Bible cover to cover. All throughout growing up from what I can remember, I made sure to read at least one chapter of the Bible every night and I prayed morning and night.

So how the heck did I end up turning away from my faith?
Factor A: Fear of Not Being Cool
While I was on exchange in France in Grade 11, it really hurt me how the kids there made fun of me for being Christian. I remember one night, we were sitting at a bar having shooters and these kids I had just met were literally mocking me to my face for just believe in Jesus. I brushed it off at the time, but it really wounded me and made me not want to be Christian. Being a teenager, I just really wanted to fit in and be cool so I started to try to hide my faith as much as I could and keep it private, lest others find out and ridicule me.
I was not cool in high school. Heading off to [college], I saw it as a fresh start and was determined to make cool friends and be cool. Cool cool cool. How on earth was I going to be cool if people found out I was some weird Christian Jesus freak? So, I made the choice to just abandon Christianity altogether and pretend that I never was Christian (unfortunately, my plans failed anyways and even dropping Christianity could not make me cool – I remained a reject LOL)
Factor B: Seeds of Doubt
I remember when I was like 16… these doubts started to creep into my mind as if spoken into my head by someone –– previously my faith was very strong, but I started to hear questions in my head like: Is God reeeeaaaally real? Why does God allow bad things happen to good people? Why does God allow some people to be saved and others not? How could a loving God allow that to happen to his creation? Why would God create people just destroy them?
Satan himself putting those questions in my mind – he loves nothing more than ripping Christian kids away from their faith and dragging their souls down to hell
SECTION 2: WAYWARD – CHILD –– 2012 - 2020
When I graduated high school, I was happy. Had good relationships with family and friends I had. Was very successful academically. I was a happy kid.
Fast forward to 25 years old where my life has turned into a dark, decrepit, depressed charade
Ever since I made the worst decision of my life at 16 to leave the church and to leave Jesus, pretty soon I spiralled into depression in my first semester of university. It NEVER went away. I had moments of happiness, sure, but they were momentary. The sense of alienation and loneliness pervaded every aspect of my life. And the worst thing was the fatigue that came with it. I made the poor choice of beginning to take prescription stimulants (starting with methylphenidate and working my way up to amphetamines) to address my energy issues.
You know those gray days where everything just feels kind of bleh? That was what every day felt like to me. There was no joy in being with people, and EVERYTHING felt like a task, like a checkbox. Going through the motions. A performance. Like I said above, a charade. My medical school colleagues will be familiar with the SIGECAPS mnemonic for depression – I hit every one of those except suicidal ideation, thank the Lord.
Sin. It started with dipping my toes in its murky water. Then turned into full immersion into behaviours that would nearly destroy me. You name it, I did it. My medical school classmates will recall my issues with binge drinking. Partying. Tons of casual sex. All the ‘bad behaviours’.
But the two sins that dominated my life in recent years were:
  1. Drugs
Stimulants nearly ended my life. I pretended to be OK for years every day in medical school while battling abuse of prescription stimulants. I needed them just to get through the day. I would spend 95% of my day thinking about where I was going to get my next pill. You couldn’t see them but believe me I was in chains to this addiction. I am so grateful to God to be free from this and I am crying as I type this.
  1. Porn
Hardcore gay porn. Multiple times a day. Sometimes even for hours at a time. I couldn’t stop. Could not stop. Even for unreligious people the use would qualify as beyond problematic. It was destroying my mind. Rotting my brain. I shudder when I think of the untold weeks (if you add up the hours) I lost to this destructive habit that, too, had me in chains.
That’s the thing about sin. It…. controls you. You think you are in control but you’re not. Sin. Addiction. ‘A rose by any other name’…
But worse than these behavioural things, was the kind of person I turned into. My character, or lack thereof…
Dishonesty: I turned into a pathological liar, a fundamentally dishonest, deceptive person. I intentionally deceived people, sometimes even in academic settings.
Selfishness: All I thought about all day long was myself and my problems. I couldn’t pry my mind off of me me me me me me me me me.
I was just generally a bad person. I would volunteer pretending to care about stuff only doing it for the ulterior motive of medical school applications. I would pretend to care about causes I never thought about outside of observed settings for my own clout. Truly a pathological, sick, messed up kid. Basically, I turned into a charlatan masquerading as a good person when on the inside I was a rotting corpse, morally. I lied so much I deceived MYSELF into believing I was a good person. I mocked Christianity and ridiculed Christians, even mocking my own mother for her strong convictions.
And I had insight into how amoral I was! I was AWARE that I had something wrong with me and that I needed to fix myself. I tried doing behavioural therapy on myself, refusing to believe that the problem could be I stopped believing in God. Hint – it didn’t work. God was made up, obviously. How could a made-up figure possibly help me?
SECTION 3: “Have you guys seen ___’s Instagram story???” ¬¬–– FALL 2019
In fall 2019, I started taking an antidepressant (superimposed on chronic stimulant abuse). My mood quickly became elated. Too happy. Too good. Towards the 6-8 week mark of my antidepressant course I started to experience psychotic phenomena. I can go into all of the details later if you are interested, but it all culminated the week of October 16, 2019 (the date I was hospitalized).
I can’t exactly remember what symptoms came first, but I remember one night not being able to sleep and turning on the TV just before 3 AM. And there were music videos playing and to me, the singers weren’t looking into a camera they were looking through the screen into my eyes. Then at 3 AM exactly this scary music video came on and freaked me out. I interpreted this to be a call to some kind of religious mission. I had a meeting a student health professional who tried to direct me to the psychiatric emergency, but I am clever and even in my manic state I managed to talk my way out of it. Later that day, I went to a lecture, when the clock struck 3:00 PM exactly the entire room transfigured before my eyes. The lecturer turned into a dark satanic figure with pitch black eyes. His voice became unnaturally low and demonic. I was horrified. The lecture slides seemed to be altered and full of obvious mistakes and no one around me seemed to notice. I had no idea what was going on and I was amazed as all around me everyone was glued to their laptops and did not notice this Satanic figure in the room. I had to get out of the room, so I STORMED out of the room fearing for my life. Outside in the hospital always, the world had transfigured into this apocalyptic scene. Everyone’s face was dejected, and they seemed to be suffering. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. I, unfortunately, decided to visit a supervisor from work right at that moment where my lunacy was exposed. I later went home and misinterpreted a passage from the Bible to mean that [city] would be destroyed within a few hours and if I wanted to live… I had to get to [neighbouring hometown]! (completely insane)
I got in my car and sped to [hometown] at a demonic pace. At one point, a police officer turned on their lights behind me to pull me over – but I knew better, this was Satan disguised as a cop car! I would not be fooled –– so I floored it to 200 kph going down the highway to [hometown]. A few minutes later, the cop car disappeared in my rearview mirror. Did I hallucinate it? I have no idea. It is a ******miracle****** I did not kill anyone or myself that night. Going down [highway], I have lost all my memory of that portion of the drive. I don’t know what happened. I have fragmentary memories of a ripping down the shoulder of the road at like 130 kph and swerving at the last possible second to avoid crashing into 4 construction workers – I have this image emblazoned in my mind of these young guys bracing for impact knowing they were going to die and my car somehow swerving around them defying the laws of physics.
I showed up at my childhood home where my dad and brother were preparing to catch me and bring me to the hospital, appropriately. Unfortunately, in that state, I started hallucinating and saw their faces become red and demonic looking and realized this was not my dad and brother but were imposters that had taken over their bodies. So, I physically assaulted them, believing they were trying to murder me and I needed to fight for my life. I’ve never hit anyone in my life.
You don’t need all the details, but within a few hours I was in the psychiatric emerg. and the next day on the psych ward. My delusions were many and shifted quickly. I thought the psychiatric ward was heaven at one point. At several points I thought I was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. I can’t even remember them all. A few things I do remember were:
a. quickly meeting a man who said he had been waiting for my arrival, and who somehow knew that I had a 98% high school average and went to [my medical school] without me being able to discern how he would know that –– he claimed God revealed this information to him and that God had put him in the hospital in order for him to meet me. Over the course of the two weeks preceding my admission, the religious overtones led me back to faith in the existence of Christ but not Christianity per se. This man helped turn me back to the Bible and redirect my behaviours and attitudes to realign with Christian ones.
b. There was this elderly man who could barely speak English who I would play checkers with. One day, he passed me a sheet of paper he had been doing a drawing on and asked me to sign it. It was titled, “The End of the World”.
c. the end of my stay on the psych ward, it felt like I was being given a series of instructions to complete from a supernatural source. It culminated in one day, me sitting down to have a conversation with an elderly man on the ward. I know he wasn’t God, obviously, but the things he said to me in that moment seemed to be as if God were speaking to me. He said: “I knew you would figure it out eventually, [my name]” I shuddered with fear. I can’t remember everything he exactly said, but basically he confronted me about how dishonest I was as a person, and kindly explained to me that living a more honest life was not hard to do. I don’t care whether or not it was just a coincidence or not, as far as I was concerned, those words hit me as from a divine source.
And innumerable other weird occurences that seemed like some kind of message to me. All the messages to the effect of “change your life, young man” “turn away from sin” “repent” etc
(The doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia, if you’re wondering. I don’t have that, LOL)
I was ‘psychotic’ for a solid month after I was admitted to the hospital and they took me off stimulants which is how they diagnosed me with bipolar – as stimulant-induced psychosis should clear much earlier than that. I remember going to the movies with my dad and had this ominous premonition telling me no! don’t go see that movie! To the point where I almost asked dad to see a different movie ¬¬–– but recovering psych patient __[me]__ told himself, “don’t be insane, it’s just a movie, it can’t hurt you” – so I went. The movie was Parasite. From the very first word in the movie, I was convinced that every single word of the script on the screen was a message directed to me. It seemed to be saying to me in code words that I had been chosen to go on some mission to spread the gospel to a lot of people. I was paralyzed with fear by how real it seemed that God was speaking to me through the screen. When I went home, my bed was made perfectly, and it had been messier earlier that day. I immediately thought it could be supernatural, but my dad is a hard-boiled atheist and laughed it off, but he could never explain why it was made either.
SECTION 4: WAFFLING
Basically, since that hospitalization, I waffled back and forth between wanting to be Christian and turning away from it back to my old habits of drugs, porn, dishonesty, etc. This past fall, the alternation got faster and faster back and forth, and I started to feel this sense of disorganization and confusion. Like I couldn’t control my thoughts. This sense of internal chaos. I felt like I was losing control of myself. Like I couldn’t predict my own behaviour. I grew anxious over how quickly I would change my modus operandi and struggled with not being able to control my future decisions.
The sins intensified as a ‘coping mechanism’. The porn thing got super intense and messed up until a few weeks ago. One day, I came across this picture of myself as a little boy and I started bawling, imagining if that little boy could see his future self now… and the pathetic piece of s**t he had turned into. This bright-eyed, happy little boy had turned into a sick loser.
I started crying and could feel Jesus calling. God had more in store for that bright-eyed little boy than what I had allowed my life to become.
I knew I had two choices: continue to devolve into degeneracy and lead a meaningless life serving Satan or turn back to Christ and save myself from the bottomless pit of despair I was digging myself into. In spurts of Holy Spirit-inspired action, I made the necessary changes in my life. I threw out all my sex paraphernalia. Just threw it out. Done with it. Took my last Adderall last Friday –– for my whole life, so help me God. Then I pushed through a major barrier in my new-found faith –– fear of evaluation of others. Last Thursday, I witnessed about my faith to the physicians with addictions group I have to phone into every month. The testimony poured out of me emotionally as if I didn’t even have to think of the words, as if they were being said for me. I could tell that the Holy Spirit was acting in me to spread the good news and I felt this transcendent sense of joy that I’ve never felt in my life. That I’d never known from anything before. This sense of accomplishment and having done something for God’s kingdom. An elation I’d never knew was possible.
SECTION 5: FREE
I knew that in that moment I had finally attained salvation. No more waffling back and forth between sort of Christian and sort of not. Committing to Christ. Not going back across the dotted line this time, ever again. Now, I am sure that I am ‘saved’, as they say, for once and for all.
That night, I couldn’t sleep. And NOT because I was on drugs. And I NEVER have trouble sleeping. Temptations came to sin once again after I had just made such a substantial step in my faith –– I phoned my mom and we prayed against demons and Satan and immediately a peace came to me. And the most amazing thing happened. I saw angels flying around me in my bedroom glittering in gold with wings and tiny halos.
After this transformative experience, through reading scripture and what psychiatrists would call delusions of reference –– it became apparent to me that I needed to face my fears of rejection and ridicule by peers and share my faith with everyone I knew. Basically, I was convinced God was instructing me to share my faith.
And every time I have shared my faith this past week the joy within me has grown and my sense of confidence has grown in parallel. Not a confidence so much in my own worth but in the fact that I am doing something useful for God’s kingdom.
I believe I am free from sin. Temptation has only come to me once since I found true salvation. It is no longer a daily battle where every day it’s 50/50 whether I cave to sin or not. The compulsion is no longer there. I’m not attached to sin anymore. Literally.
Satan fought hard for my soul but in the end Christ won. Christ always wins. If I can be saved (I intentionally omitted some of the details of the bad things I’ve done over the years to protect my career), you definitely can as well! 99% of you reading this will think I’m crazy but I am hoping even just 1% of you reading this will consider whether there is something more to life than what we see every day, and that maybe there is something that comes after we die.
Matthew 16:24-26 –– “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains” the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?”
I will leave you with my favorite Mariah lyrics that build me up whenever other people break me down:
________________________________
They can say,
Anything they want to say
Try to bring me down, but I will not
Allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me,
And they can try
Hard to make me feel that I
Don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter in what I believe or lose faith in my dreams
'Cause there's
There's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
They can do
Anything they want to you
If you let them in
But they won't ever win
If you cling to you pride, and just push them aside,
See I,
I have learned
There's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul that they cannot possess
Oh I won't be afraid and the darkness will fade
'Cause there's
There's light in me me
That shines brightly, yes
They can try
But they can't take that away from me
No, oh
They can't take this
Precious love I'll always have inside me,
Certainly the Lord will guide me where I need to go
They can say
Anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I won't face the ground
I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach
Although they do try
Hard to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all,
But I refuse to fall,
Tell me what I believe or lose faith in my dreams
'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly yes
Can’t Take That Away (Mariah’s Theme)
Mariah Carey
submitted by mtlblockboy to TrueChristian [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 21:58 NotMarilee RT Rundown November 21, 2020 - November 27, 2020

Last Week
This post lists everything Rooster Teeth has released from November 21, 2020 to November 27, 2020. The organization of this post follows the order of the links on the sidebar on the website. FIRST exclusive content is surrounded in asterisks ( *EXAMPLE*) while content that is currently exclusive but will be available publicly later is followed by an asterisks and the date in which it will be free (EXAMPLE*Free December 5th.) This does not include content that will lose exclusivity on the day this post is made (November 28th.)
ROOSTER TEETH:
RT PODCAST #624 - Hot Thanksgiving
*RT PODCAST POST SHOW #624 - Drag and Drop OBS fun*
GOOD MORNING FROM HELL - The Presidents of Turkeys
BLACK BOX DOWN - Children Cause Crash
DIE IS CAST - An Imposter Amidst the U.S.S Cheesemaster - Extra Life 2020 Special Part 2
RT SHORTS - Gus’ Annual Holiday Soirée
HARD MODE - Phasmophobia in Real Life
RT LIFE - Our Office, Frozen in Time
RT EXTRAS - The Bit that Won’t Die - Fall Guys Turned On
RTTV SPECIALS - Nature Calls - Community & Coffee
RT STREAMS - The Most: Quicksand 9/11
RT STREAMS - CoD: Warzone with PartyPetah
RT STREAMS - Jackbox 7: Champ’s Up
ACHIEVEMENT HUNTER:
OFF TOPIC #258 - Theater Kids, Rise Up!
*LAST CALL #258 - Taking Kids Down a Notch*
FACE JAM - Golden Chick Cholula Chicken Sandwich & Tenders
FACE JAM - Snack Friday
RED WEB - Lindbergh Kidnapping (Part Two)
F**KFACE - Twice Cooked Floor Dogs // Unverified Wipes
F-ING AROUND WITH IFY AND FIONA - Living That Code Red Life
ROLE INITIATIVE - Rough Landing - Line in the Sand
AH ANIMATED - Taking the Piss
THIS JUST INTERNET - We Party With Pitbull and Clap For The Nuts
AHWU #552 - The Return of Phillip W. Pickles
BETWEEN THE GAMES - Old Men Holiday Redemption
LET’S WATCH - Teardown - What CAN’T We Wreck?!* Free November 29th
ROULETSPLAY - It’s Not Fair Playing Alfredo - Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
LET’S PLAY - Pokemon Stadium With Random Pokemon - Matt and Jeremy Do Something* Free December 1st
LET’S PLAY - We Break Hearts and Trust w/ ImMadness, Echochlo, and Christian - Among Us
LET’S PLAY GTA V - Cop Car Collection* Free November 30th
LET’S PLAY GMOD - One Golden Deagle to Rule Them All* Free December 2nd
LET’S PLAY MINECRAFT - We Accidentally Made a Death Laser - Stoneblock (Part 7)* Free December 4th
AH STREAM - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Randomizer Part 6
AH STREAM - Ghost Town Survival The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope
AH STREAM - Post Team Kills K-Pop - Post Team Plays Raft
AH STREAM - We Enter Snaxburg Bugsnax
AH STREAM - We’re Just Poppin’ Heads Call of Duty: Cold War - Zombies
AH STREAM - I Like the Sneak Assassin’s Creed Valhalla
AH STREAM - Presents for All Gmod TTT
FUNHAUS:
DUDE SOUP - Bye Loading Screens! Yakuza, Demon’s Souls, Morbius & More w/ What’s Good Games
FILMHAUS - Movies We’re Thankful For
YOUR COMMENTS - The Mystery of Jon’s Bottoms - Watch Us Watch You
FH SHORTS - Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2020! - Funhaus BTS
GAMEPLAY - That’s Not Hot: Lost Games of 2004 - Abandonware
GAMEPLAY - Peanut Butter Robot
GAMEPLAY - Adult Minecraft - 7 Day to Die
FH PLAYS GTA V - Ryan’s First Time - GTA 5 Funny Moments
ANIMATION:
RED VS BLUE: ZERO Episode 3 - DUO* Free November 30th
RWBY Volume 8, Episode 3 - Strings
RTAA - People Like Shirts
RECREYO - Can They Survive Re:ZERO?
CYPHERDEN’S ADVENTURES - I RECORDED MY DREAMS FOR 30 DAYS
I HAVE NOTES - Safegiving
SELECT ALL - Thanksgiving Food - Top Tier
*BACKWARDZ COMPATIBLE - In Silence*
*BACKWARDZ COMPATIBLE - Civilization 5*
INSIDE GAMING:
IG PODCAST - Super Smash Bros. Melee will never die
IG ROUNDUP - Blizzard had a really bad week
STAY ZEN - Designing a good time with Josie Young
IG FEATURES - Inside Gaming tries to get a Next-Gen Console
IG DAILY - Cyberpunk 2077 has leaked
IG DAILY - The Smash Bros. Community is done with Nintendo
IG DAILY - The PS5 and Series X are still busted
IG DAILY - How COVID affected the Games Industry
IG DAILY - A look back at the Xbox One & PS4
IG LIVE - How to play Games for Babies 2
DEATH BATTLE:
DB FIGHT PREVIEWS - Batgirl Ora-cleans Up Crime in DEATH BATTLE!
DB FIGHT PREVIEWS - Spider-Gwen Swings into DEATH BATTLE!
DB CAST #206 - Batgirl vs Spider-Gwen Sneak Peek!
THE YOGSCAST:
TTT - Recreating Duck Hunt with Tiny Doncon in Gmod
TTT - Teaching Gmod TTT to a Total Newbie!
GMOD SANDBOX - What Did You Want To Be When You Grew Up?
TRIFORCE #153 - Snooper Elite
SIMON’S PECULIAR PORTIONS - Lewis and SImon Talk About Crabs For 19 Minutes
FRIENDS OF RT:
WHAT’S GOOD GAMES #208 - Cyberpunk 2077 Copies Leaked
WHAT’S GOOD GAMES #209 - Xbox Coming to Smart TVs Within a Year?
EASY ALLIES PODCAST #241 - November 20, 2020
BEYOND THE TRAILER - Pixar’s Soul Review
CULT PODCAST #163 - Donald Trump Pt.3: Don King with Worse Hair
CASTLE SUPER BEAST - The Absolute State Of XIII
FRAME TRAP #120 - “Umbasa”
US STORE:
Red Web Logo T-Shirt
Red Web Logo Mug
ACHIEVE You Can Do Better Keychain
ACHIEVE You Can Do Better Crew Socks
ACHIEVE You Can Do Better Color Block Anorak Jacket
ACHIEVE You Can Do Better Lounge Shorts
ACHIEVE You Can Do Better Color Block Pullover Hoodie
ACHIEVE You Can Do Better T-Shirt - Aqua
ACHIEVE You Can Do Better T-Shirt - Poppy
ACHIEVE You Can Do Better T-Shirt - Yellow
Funhaus FUNfest Tie Dye T-Shirt
Funhaus FUNfest T-Shirt
Funhaus FUNfest Desert T-Shirt
Funhaus FUNfest Fountain Long Sleeve T-Shirt
Funhaus FUNfest Stripes Long Sleeve T-Shirt
Funhaus FUNfest Mountain Zip-Up Hoodie
Funhaus FUNfest Makin’ Waves Pullover Hoodie
Funhaus FUNfest Coaches Jacket
Funhaus FUNfest Trucker Hat
RWBY Stickerbomb Emblem T-Shirt
RWBY Stickerbomb T-Shirt
RWBY Stickerbomb Hoodie
RWBY Stickerbomb Long Sleeve T-Shirt
RWBY Stickerbomb Camo Jacket
RWBY Stickerbomb Decal Pack
RWBY Stickerbomb Water Bottle
Geoff Ramsey PopSick Deep End Orange T-Shirt
Geoff Ramsey PopSick Deep End Blue T-Shirt
Geoff Ramsey PopSick Crossbones T-Shirt
Geoff Ramsey PopSick Beach Towel
Geoff Ramsey PopSick Reversible Bomber Jacket
Geoff Ramsey Strawberry PopSick Keychain
Geoff Ramsey Banana PopSick Keychain
Geoff Ramsey Vanilla PopSick Keychain
submitted by NotMarilee to roosterteeth [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 20:23 toftr FANTASY BASKETBALL

UPDATED
Possibly at a point for a third league
Hey y’all! With the season finally closing in, I figured I’d gauge interest in the sub playing fantasy basketball for 2020-21. We've done it the last two seasons, and it was pretty fun, even if we didn't get to finish last season. By the looks of it, I will be running at least two leagues this year. The veteran league already has 9 confirmed, and the newbie league from last year has 5-6 who want to do it again, but some of them might graduate to the big league. I'm not going to run anything larger than 14 because we had a rather large league the first year, and it got kinda ridiculous, but I'll try to accommodate everyone who wants to play.
If there’s enough interest, I’m considering running at least two, possibly even three leagues. The veteran league is a continuation of the original league where we have most of the spots spoken for, but there will at least be \some\ room. This league is mostly only for those who have played before. We are in the process of debating whether to make this a buy-in league, but that info will come out once a decision is made. The other league(s) would be more for people who want to try out fantasy basketball or for those who aren't necessarily as competitive when it comes to fantasy shooty-hoops. A bit more laid back. Ideally, the newbie league(s) would be an 8-12 team league.
Depending on interest, we’d ideally draft the weekend before the season starts, December 18-20, but I’ll be working to determine what draft date and time works best for all involved. Generally, we've just used Reddit chat the past few years.
I’ll probably post a thread at least one more time before the season too unless all potential leagues fill up quickly. Feel free to reply with your interest here or DM me. Spots will be first come-first serve. I'll only start the third league after the first two are full. For the third league, I’d be willing to run a league using Points scoring. I know some people last year asked about doing Points, so I could do one CAT one Points intro league.
So far for the vet league we have: u/37sms, u/miketango1010, u/Vapenayshion, u/JGrizz0011 u/Travenous9 (I think?), u/grsshppr (defending champion, technically), u/wrowsey1, u/CaesarSalad837, and myself. I'm still waiting to hear back from one person and two people have expressed interest in moving from the newbie league into this league, so this league only has 1-3 spots available. This is a CAT league.
Rookie - u/tideroll95, u/FormerEgoRuler, u/UKgrizzfan, u/rellaller, someone who texted me asking to play, u/BattleCougarGo, u/Cuttydafromdacut, u/Thunder-ten-tonckh, u/JimmyNeutron87, u/ReformedChristian, u/JudgeOfHonesty, u/dre_day901, me (commish); there will be at least 2, but more likely 5-8 spots available in this league. This was a CAT league last year, and will be 9CAT again this year
I'll start responding to people later tonight! Thanks for your interest!
—- EDIT: More interest will warrant a third league, and I’m happy to run another
submitted by toftr to memphisgrizzlies [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 19:40 dastoopid Despite childhood indoctrination, I’m going on my first ever date today. (atheist copypasta)

Hey there!
I just wanted to make a quick post noting some progress. When I started this alt account, I was a self hating gay man, who was confused about his sexuality, and guilty because Christianity told me to be.
I grew up in a fundamentalist cult. I went to a church that believed in tongues, faith healings, prophecy, all of it. My mother took me to church between 4 and 7 times a week during my adolescence. Everything revolves around God. I even went to a Baptist school where they expelled gay people.
Needless to say, being gay rocked my world. I hated myself for a long time. I had serious depression, and by the time I was starting to realize I was losing my faith, I attempted suicide but backed out at the last moment. I was not okay.
I have been exorcised for being gay, multiple times, anointing oil splashed on my as multiple pastors screamed at me so that demons would leave my body. Many people told me I would have to be celibate forever. I believed them. I am very romantically minded, and am a pretty sexual person, so the thought of never having a partner just destroyed me.
A year ago, I walked away from religion. I was still attending a Christian school. I was still forced to go to church many times a week and pretend I was Christian. I was now closeted in two ways, as an atheist and as a Christian.
However, I felt freer than ever. I could be myself, at least for myself, for the first time ever. I no longer felt guilt for who and what I am. It was a difficult year, having to deal with the ramifications of leaving religion, but I would do it a million times over to continue to experience the freedom I now experience.
Now, I’ve moved away from my mother and into my dad’s house for college. He’s accepting, and am atheist himself. I have slowly come out that I’m an atheist over time, and soon I will no longer hide my sexuality. My time in the closet it over. I’m free to be myself.
I found someone. He cute, nice, funny, and SUPER compatible with me. He’s the guy I’ve always daydreamed my head about dating, but I always thought would be impossible to find. We’ve talked for a while, and now we’re super infatuated with each other. Today is my first date with him. In fact, it’s my first date ever. I feel like I’ve finally made it. All that suffering for being gay, it made me stronger, and now I get to be with a man that I love.
I just wanna thank this community. I made so many rants in this subreddit, and I don’t know what I would have done without this outlet and without the advice I’ve been given. This place is so freeing, filled with so many open minded people. A lot of us share somewhat this experience of leaving something that hurt us. I just hope that all of us can recover. I never thought I would, but I am.
I still have a ways to go. I don’t know how my fundamentalist family will react. They’re still trying to re indoctrinate me into the religion. They’re still in disbelief that I even left. I have to deal with that, and it will be frustrating. I live in a place where gay men are harassed if they show any public affection. The harm religion did to me will scar, and there will be baggage. It will take time to heal.
But we will all heal from the scars this cursed religion has left us with.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to get ready for.
submitted by dastoopid to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 17:08 trickyman226 Despite childhood indoctrination, I’m going on my first ever date today.

Hey there!
I just wanted to make a quick post noting some progress. When I started this alt account, I was a self hating gay man, who was confused about his sexuality, and guilty because Christianity told me to be.
I grew up in a fundamentalist cult. I went to a church that believed in tongues, faith healings, prophecy, all of it. My mother took me to church between 4 and 7 times a week during my adolescence. Everything revolves around God. I even went to a Baptist school where they expelled gay people.
Needless to say, being gay rocked my world. I hated myself for a long time. I had serious depression, and by the time I was starting to realize I was losing my faith, I attempted suicide but backed out at the last moment. I was not okay.
I have been exorcised for being gay, multiple times, anointing oil splashed on my as multiple pastors screamed at me so that demons would leave my body. Many people told me I would have to be celibate forever. I believed them. I am very romantically minded, and am a pretty sexual person, so the thought of never having a partner just destroyed me.
A year ago, I walked away from religion. I was still attending a Christian school. I was still forced to go to church many times a week and pretend I was Christian. I was now closeted in two ways, as an atheist and as a Christian.
However, I felt freer than ever. I could be myself, at least for myself, for the first time ever. I no longer felt guilt for who and what I am. It was a difficult year, having to deal with the ramifications of leaving religion, but I would do it a million times over to continue to experience the freedom I now experience.
Now, I’ve moved away from my mother and into my dad’s house for college. He’s accepting, and am atheist himself. I have slowly come out that I’m an atheist over time, and soon I will no longer hide my sexuality. My time in the closet it over. I’m free to be myself.
I found someone. He cute, nice, funny, and SUPER compatible with me. He’s the guy I’ve always daydreamed my head about dating, but I always thought would be impossible to find. We’ve talked for a while, and now we’re super infatuated with each other. Today is my first date with him. In fact, it’s my first date ever. I feel like I’ve finally made it. All that suffering for being gay, it made me stronger, and now I get to be with a man that I love.
I just wanna thank this community. I made so many rants in this subreddit, and I don’t know what I would have done without this outlet and without the advice I’ve been given. This place is so freeing, filled with so many open minded people. A lot of us share somewhat this experience of leaving something that hurt us. I just hope that all of us can recover. I never thought I would, but I am.
I still have a ways to go. I don’t know how my fundamentalist family will react. They’re still trying to re indoctrinate me into the religion. They’re still in disbelief that I even left. I have to deal with that, and it will be frustrating. I live in a place where gay men are harassed if they show any public affection. The harm religion did to me will scar, and there will be baggage. It will take time to heal.
But we will all heal from the scars this cursed religion has left us with.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to get ready for.
submitted by trickyman226 to atheism [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 17:03 trickyman226 Despite childhood indoctrination, I’m going on my first ever date today.

Hey there!
I just wanted to make a quick post noting some progress. When I started this alt account, I was a self hating gay man, who was confused about his sexuality, and guilty because Christianity told me to be.
I grew up in a fundamentalist cult. I went to a church that believed in tongues, faith healings, prophecy, all of it. My mother took me to church between 4 and 7 times a week during my adolescence. Everything revolves around God. I even went to a Baptist school where they expelled gay people.
Needless to say, being gay rocked my world. I hated myself for a long time. I had serious depression, and by the time I was starting to realize I was losing my faith, I attempted suicide but backed out at the last moment. I was not okay.
I have been exorcised for being gay, multiple times, anointing oil splashed on my as multiple pastors screamed at me so that demons would leave my body. Many people told me I would have to be celibate forever. I believed them. I am very romantically minded, and am a pretty sexual person, so the thought of never having a partner just destroyed me.
A year ago, I walked away from religion. I was still attending a Christian school. I was still forced to go to church many times a week and pretend I was Christian. I was now closeted in two ways, as an atheist and as a Christian.
However, I felt freer than ever. I could be myself, at least for myself, for the first time ever. I no longer felt guilt for who and what I am. It was a difficult year, having to deal with the ramifications of leaving religion, but I would do it a million times over to continue to experience the freedom I now experience.
Now, I’ve moved away from my mother and into my dad’s house for college. He’s accepting, and am atheist himself. I have slowly come out that I’m an atheist over time, and soon I will no longer hide my sexuality. My time in the closet it over. I’m free to be myself.
I found someone. He cute, nice, funny, and SUPER compatible with me. He’s the guy I’ve always daydreamed my head about dating, but I always thought would be impossible to find. We’ve talked for a while, and now we’re super infatuated with each other. Today is my first date with him. In fact, it’s my first date ever. I feel like I’ve finally made it. All that suffering for being gay, it made me stronger, and now I get to be with a man that I love.
I just wanna thank this community. I made so many rants in this subreddit, and I don’t know what I would have done without this outlet and without the advice I’ve been given. This place is so freeing, filled with so many open minded people. We all share somewhat this experience of leaving something that hurt us. I just hope that all of us can recover. I never thought I would, but I am.
I still have a ways to go. I don’t know how my fundamentalist family will react. They’re still trying to re indoctrinate me into the religion. They’re still in disbelief that I even left. I have to deal with that, and it will be frustrating. I live in a place where gay men are harassed if they show any public affection. The harm religion did to me will scar, and there will be baggage. It will take time to heal.
But we will all heal from the scars this cursed religion has left us with.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to get ready for.
submitted by trickyman226 to exchristian [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 16:30 mtlblockboy My Testimony

tl;dr = prodigal son
To be clear:
This testimony is not about me, not for my own reputation or glory or my own notoriety. It is to hopefully turn some of you reading this towards salvation through Jesus Christ, our Lord and saviour, who came in the flesh as a human being 2000 years ago (approx.) and laid down his life as a propitiation for the sins of all mankind via Roman crucifixion. He rose again 3 days after his death, in so doing conquering death and Satan and permitting mankind to access salvation via belief in Him as God and His resurrection. He ascended to heaven where he is seated at the right hand of God and will return to earth in the future at an unknown date to judge mankind.
SECTION 1: BORN AND RAISED ––– 1995 - 2012
I came to know Jesus as a little boy. From the earliest time I can recall, back in preschool, Jesus was always a part of my life. I remember making a craft where we took a rock (representing Jesus) and wrote ‘the way, the truth, and the life’ on it (Jesus describes himself as this in a passage from the Gospels) and I still have it in my childhood bedroom). I loved Sunday School and I loved reading the Bible and bible stories as a little boy.
I vaguely recall the moment I ‘accepted Jesus into my heart’. I was in the backseat of the car and I asked my mom how to become a Christian (at about 4 to 5 years old) … and she explained to me I had to believe in Jesus and accept him into my heart. And I tried my hardest to do that! My mom later told me that she teared up at that moment because she could just tell that I genuinely had put my faith in Jesus at such a young age and had become a Christian at that moment.
I took my faith very seriously. I attended a small church where I was a member of the worship band. I was quite involved and listened attentively at every sermon. I like to believe for my age I had a pretty solid grasp of the theology being discussed. I was interested, I cared. Over the course of a year or two while I was about 13 to 14, I read the entire Bible cover to cover. All throughout growing up from what I can remember, I made sure to read at least one chapter of the Bible every night and I prayed morning and night.

So how the heck did I end up turning away from my faith?
Factor A: Fear of Not Being Cool
While I was on exchange in France in Grade 11, it really hurt me how the kids there made fun of me for being Christian. I remember one night, we were sitting at a bar having shooters and these kids I had just met were literally mocking me to my face for just believe in Jesus. I brushed it off at the time, but it really wounded me and made me not want to be Christian. Being a teenager, I just really wanted to fit in and be cool so I started to try to hide my faith as much as I could and keep it private, lest others find out and ridicule me.
I was not cool in high school. Heading off to [college], I saw it as a fresh start and was determined to make cool friends and be cool. Cool cool cool. How on earth was I going to be cool if people found out I was some weird Christian Jesus freak? So, I made the choice to just abandon Christianity altogether and pretend that I never was Christian (unfortunately, my plans failed anyways and even dropping Christianity could not make me cool – I remained a reject LOL)
Factor B: Seeds of Doubt
I remember when I was like 16… these doubts started to creep into my mind as if spoken into my head by someone –– previously my faith was very strong, but I started to hear questions in my head like: Is God reeeeaaaally real? Why does God allow bad things happen to good people? Why does God allow some people to be saved and others not? How could a loving God allow that to happen to his creation? Why would God create people just destroy them?
Satan himself putting those questions in my mind – he loves nothing more than ripping Christian kids away from their faith and dragging their souls down to hell
SECTION 2: WAYWARD – CHILD –– 2012 - 2020
When I graduated high school, I was happy. Had good relationships with family and friends I had. Was very successful academically. I was a happy kid.
Fast forward to 25 years old where my life has turned into a dark, decrepit, depressed charade
Ever since I made the worst decision of my life at 16 to leave the church and to leave Jesus, pretty soon I spiralled into depression in my first semester of university. It NEVER went away. I had moments of happiness, sure, but they were momentary. The sense of alienation and loneliness pervaded every aspect of my life. And the worst thing was the fatigue that came with it. I made the poor choice of beginning to take prescription stimulants (starting with methylphenidate and working my way up to amphetamines) to address my energy issues.
You know those gray days where everything just feels kind of bleh? That was what every day felt like to me. There was no joy in being with people, and EVERYTHING felt like a task, like a checkbox. Going through the motions. A performance. Like I said above, a charade. My medical school colleagues will be familiar with the SIGECAPS mnemonic for depression – I hit every one of those except suicidal ideation, thank the Lord.
Sin. It started with dipping my toes in its murky water. Then turned into full immersion into behaviours that would nearly destroy me. You name it, I did it. My medical school classmates will recall my issues with binge drinking. Partying. Tons of casual sex. All the ‘bad behaviours’.
But the two sins that dominated my life in recent years were:
  1. Drugs
Stimulants nearly ended my life. I pretended to be OK for years every day in medical school while battling abuse of prescription stimulants. I needed them just to get through the day. I would spend 95% of my day thinking about where I was going to get my next pill. You couldn’t see them but believe me I was in chains to this addiction. I am so grateful to God to be free from this and I am crying as I type this.
  1. Porn
Hardcore gay porn. Multiple times a day. Sometimes even for hours at a time. I couldn’t stop. Could not stop. Even for unreligious people the use would qualify as beyond problematic. It was destroying my mind. Rotting my brain. I shudder when I think of the untold weeks (if you add up the hours) I lost to this destructive habit that, too, had me in chains.
That’s the thing about sin. It…. controls you. You think you are in control but you’re not. Sin. Addiction. ‘A rose by any other name’…
But worse than these behavioural things, was the kind of person I turned into. My character, or lack thereof…
Dishonesty: I turned into a pathological liar, a fundamentally dishonest, deceptive person. I intentionally deceived people, sometimes even in academic settings.
Selfishness: All I thought about all day long was myself and my problems. I couldn’t pry my mind off of me me me me me me me me me.
I was just generally a bad person. I would volunteer pretending to care about stuff only doing it for the ulterior motive of medical school applications. I would pretend to care about causes I never thought about outside of observed settings for my own clout. Truly a pathological, sick, messed up kid. Basically, I turned into a charlatan masquerading as a good person when on the inside I was a rotting corpse, morally. I lied so much I deceived MYSELF into believing I was a good person. I mocked Christianity and ridiculed Christians, even mocking my own mother for her strong convictions.
And I had insight into how amoral I was! I was AWARE that I had something wrong with me and that I needed to fix myself. I tried doing behavioural therapy on myself, refusing to believe that the problem could be I stopped believing in God. Hint – it didn’t work. God was made up, obviously. How could a made-up figure possibly help me?
SECTION 3: “Have you guys seen ___’s Instagram story???” ¬¬–– FALL 2019
In fall 2019, I started taking an antidepressant (superimposed on chronic stimulant abuse). My mood quickly became elated. Too happy. Too good. Towards the 6-8 week mark of my antidepressant course I started to experience psychotic phenomena. I can go into all of the details later if you are interested, but it all culminated the week of October 16, 2019 (the date I was hospitalized).
I can’t exactly remember what symptoms came first, but I remember one night not being able to sleep and turning on the TV just before 3 AM. And there were music videos playing and to me, the singers weren’t looking into a camera they were looking through the screen into my eyes. Then at 3 AM exactly this scary music video came on and freaked me out. I interpreted this to be a call to some kind of religious mission. I had a meeting a student health professional who tried to direct me to the psychiatric emergency, but I am clever and even in my manic state I managed to talk my way out of it. Later that day, I went to a lecture, when the clock struck 3:00 PM exactly the entire room transfigured before my eyes. The lecturer turned into a dark satanic figure with pitch black eyes. His voice became unnaturally low and demonic. I was horrified. The lecture slides seemed to be altered and full of obvious mistakes and no one around me seemed to notice. I had no idea what was going on and I was amazed as all around me everyone was glued to their laptops and did not notice this Satanic figure in the room. I had to get out of the room, so I STORMED out of the room fearing for my life. Outside in the hospital always, the world had transfigured into this apocalyptic scene. Everyone’s face was dejected, and they seemed to be suffering. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. I, unfortunately, decided to visit a supervisor from work right at that moment where my lunacy was exposed. I later went home and misinterpreted a passage from the Bible to mean that [city] would be destroyed within a few hours and if I wanted to live… I had to get to [neighbouring hometown]! (completely insane)
I got in my car and sped to [hometown] at a demonic pace. At one point, a police officer turned on their lights behind me to pull me over – but I knew better, this was Satan disguised as a cop car! I would not be fooled –– so I floored it to 200 kph going down the highway to [hometown]. A few minutes later, the cop car disappeared in my rearview mirror. Did I hallucinate it? I have no idea. It is a ******miracle****** I did not kill anyone or myself that night. Going down [highway], I have lost all my memory of that portion of the drive. I don’t know what happened. I have fragmentary memories of a ripping down the shoulder of the road at like 130 kph and swerving at the last possible second to avoid crashing into 4 construction workers – I have this image emblazoned in my mind of these young guys bracing for impact knowing they were going to die and my car somehow swerving around them defying the laws of physics.
I showed up at my childhood home where my dad and brother were preparing to catch me and bring me to the hospital, appropriately. Unfortunately, in that state, I started hallucinating and saw their faces become red and demonic looking and realized this was not my dad and brother but were imposters that had taken over their bodies. So, I physically assaulted them, believing they were trying to murder me and I needed to fight for my life. I’ve never hit anyone in my life.
You don’t need all the details, but within a few hours I was in the psychiatric emerg. and the next day on the psych ward. My delusions were many and shifted quickly. I thought the psychiatric ward was heaven at one point. At several points I thought I was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. I can’t even remember them all. A few things I do remember were:
a. quickly meeting a man who said he had been waiting for my arrival, and who somehow knew that I had a 98% high school average and went to [my medical school] without me being able to discern how he would know that –– he claimed God revealed this information to him and that God had put him in the hospital in order for him to meet me. Over the course of the two weeks preceding my admission, the religious overtones led me back to faith in the existence of Christ but not Christianity per se. This man helped turn me back to the Bible and redirect my behaviours and attitudes to realign with Christian ones.
b. There was this elderly man who could barely speak English who I would play checkers with. One day, he passed me a sheet of paper he had been doing a drawing on and asked me to sign it. It was titled, “The End of the World”.
c. the end of my stay on the psych ward, it felt like I was being given a series of instructions to complete from a supernatural source. It culminated in one day, me sitting down to have a conversation with an elderly man on the ward. I know he wasn’t God, obviously, but the things he said to me in that moment seemed to be as if God were speaking to me. He said: “I knew you would figure it out eventually, [my name]” I shuddered with fear. I can’t remember everything he exactly said, but basically he confronted me about how dishonest I was as a person, and kindly explained to me that living a more honest life was not hard to do. I don’t care whether or not it was just a coincidence or not, as far as I was concerned, those words hit me as from a divine source.
And innumerable other weird occurences that seemed like some kind of message to me. All the messages to the effect of “change your life, young man” “turn away from sin” “repent” etc
(The doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia, if you’re wondering. I don’t have that, LOL)
I was ‘psychotic’ for a solid month after I was admitted to the hospital and they took me off stimulants which is how they diagnosed me with bipolar – as stimulant-induced psychosis should clear much earlier than that. I remember going to the movies with my dad and had this ominous premonition telling me no! don’t go see that movie! To the point where I almost asked dad to see a different movie ¬¬–– but recovering psych patient __[me]__ told himself, “don’t be insane, it’s just a movie, it can’t hurt you” – so I went. The movie was Parasite. From the very first word in the movie, I was convinced that every single word of the script on the screen was a message directed to me. It seemed to be saying to me in code words that I had been chosen to go on some mission to spread the gospel to a lot of people. I was paralyzed with fear by how real it seemed that God was speaking to me through the screen. When I went home, my bed was made perfectly, and it had been messier earlier that day. I immediately thought it could be supernatural, but my dad is a hard-boiled atheist and laughed it off, but he could never explain why it was made either.
SECTION 4: WAFFLING
Basically, since that hospitalization, I waffled back and forth between wanting to be Christian and turning away from it back to my old habits of drugs, porn, dishonesty, etc. This past fall, the alternation got faster and faster back and forth, and I started to feel this sense of disorganization and confusion. Like I couldn’t control my thoughts. This sense of internal chaos. I felt like I was losing control of myself. Like I couldn’t predict my own behaviour. I grew anxious over how quickly I would change my modus operandi and struggled with not being able to control my future decisions.
The sins intensified as a ‘coping mechanism’. The porn thing got super intense and messed up until a few weeks ago. One day, I came across this picture (attached) of myself as a little boy and I started bawling, imagining if that little boy could see his future self now… and the pathetic piece of s**t he had turned into. This bright-eyed, happy little boy had turned into a sick loser.
https://preview.redd.it/cu8xw6ta20261.png?width=554&format=png&auto=webp&s=d25887075e7a5462c114e83cf26e1e2f75dd1ce1
I started crying and could feel Jesus calling. God had more in store for that bright-eyed little boy than what I had allowed my life to become.
I knew I had two choices: continue to devolve into degeneracy and lead a meaningless life serving Satan or turn back to Christ and save myself from the bottomless pit of despair I was digging myself into. In spurts of Holy Spirit-inspired action, I made the necessary changes in my life. I threw out all my sex paraphernalia. Just threw it out. Done with it. Took my last Adderall last Friday –– for my whole life, so help me God. Then I pushed through a major barrier in my new-found faith –– fear of evaluation of others. Last Thursday, I witnessed about my faith to the physicians with addictions group I have to phone into every month. The testimony poured out of me emotionally as if I didn’t even have to think of the words, as if they were being said for me. I could tell that the Holy Spirit was acting in me to spread the good news and I felt this transcendent sense of joy that I’ve never felt in my life. That I’d never known from anything before. This sense of accomplishment and having done something for God’s kingdom. An elation I’d never knew was possible.
SECTION 5: FREE
I knew that in that moment I had finally attained salvation. No more waffling back and forth between sort of Christian and sort of not. Committing to Christ. Not going back across the dotted line this time, ever again. Now, I am sure that I am ‘saved’, as they say, for once and for all.
That night, I couldn’t sleep. And NOT because I was on drugs. And I NEVER have trouble sleeping. Temptations came to sin once again after I had just made such a substantial step in my faith –– I phoned my mom and we prayed against demons and Satan and immediately a peace came to me. And the most amazing thing happened. I saw angels flying around me in my bedroom glittering in gold with wings and tiny halos.
After this transformative experience, through reading scripture and what psychiatrists would call delusions of reference –– it became apparent to me that I needed to face my fears of rejection and ridicule by peers and share my faith with everyone I knew. Basically, I was convinced God was instructing me to share my faith.
And every time I have shared my faith this past week the joy within me has grown and my sense of confidence has grown in parallel. Not a confidence so much in my own worth but in the fact that I am doing something useful for God’s kingdom.
I believe I am free from sin. Temptation has only come to me once since I found true salvation. It is no longer a daily battle where every day it’s 50/50 whether I cave to sin or not. The compulsion is no longer there. I’m not attached to sin anymore. Literally.
Satan fought hard for my soul but in the end Christ won. Christ always wins. If I can be saved (I intentionally omitted some of the details of the bad things I’ve done over the years to protect my career), you definitely can as well! 99% of you reading this will think I’m crazy but I am hoping even just 1% of you reading this will consider whether there is something more to life than what we see every day, and that maybe there is something that comes after we die.
Matthew 16:24-26 –– “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains” the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?”

I will leave you with my favorite Mariah lyrics that build me up whenever other people break me down:
________________________________
They can say,
Anything they want to say
Try to bring me down, but I will not
Allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me,
And they can try
Hard to make me feel that I
Don't matter at all
But I refuse to falter in what I believe or lose faith in my dreams
'Cause there's
There's a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they can't take that away from me

They can do
Anything they want to you
If you let them in
But they won't ever win
If you cling to you pride, and just push them aside,
See I,
I have learned
There's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul that they cannot possess
Oh I won't be afraid and the darkness will fade
'Cause there's
There's light in me me
That shines brightly, yes
They can try
But they can't take that away from me

No, oh
They can't take this
Precious love I'll always have inside me,
Certainly the Lord will guide me where I need to go

They can say
Anything they want to say
Try to bring me down
But I won't face the ground
I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach
Although they do try
Hard to make me feel that I,
Don't matter at all,
But I refuse to fall,
Tell me what I believe or lose faith in my dreams
'Cause there's a light in me
That shines brightly yes


Can’t Take That Away (Mariah’s Theme)
Mariah Carey
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2020.11.28 12:27 EthicalAtheist1971 “Ye shall know the truth; and the truth shall make you free. “

I was born into a Christian family. My father was an Irish Catholic hoodlum from the mean streets of the Bronx and my mother, an Episcopalian “up-town girl” from New Rochelle. Christened before I could form thoughts and my name written in the “Lambs Book of Life”. We moved to Texas after my father was released from prison for armed robbery. Here we “found Jesus” in a Southern Baptist church in South Texas. My family was deeply involved in the church. We did everything from driving the church van, to singing in the choir; from visitation (going door to door to proselytize) to performing all over as a Christian family singing group. We moved back to NY after my junior year of his. I graduated HS at 17 and enrolled in Elohim Bible Institute. After a stint in the army and a divorce, entirely my fault, I moved back to Texas, remarried and became engrossed in church life, holding every position at one time or the other. During this time, I attended Texas Hispanic Baptist Seminary and Andersonville Seminary, with the intention of becoming an evangelist like Billy Graham (my hero at the time). I was licensed and ordained at the ripe age of 28. I pastored 3 churches over the course of 23 years. In that 23 years I baptized hundreds of new converts, preached to crowds as small as 3, and as large as 2500, I grew a starter church from its 6 members to 180, and pastored an intimate group of retirees for 5 years, traveling 50 miles to do so on Sunday mornings. I had 3, in home, neighborhood Bible studies, and spent an average of 40+ hours a week, reading, studying, and preparing lessons and sermons for my 6 services a week. I was deeply immersed in and engaged by the Bible and my life as a Christian. I never was a full time pastor, as I worked 40+ hours a week as an hydraulic technician in an oilfield based industry. I accepted no monetary gains for my “service to the lord”. I was sold out. Deep state “relationship with Jesus”. During a period of 40 days of fasting (no food, just water), I experienced what I could only describe, then, as spiritual “breakthroughs”. I had tremendously vivid lucid dreams, prayed in Hebrew twice (I don’t fluidly know Hebrew, just a few phrases), and had moments of “prophetic clarity” when I “heard god speaking”. During this time period, my wife was apparently seeing another man. The long hours away from home and in studies left her alone, and I was too “heavenly minded” to be any earthly good as a lover or friend. I had begun my fast, as I had began many fasts before, out of a time of unease and serious questioning. The more I studied and taught, the more inconsistencies, contradictions, and outright fallacies I found within the cannon I so loved and touted as “the inerrant word of god”. This was disconcerting and caused struggling deep within me. I had vowed, in the beginning, to NEVER be a hypocrite or teach something false or misleading. Yet, I found myself, too many times, explaining away, glossing over, and ignoring the hundreds of examples of errors within the Bible. I also started “testing” god. “Laying out the Golden Fleece” ( a reference to an OT scripture when a major prophet asked god to either wet, or keep dry, a animal skin as a sign of direction). Over a period of a few (10) years, I started recognizing patterns in “answered prayers”. I noticed that ever answer had human involvement. In the past I’d explained that as god working through men. I became a student of human behaviors and historical studies of ancient times. I remembered the lucid dream states I found myself in during my training for the Army Rangers/airborne that were caused by severe hunger, fatigue, and sleep deprivation. I recalled many other things I’d experienced and was able to scientifically, psychologically, and philosophically explain every one. I comprised lists of inaccuracies, fallacies, contradictions, and late print additions within the Bible. My wife and I divorced, and through a very rough 3years of alcoholic stupor, 2 DUI’s, dating 14 women simultaneously, and diagnosis of severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD I found, Amy. (My current wife and best friend). Amy is, as are many highly educated people, super intelligent, scholarly, critical thinking, liberally minded, and deeply caring. Through 2 years of painstaking “discussion”, education, and serious emotional upheaval, we found ourselves in love and I found myself. Amy was the catalyst I needed to propel me past the crippling indoctrination and life long participation in, what I now call the “mass delusion” of the insanity of religion, to me. A strong, critical thinking, confident, good man. A man that loves all creatures, great and small. A man that is deeply involved in human and civil rights. Me. A man whose political beliefs once put Rush Limbaugh to my left. Every day I find myself closer to “godliness”. I just had to stop believing in the supernatural and be the force change and love that is attributed to deities around the world, by people stuck in a self perpetuating mass delusion. I’m not angry at the religious. I pity them. I empathize with them. They are powerless to believe or behave differently. They “know not what they do”. My hope is that all will one day find the truth, and be set free from the bondage of the fear of a displeased non-existent deity.
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2020.11.28 04:18 Mobsteroids 23 [M4F] Ohio/US/Online- Life long, heart to heart, genuine connections are what I seek. Come chat, come cuddle and let’s see what happens! :)

Good evening Reddit, thanks for taking the time to read my post! This isn’t my first time posting here, no, but I hope it’s my last. With the pandemic and my current lot in life, I’ve been pretty lonely and absolutely starved for love, affection and someone to grow with. Due to a nontraditional path after high school and a gradual shift away of lives, I’m here again searching for a consistent friend and something more.
I’m currently located in the EST of midwestern America. I’m a sleep deprived night owl which in the past wouldn’t be an issue, but now is one. I’m looking for someone near by, in the region or completely understanding of the time differences that may be between us. If things progress, I’d love something physical (when safe! 😷) and in person. Regardless, consistency would be great. And please, no ghosting :(
Buckle up for what’s coming next! I’ll do my best to wrap things up quick...(ish)
What I’m Into, open to discussing but certainly not limited to
Me personally? I would like something that’ll last. Weather that be something casual or more permanent, I’m open to discussing and exploring it with you.
About me
YOU
Thank you, stay say and please wear a 😷!!
❤️
Please help me w/ my photo game
Mailman Puppy Bribes
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2020.11.28 04:04 Mobsteroids 23 [M4F] Ohio/US/Online- Life long, heart to heart, genuine connections is what I seek. Come chat, come cuddle and let’s see what happens.

Good evening Reddit, thanks for taking the time to read my post! This isn’t my first time posting here, no, but I hope it’s my last. With the pandemic and my current lot in life, I’ve been pretty lonely and absolutely starved for love, affection and someone to grow with. Due to a nontraditional path after high school and a gradual shift away of lives, I’m here again searching for a consistent friend and something more.
I’m currently located in the EST of midwestern America. I’m a sleep deprived night owl which in the past wouldn’t be an issue, but now is one. I’m looking for someone near by, in the region or completely understanding of the time differences that may be between us. If things progress, I’d love something physical (when safe! 😷) and in person. Regardless, consistency would be great. And please, no ghosting :(
Buckle up for what’s coming next! I’ll do my best to wrap things up quick...(ish)
What I’m Into, open to discussing but certainly not limited to
Me personally? I would like something that’ll last. Weather that be something casual or more permanent, I’m open to discussing and exploring it with you.
About me
YOU
Thank you, stay say and please wear a 😷!!
❤️
Please help me w/ my photo game
Mailman Puppy Bribes
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2020.11.27 16:12 greenandgreener 31 [F4M] Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship

  1. I watched a video clip before I went to bed last night. A cow lost her calf at birth. Her human then drove hours to another farm after he heard that there’s a calf available for adoption. He met with the farm owner, took the calf back to his farm, and introduced the little one to the momma cow. At first he was worried that they might not get along. But the momma cow accepted the little one. Some Redditors asked me for clarification before: “What’s your take on surrogacy?” These people either claimed that they “liked my profile a lot”, or that they “have been wanting to message me for weeks”. The answer’s written in my profile: “Surrogacy goes against my morals.” Kids, to me, are a gift from God. Not necessarily the Christian God, I guess you could say that they are a gift from the Mother Nature. And so if I was infertile, it would be the natural selection at work. Instead of finding ways, say like surrogacy, to go around it, I’d rather accept it. Wanting kids, to me, is not about wanting to pass my genes on. It’s about wanting to raise kids together, with the person I love the most in the entire world. So, to me, raising biological kids and raising adopted kids, are very much the same. People leave because of infertility. In fact people leave because of all sorts of things. I put my take on surrogacy, and my take on other stuff up front, to avoid getting into a situation like that. It’s a long profile, I do know. I did it on purpose. I did it so the majority would avoid contacting me. “She’s kind of a lot of work. Stay away from her.”
  2. Yesterday I watched a video clip on YouTube. A fox was trapped in the football nets. In the comment section a guy said he was in the same situation once. He saw a fox stuck in the nets while he was in the middle of the gym class. He ran to the fox. The teacher told him to come back, or there will be consequences. He didn’t listen, found a pair of scissors, and cut the nets loose. The kid got detention for a week. I wondered what for. Was it because he didn’t listen to what the teacher said? Or was it because he skipped the gym class without the teacher’s consent? Regardless, I think the kid made the right decision not listening. And I know the fox would agree.
What I am looking for -
Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) -
A single, monogamous, adult man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other)
If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't.
What I like -
Sun
Snow
Trees
Woodworking
Agriculture
Plants
Good food
Hot food
Hot soup
Warm words
Laughing
Wool yarn
Wool clothing
Names with stories, say like, street names
Dining wares
Trains
Photography
Old stories - old movies and shows
Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics
Good arts
Thrift stores
Flea markets
What I am looking for - Long version -
A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships.
Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me.
Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for.
Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. You could join me here. Or I could go there. A solid plan with solid dates would be needed. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for.
Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions.
Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help.
Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get; I do not care and even would very much prefer that, because I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie to me about your sexual past. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. Also, I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices.
Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be fine if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on.
Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you.
Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust.
Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values.
Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that.
Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes.
Pets - I do not have any pets.
Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to.
Tattoos - Sure, why not?
Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings.
Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though.
Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.)
P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if ever there was one, at a time.
TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
submitted by greenandgreener to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 15:54 MarkDMill Great deals for 11/27, including iPad Mini, further price drop on BundleHunt, and a *bunch* of other Black Friday sales

Oka Unarchiver has sponsored an ad-free MDM Deals this week and is giving away their premium version 100% free to MDM Deals fans. Oka Unarchiver is a fast, comprehensive, simple, and powerful, zip/unzip tool. Read more and get it free
Update: This deal went live after I posted, but it's awesome.
Macnificent bundle, 78% off, $272 ↘️ $59! - Choose any app for 50% off, or get the entire bundle for $59! Bundle options include: Timemator 2, RapidWeaver 8, Unclutter, Default Folder X, One Switch, Unite 3, Daisy Disk, Forklift 3, & Mosaic Pro; highly recommended. (Link fixed)
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Amazon Tech Deals for 11/27 ⠀ - Today's Amazon tech deals include:
submitted by MarkDMill to MDMDeals [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 02:57 greenandgreener 31 [F4M] Anywhere/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship

  1. I just watched a video clip on YouTube. A fox was trapped in the football nets. In the comment section a guy said he was in the same situation once. He saw a fox stuck in the nets while he was in the middle of the gym class. He ran to the fox. The teacher told him to come back, or there will be consequences. He didn’t listen, found a pair of scissors, and cut the nets loose. The kid got detention for a week. I wondered what for. Was it because he didn’t listen to what the teacher said? Or was it because he skipped the gym class without the teacher’s consent? Regardless, I think the kid made the right decision not listening. And I know the fox would agree.
  2. I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
What I am looking for -
Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) -
A single, monogamous, adult man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other)
If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't.
What I like -
Sun
Snow
Trees
Woodworking
Agriculture
Plants
Good food
Hot food
Hot soup
Warm words
Laughing
Wool yarn
Wool clothing
Names with stories, say like, street names
Dining wares
Trains
Photography
Old stories - old movies and shows
Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics
Good arts
Thrift stores
Flea markets
What I am looking for - Long version -
A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships.
Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me.
Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for.
Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. You could join me here. Or I could go there. A solid plan with solid dates would be needed. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for.
Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions.
Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help.
Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get; I do not care and even would very much prefer that, because I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie to me about your sexual past. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. Also, I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices.
Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be fine if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on.
Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you.
Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust.
Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values.
Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that.
Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes.
Pets - I do not have any pets.
Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to.
Tattoos - Sure, why not?
Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings.
Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though.
Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.)
P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if ever there was one, at a time.
TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
submitted by greenandgreener to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 01:57 greenandgreener 31 [F4M] Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship

  1. I just watched a video clip on YouTube. A fox was trapped in the football nets. In the comment section a guy said he was in the same situation once. He saw a fox stuck in the nets while he was in the middle of the gym class. He ran to the fox. The teacher told him to come back, or there will be consequences. He didn’t listen, found a pair of scissors, and cut the nets loose. The kid got detention for a week. I wondered what for. Was it because he didn’t listen to what the teacher said? Or was it because he skipped the gym class without the teacher’s consent? Regardless, I think the kid made the right decision not listening. And I know the fox would agree.
  2. I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
What I am looking for -
Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) -
A single, monogamous, adult man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other)
If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't.
What I like -
Sun
Snow
Trees
Woodworking
Agriculture
Plants
Good food
Hot food
Hot soup
Warm words
Laughing
Wool yarn
Wool clothing
Names with stories, say like, street names
Dining wares
Trains
Photography
Old stories - old movies and shows
Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics
Good arts
Thrift stores
Flea markets
What I am looking for - Long version -
A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships.
Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me.
Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for.
Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. You could join me here. Or I could go there. A solid plan with solid dates would be needed. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for.
Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions.
Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help.
Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get; I do not care and even would very much prefer that, because I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie to me about your sexual past. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. Also, I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices.
Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be fine if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on.
Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you.
Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust.
Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values.
Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that.
Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes.
Pets - I do not have any pets.
Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to.
Tattoos - Sure, why not?
Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings.
Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though.
Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.)
P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if ever there was one, at a time.
TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
submitted by greenandgreener to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]